She listens to band members sing lyrics that explain her life.
her situations
her struggles.
She listens as they tell her it's O.K.
As the music gives her hope
for those minutes, she feels like someone's there for her
like they understand
those band members were there
bands helped her realize she's not alone.

Because,
**** your feelings
and the thoughts that go through your head.
and the people that say "They care"
and the people that left
and the ones that said "i love you"
cause it's all so unrealistic
and we'll never know the true meaning of it all anyways.

"You think that i can't see what kind of man you are,
if you are a man at all."

Here we are,
7 days till my birthday.
7 days to count another year on this Earth.
Another year of...
Everything i'm trying to run away from.
The world is sick.
Humanity is low.
And I am shrinking inside.
Shrinking everything but the baddest things,
those are growing.
The insecurities.
The thoughts.
My insanity.
It's all growing.
and me?
What am i doing about it?
Nothing.
What could i do?
It's controlling me.
It's captured my feelings and controls my thoughts.
It's holding me down,
knowing I am getting weaker;
knowing it has me locked up
inside myself.

It's been raining
and I usually love this kind of weather
but it's starting to feel
like tear drops falling
and someone crying
someone I didn't meet,
but knew so well.

I can see it in your eyes
the looks when you're high
the drugs, I know it's there.
i can see what you're doing behind closed doors
I may not be there, but I know.
Sadly, I've always known
well, you're not the only one in pain
and I want you to know
you put me through it too
but like you said,
no one knows what you're going through;
but i do,
I'm still going through it too
and the worst part;
it's because of you.

You still think about the person she was.
The little things that happen throughout the day remind you of her.
How she used to laugh at the little things you did
or how she looked at you when you smiled.
she loved you but you loved them.

What if the world spun a different way.
And the stars were black ***** in a white sky.
And the moon came out during the day
or if the sun never shined?
would we wonder if things could be different
the way we wonder as they are now?

If you're there,
could you just let me know
if it ever was meant to happen.

Answer my unanswered question...
don't leave me wondering,
what happened.

Don't leave me hanging,
never able to know.

They say i let it show,
that they can see the pain within me.

They see it in my eyes and my expression

and it's true, I can no longer hide it,
cause the pain is there.

They say
"push harder."
"Keep going."
"You can do it."

I'm not trying to let this happen,
I just want the world to know that.

**I'm here.

Be myself?
so you can judge me, right?
laugh in my face.
tell me i'm doing it wrong?
tell me i'm not living my life right?
but who are you?
who are you to tell me,
who i am?