My biggest fear in life,
has unfolded before my eyes.
I feel so misunderstood,
they don't see the tears I've cried.
Their lack of grace and compassion have violently pushed against me,
So far they bend me.
With comments and rejection
revealing their own projections.
They just want the quick fix,
to return to their lives.
They want someone to blame,
so they can take a side.
But breakups are messy,
traumatising and dividing.
No matter the cause,
they will find their cause.
You can look at the surface,
what was said and what was done.
But it goes deeper than that,
your world is being undone.
You look to me for the answer,
for honesty and explanations.
But when I give it,
all you hear is justification.
That I possess no remorse,
that I have no compassion.
You want to see me burn,
regret all my actions.
But I won't.
I refuse to cower to power.
Every since I was little,
this was always my mantle.
I stand strong in the face
of the deepest adversity.
Amongst my friends, mentors and my community.
For all this time,
I know I've chosen love.
And I refuse to be mistreated, neglected and judged.
You can focus on how I handled it,
I'm still figuring it out.
Sure I messed up,
you used that as your out.
I'm just living my life,
you say that it's wrong.
You find fault in the fact that
I'm trying to move on.
You don't want to face it,
you just want to run.
It's undoing your security,
you're questioning your own.
You resent I might be right,
this kills you inside.
Then you'd have to face
the demons inside.
For once it consumes you,
that your life may be fake.
You won't be able to forget it,
you won't be able to escape.
You see me living happy,
authentic and free.
This makes you uncomfortable,
this isn't meant to be.
For you have a belief,
I am **** of the earth.
But I came out on top,
you attack my worth.
But I know I'm worthy of love,
this you can't take from me.
For it comes from above
and it comes from within me.
For people like me,
challenge people like you.
I inspire so many,
when you feel hatred and envy.
For those that pull me back and forth,
they try to keep me in mess I have caused.
They're not for me. In fact,
I'm convinced they're against me.
For if they loved me, they would forgive and accept my apology.
They'd see my heart.
I kept quiet to protect my privacy,
but also to protect the hearts of those around me.
For you didn't need to know,
details only brought pain.
Pride made you nosey,
now you're suffering from your gain.
Do not put this on me,
this was your call.
You cornered me,
It's now beyond my control.
Take responsibility,
stop blaming me for your issues.
We've barely spoken, how could I be responsible for you?
Stop looking to me, I'm not the source of your depression.
It's the people around you, your fear and suppression.
You don't want to admit it,
you're surrounded by evil.
They're only out for themselves and the proof is in front of you.
There's no patience, no self control or goodness.
There's no humility, no understanding or gentleness.
There's no faith, no respect or kindness.
This isn't love.
Don't play it off as righteousness.
Love seeks to understand,
to forgive and to restore.
Love is patient, it protects and removes all ego.
Love is all that matters.
The most powerful force in the universe.
Love is what I fight for and
I will lose it all, to find it.