Hope and desire ,
Want and fire,  
The dawn, the start,
new beginnings, empty cart
New year, and jan of first,
Parched us in that undeniable thirst.

Brush away the old, learn anew,
Wee bit carte blanche, to run askew,
Every year same old story,
Can revelry sometimes be a tad gory.

A moment of solitude,
To think about those who can’t,
Pause pause pause,
Change the rant.

2019,
All those resolutions,
and the mutinous cacophony,
2020
Let peace reign supreme
and create a veritable symphony.  

Bid adieu to  resolutions and to do’s in your head,
this cycle shall  break
Create  a “to don’t” list instead...

Don’t pressure yourself  to party
Don’t  forget to be thankful for this year
No matter this years sorrow,
There is that beautiful promise
Of a beckoning tomorrow.

Don’t set any more resolutions,
Live each day with gratitude,
When the new year becomes old
You’ll have many a tale untold.

Don’t stay in the past,
It binds in Chains,
Unfettered you soar,
Hopes, desires, wings and more.

Hope is a song,
It’s notes lilting
It’s wings shiny
And it’s span embracing.

2020 let’s  call you hope
2020 let’s  call you love
2020 more than anything
Let’s  call you dawn of another day...



Some of us, few of us,
Maybe he and  you,
and certainly me too,

Carve our worlds,
Different worlds,
Wanting, desiring,
Seeking the different.

Dark, gloriously different,
Decadent, wild and free,
beautiful to you and me.

Something elusive,  exotic and maybe ******,
mysteriously something out of the ordinary.

Sometimes we find it,
Sometimes we do not,
And we continue seeking the different,
It’s so achingly sought.

Just like that,
I felt a sprinkle of pain,
You know the kind that gnaws and grows,
And nibbles your insides.

What started it, I wonder,
A buried thought,
a deserted experience,
Befallen, buried, squashed,
Run asunder, but still alive.

It pushes through the barriers to say,
Hey you! Yes you!
I exist,
Don’t think your looking away,
Will stop me coming back, some day.

Huh! I beat it hollow,
and there it’s slimy self crept back,
I had learnt not to feed it as it would grow,
I keep it on such a strict spartan diet,
My oh My! Look how bulbous it looks!

Hmmmm! Pain, were you feeding inside of me merrily while I was asleep,
Chewing my tissues, chomp chomp, burp,
Deep so very deep,
I feel I am missing a bone or two,
you gluttonous pain,
I am sure you’ve gobbled up many cells too.

Dark, gray, silent, doom,
Am I on for lifelong gloom,
Aah! Hrmph! Boo hooo!
What do I do,
So many around me,
Who do I reach out to?

Oh I do reach out,
And they say,
You? Couldn’t be,
You’re so strong,
It doesn’t fit you well, this pain you see!

I laugh, Is this pain
A size smaller for me,
Am I self indulgent,
In saying it hurts.

I start looking around,
And see many like me,
Laughter hiding the pain,
Cloaked well, their touch warm,
The tremble reaching out in vain.

It’s tough, this despair,
Sometimes with valid cause,
Many times so much accumulated,
Unaddressed, unmet, covered with gauze.
It rears it’s ugly head
For many
Eating their insides,
It’s canine jaws,
Sharp and unrelenting.

I still don’t have an answer,
Who does really,
Expectations, recriminations, justifications, validations, manipulations, mechanisations,
Eat us up a bit more.
We sleep off some days
hoping to sleep away to nothingness.

And then we arise to the morn,
The sun filtering through, casting its warmth,
A bird in the distance chirping away,
Pain still there but so are my fingers glowing like starlight along the Milky Way,
My limbs stretch and I purr away,
The clocks tick tock,
Reminds me of a chance,
A new beginning,
A fresh start,
A fresh me,
A wounded but mighty heart!  

Facing my pain instead of sublimating it,
Nursing it tenderly instead of ill treating it,
I know you’ll ease out, heal out,
And I will be better each day,
Because this life, this beautiful life,
Is worth living each moment, every day.

When I face you, I shall share you,
Tell your story to those I want to,
And suddenly, you will feel acknowledged and dance way into the oblivion because you’ve been sung to, heard, cuddled and celebrated.

Till then, I trudge along...

Have you ever felt this,
That you know someone
Without really knowing them.

That you hold someone,
Without really  holding  them.

That you see someone,
Without really seeing them.

That you hear someone,
Without really hearing them.

That you feel someone,
Without them being close enough.

That you call out to them,
And their soul whispers back!