It is as if I am floating,
floating downwards
at a slow pace.
Mimicking the way
ashes float peacefully
from the height of the fire
towards the cold earth below.
I am glowing dimly
without much purpose
and yet,
I feel alive.
No weight lies upon my shoulders
and thoughts that once
clouded judgment suddenly
reveal a clear void.
The shackles of fear are released
as a calm gentle breeze
guides me so that I am free.
The less I think,
the less I am plagued
by pointless words
that are thrown around aimlessly.
Untouchable I fly,
far beyond the grasps
of negative energy
that has held me down.
I hold no resentments or envy
for now,
I am at peace.
No longer afraid of demons
that once lived within,
I have learned to let go and exist.
I cope with the faults and negatives but ,
thrive off of the positive that
I have chosen for me.

I can feel my heart shatter
When u act like nothing happened
Whenever it really does matter

Y turn your back on me now
When u said u felt that way
Just go as I get a towel

To wipe my face from the tears
As u laugh away with your peers
And I am here with all these fears

I told you all of these little things
But yet it didn't stop this pain
I am here wishing for fangs

To rip my heart out of my chest
As I am here choking the sobs away
I just wanted love but I failed this test

Now u see me here alone, quiet
But u save your breath with me
But I for one am not defiant

I stay away like you said
But I can't help but long for you
When I apparently misread

All those messages keep going on in my head
But I save them to myself
Until I am dead

Now I push people away
Cuz I'm too afraid of getting hurt
But it doesn't matter now, okay

I choose to either trust or not
But I choose not cuz of the mishaps
But it's not like I fought

For the chance to find out why
I couldn't understand your lies
But now I have to lie

To others who ask what's the matter
Cuz u were too embarrassed by the truth
But u ended our chatter

And I just sit here dumbfounded
By what u said to all those people
For which I thought we were bounded

Cuz of the way we talked to each other
So I was all happy for no reason
But why do I even bother

When I can just fall to the ground
But I have to try and empty my thoughts
Of you Cuz I need to go around

But I can't since u stand in my way
I can't say to others what happened
Since I am not okay

10.
I wake up in the morning, my door still locked from the night before
Where I hid myself from the world.
9.
Standing at the bus stop, hoping no one notices the cuts on my wrists or my red, blood shot eyes.
8.
Roaming the halls I generally tried to avoid them, but they always seem to find me, again, and again.
7.
Lunch is the same as always, I'm sitting alone, hoping someone notices me...all I need is a friend.
6.
The bus ride home is full of more taunting...all because I love someone of the same gender...
5.
I finally get home, I do my normal routine, go upstairs to my room, lock the door, and get out my razor.
4.
I'll spend about an hour or so, making the same motions over and over again, thinking...I can't change who I am...
3.
My mom comes home and says that she is starting dinner, I tell her okay, it'll be about an hour.
2.
After dinner I read the texts that the others from school sent me...all the same...mean...discrimination against me...
1.
I'm in my closet...with the chair...and the rope I took from the garage...I'm crying at the note I just left at my door...I go and I knock the chair from under my.

I'm finally speaking up
I'm finally letting it out