My words are drying up, one by one by the storm inside
Your words, "I need something different"
"you'll find someone else" added to all the lies
Once promises I'd make a home in
Now I haven't seen the world sober in so long,
Why ask me how I'm doing when breaking up with me
Was losing the right to know whether I'm dead or alive.

You're fiddling with your buttons,
I try to speak but nothing's
gonna help.
You've gotta deal with this yourself.
You're fooling with your jacket zipper
and I can tell you miss her.
I can tell,
and I'll miss you as well.

The earth is moved beneath me,
I'm a world away from you.
The light posts are all crooked
and the road is buckled, too.
You tell me that you're sorry,
but there's nothing I can do.
It's time to move.

Your hands run through your hair,
they tend to do that when you care
about how you sound,
while your mind's running around.
You go to bite your lip
and I can tell that this is it.
You speak so loud
when you hardly move your mouth.

You don't turn to watch me go,
you always act like you don't know
what to expect.
Regardless, it comes next.
My foot taps on the gas,
escaping questions I can't ask.
They interject.
The light ahead only reflects.

The earth is moved beneath me,
I'm a world away from you.
The light posts are all crooked
and the road is buckled, too.
You tell me that you're sorry,
I know there's nothing I can do.
I'm sorry, too.

broken words

the flowing tears
as i write the broken words
they cut like a sword
i am floating away
from who i am
who i was
lost within this paradise
of torn hands and feet
shallow pits in graves
narrow boulders pushed
and shoved and heaved and,
touched.
Not by a simple stroke but instead
a sweeping weapon of justice
for there sits a throne of thorns
blood-stained and cursed with hurt
this isn’t my place to be
i am not meant to heave
so heavily and deeply in this panicked state
my mind is just an endless war
filled with a sea of sorrow
remaining hollow naught for one thing
a yearning dream
to escape these shackles
i am bound to those broken words
my feet etched into the ground
my love crashing like a plate
my will broken and my future stolen

I picked up a blade again today
Needless to say I am not okay.
I'll be better "some day"

But I guess
I can decide to say
I will be better today.

Just because I ***** up
doesn't make me a ***** up.
You are defined by your actions.
But I can decide:
to be defined
by what's left in my stride
before I trip and stumble and fall,
or by what's ahead,
despite it all.

I'll choose the latter
and I'll move on...
I will be strong.

Because I am not as weak
as I seem to think
I am strong
and my God
will hold me in his mighty arm.

I picked up a blade again today.
But I can honestly say
**I am going to be okay.

Relationship statuses can be changed
But the feelings there will stay with you
It says your single but you and I both know
That we are nowhere near finished

You claim you're "So over it"
You're "So over it"?

You're a infected limb and I gotta make a clean cut
But first I need closure
Gotta make a clean cut
Get over it

What's on your mind?
What's on your mind?

I see your heart is damaged
How did you manage to do that to yourself?
It's okay just drown your sorrows
Have another drink

You claim you're "So over it"
You're "So over it"?

You're a infected limb and I gotta make a clean cut
But first I need closure
Gotta make a clean cut
Get over it

Your airing it all out, on everybody's news feed
Embarrassing yourself, it doesn't affect me
What's on your mind?

Your airing it all out, on everybody's news feed
Embarrassing yourself, it doesn't affect me
What's on your mind?

You're "so over it"
What's on your mind?
Get over it

Right now, though nothing is wrong,
I feel as though everything is broken
and continues to break.

There is a constant war,
Between my heart, mind and soul,
Three usual allies,
That have now turned their backs.

At the current point in time,
Words, poetry and I,
No longer have that connection, or love,
We used to share.

It tears me apart,
To even think what I am about to write,
But I truely feel as though,
I am no longer able to write,
Or create art.

I will never abandon this site,
Nor will I ever discard poetry,
It will always have my heart.

Poetry is not a game,
It's an art, a love of words,
But I can no longer compete.

My love, if you die and I don't--,
let's not give grief an even greater field.
No expanse is greater than where we live.

Dust in the wheat, sand in the deserts,
time, wandering water, the vague wind
swept us like sailing seeds.
We might not have found one another in time.

This meadow where we find ourselves,
O little infinity! we give it back.
But Love, this love has not ended:

just as it never had a birth, it has
no death: it is like a long river,
only changing lands, and changing lips.

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.

As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.  

You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.

Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.

Although the last sentence  
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.

Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.

You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book  
Was your favorite story
All along.

oh darling. you never really
wanted to die. you just wanted
to silence the voices in your head, and get rid of the hollowness in your chest. you wanted to **** all the pain you were enduring.
it's quite understandable- everyone understands what it's like to suffer (contrary to your belief,
you're not alone.
suffering is a basic part of human existence).
and sometimes, when you get to be in such a bad place, you're not able to remember anything else. all you can see, all you can think about, all you're surrounded by, is misery and sadness and heartache. and dying seems like the only way out of the endless cycle of negativity.
but emotions are a lot like energy- the kind you learn about science. feelings cannot be created nor destroyed,
only transferred.
so even if you finally gathered the courage to commit suicide, your sadness wouldn't disappear. you'd be passing it down to everyone that loved you, and sometimes even people you barely knew. everyone is affected in some way or another.
and while it seems like there are so many reasons to just die, there are
so many things to live for. the world is a beautiful place- humans just make everything complicated for no reason. but there are so many wondrous things that you have yet to experience. there's an entire universe out there- and if you killed yourself now, you'd never get to explore it.
losing you would not only mean losing your body, your soul, and your presence. it would mean losing all the hopes in dreams stored inside of you- both yours, and your parents' wishes for you. we'd be losing so much of the positive- you are not a negative. you have to understand that.
at least one person loves you, and to them, you're everything.
I need you to live, lovely. for me.