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3.2k · Jul 2014
bands
Lehua Lokelaulii Jul 2014
She listens to band members sing lyrics that explain her life.
her situations
her struggles.
She listens as they tell her it's O.K.
As the music gives her hope
for those minutes, she feels like someone's there for her
like they understand
those band members were there
bands helped her realize she's not alone.
2.8k · Jul 2014
it's all unrealistic.
Lehua Lokelaulii Jul 2014
Because,
**** your feelings
and the thoughts that go through your head.
and the people that say "They care"
and the people that left
and the ones that said "i love you"
cause it's all so unrealistic
and we'll never know the true meaning of it all anyways.
2.2k · Jul 2014
talking
Lehua Lokelaulii Jul 2014
We used to talk everyday.
Having deep and detailed conversations
Talking about everything that was happening in my life
Laughing and talking for hours
But now those days are just memories
sitting in the dust
where im leaving it
because we're not the same anymore.
1.5k · Aug 2014
Life
Lehua Lokelaulii Aug 2014
Decisions come with consequences and we are all painting our own pictures of life.
1.5k · Jul 2014
Untitled
Lehua Lokelaulii Jul 2014
"You think that i can't see what kind of man you are,
if you are a man at all."
1.5k · Jul 2014
Count Down...
Lehua Lokelaulii Jul 2014
Here we are,
7 days till my birthday.
7 days to count another year on this Earth.
Another year of...
Everything i'm trying to run away from.
The world is sick.
Humanity is low.
And I am shrinking inside.
Shrinking everything but the baddest things,
those are growing.
The insecurities.
The thoughts.
My insanity.
It's all growing.
and me?
What am i doing about it?
Nothing.
What could i do?
It's controlling me.
It's captured my feelings and controls my thoughts.
It's holding me down,
knowing I am getting weaker;
knowing it has me locked up
inside myself.
1.1k · Aug 2014
Pluviophile
Lehua Lokelaulii Aug 2014
It's been raining
and I usually love this kind of weather
but it's starting to feel
like tear drops falling
and someone crying
someone I didn't meet,
but knew so well.
1.1k · Jul 2014
four walls
Lehua Lokelaulii Jul 2014
I find comfort in darkness
where i am most comfortable with myself
sitting in the dark
no windows open
everything starts to feel okay
nothing is there to get me
no one there to see me cry
just these four walls surrounding me
and they've become my best friends.
847 · Aug 2014
Will you stay awake for me
Lehua Lokelaulii Aug 2014
I can see it in your eyes
the looks when you're high
the drugs, I know it's there.
i can see what you're doing behind closed doors
I may not be there, but I know.
Sadly, I've always known
well, you're not the only one in pain
and I want you to know
you put me through it too
but like you said,
no one knows what you're going through;
but i do,
I'm still going through it too
and the worst part;
it's because of you.
659 · Nov 2014
Limits
Lehua Lokelaulii Nov 2014
So strong for so long?
Baby drop the act,
It's over.
Cry, scream, grip your pillow, cause you deserve to let it out.
643 · Jan 2016
choices you made
Lehua Lokelaulii Jan 2016
You still think about the person she was.
The little things that happen throughout the day remind you of her.
How she used to laugh at the little things you did
or how she looked at you when you smiled.
she loved you but you loved them.
636 · Jul 2014
That way
Lehua Lokelaulii Jul 2014
What if the world spun a different way.
And the stars were black ***** in a white sky.
And the moon came out during the day
or if the sun never shined?
would we wonder if things could be different
the way we wonder as they are now?
606 · Aug 2014
Unanswered forever.
Lehua Lokelaulii Aug 2014
If you're there,
could you just let me know
if it ever was meant to happen.

Answer my unanswered question...
don't leave me wondering,
what happened.

Don't leave me hanging,
never able to know.
493 · Aug 2014
Staying.
Lehua Lokelaulii Aug 2014
They say i let it show,
that they can see the pain within me.

They see it in my eyes and my expression

and it's true, I can no longer hide it,
cause the pain is there.

They say
"push harder."
"Keep going."
"You can do it."

I'm not trying to let this happen,
I just want the world to know that.

**I'm here.
453 · Nov 2014
Beyond the show
Lehua Lokelaulii Nov 2014
I understand why you did drugs.
It numbs the pain and sadness.
Everyone wants to numb their pain and sadness..
419 · Jul 2014
Be myself?
Lehua Lokelaulii Jul 2014
Be myself?
so you can judge me, right?
laugh in my face.
tell me i'm doing it wrong?
tell me i'm not living my life right?
but who are you?
who are you to tell me,
who i am?
396 · Nov 2014
Inside and out
Lehua Lokelaulii Nov 2014
She's locked herself in her room again,
"Honey come out"
"No, I want to be alone, just leave me alone."
For days she doesn't want to come out.
Not to eat.
Blocks out everyone.
It's becoming natural for people to forget her.
But why? She's so beautiful.
Maybe she feels she's not.
381 · Nov 2015
The difference
Lehua Lokelaulii Nov 2015
And I'd never ask you to be okay with some of the things i need to be "okay" with.
371 · Nov 2014
i don't know.
Lehua Lokelaulii Nov 2014
Can we really be who we want to be?
when we sit there every night thinking about what we want to begin with,
ending every night with no answer for ourselves.
So, how can we be who we want, when not even ourselves know what we want.
369 · Jul 2014
"It's okay"
Lehua Lokelaulii Jul 2014
As a teenager she wondered what happened
where did the connection go?
why did it disappear the way it did.
just faded, without a cause or known reason
if the reason was known, would it be valid?
"mother? mother?"  she called,
hoping for a response.
but she never got one.
she always said "it's okay, she'll call back later."
but not knowing if she would.
Would she reach out to me in the future?
will the connection ever come back.
or is this what it will be.
Sometimes, i wonder.
and it can surely take over my mood.
331 · Jan 2016
new beginnings
Lehua Lokelaulii Jan 2016
i love you more than i knew i could love anyone. it's scary. i'm sorry, it's still new to me.

— The End —