This memory of us which I do not share
Hold onto beyon depths of all ruts
A moment that felt of sincere
The most secure
About what you mean to me
And remain a place in heart
Honestly didn’t expect , so this memory I’ve never shared revealing my moment of true care for you removing years of doubt I always felt
Everything changed
What was always said, the real meaning of true friendship was no longer just words
But something that I felt and now understood
Cause we always mistook things that weren’t even spoke
Giving us a taste of the sandyhook
Remaining alive , center of the disasterous path it weaved
Leaving speechless on how to rebuild
Attempt to heal things not meant
     Hospital bed, coming to side ; squeezing in as I lean at your chest
Then began a quick rest
You never spoke , not even a sound
Remained still though cramped in that tiny patients waiting bed
Time going by
Still no sign of you even being real
You remain still
I assumed you were in own zone
Don’t know if you felt some wave of what i consumed in something of so many things that were all too real and hard to reveal Cause it had feels
A friendship I never believed
Disregarding your words of expressed care and love that you shared for the bond we built a friendship that be constantly stalled in building up.
I ****** up and thought too much
Made myself think I was Trippen on what I felt
It wasn’t real
Something in Munich head
Cause you weren’t really all there
You were no where near
And silenced vibes no physical motions
Made me feel I was honestly on my own
Just with physical feel cause the owner mind and soul were off seeking some guy and struggling its own mind of so many past nights
I killed my feelings of real and moment of love in the doing at being to my side cause there’s never been such type of cool connection in relating to us .
Exsistent in present time I’ll never know
Nor do I wish an answer to provide clarity of mind
Whatever it be
You there with me and all
Or simply gone out in another realm
Doesn’t matter at the end
Cause was I cherish to the most
And never exposed
Means so much to me
Not even this of what I write can really
Tell how I feel and felt
What change it made
The vibe of friendship once filled of doubt and thoughts of lies
Now washed , given little trace and
Added feels of a bit more to be some home
Knowing the battles we will fight
Won’t diminish our care and love
We will always remain great friends
Even when things are not said
Or if we go dead
But that I added as a last minute joke cause well I don’t do closings to my feels all great and ****
But that’s how you know it’s real
A random close to something meant to be forreal
So swoopesdela- ooomf

You sit and admire
The way she moves
Unlike anything you have seen
How has the creator
Made such a perfect being
Along came the temptations
Forbidden was the word
Do not touch was meditated
How could one resist
Something so pure
Judgement clouded by lust
The Word all but forgotten
Lucifer at his wicked best
This however
Not a devil
Or a snake
But your last mistress
You little cheat

Somehow
I have managed
To forget the weight
All the self doubt
All the self hate
I begin to crumble
You begin to manipulate
Stuck in this cycle
Somehow
Has become my fate

A child i acted, you say as if you knew
But in fact you had no fucken clue
To talk when you weren’t ever near
Never did you get a chance to hear from my side of my own mind
You declared left and right
About my obsession with your ex
Like you knew the thing flowing in my mind
But ya didn’t
Ya didn’t fucken no the thoughts inside
The things I always had flowing my mind
Hunny you’re so heart over mind
That ain’t the care when it comes to who I’m sticking by
See from my side its mind before heart
Only a fool and not to come at you
But only a fool will let the heard lead the mind
That’s just plain wrong
Hunny you gotta let your mind tell your heart
Then you’re really there
The game really is
You fake that your heart leads your mind
In reality your mind leads your heart
It’ll be easier at getting on when you’re aware
But hunny you still ain’t there
And I don’t think you’ll get unstuck from the middle of the path
It’s really fucken sad
You feel sorry for me ?
Oh please
I don’t feel feel that way for me
My mind is leading the path I take
I only wish you’d be able to see it that way
I’m going the opposite way
Suggest you the same
Or you’ll forever hold pain
For the child’s sake
Give y’all a real break
Get the **** away
Stop living in the past life of what once upon a time
This life isn’t a fairytale
Ain’t no happily ever after
What type of lie you been going at inside your head