Small triangles of lycra
cover heaven
in this tanned landscape
of flesh

basking like beached seals
under the god sun
worshipped for its power
through the protection of lotions
and creams, keeping
cancerous skin at bay

grains of sand
smashed from rock
innocently hide nature's power
all around

bodies dipped into an ocean
already polluted
by greed and the impurity
of this impossible dream

the tide plays with them
like a cat with a mouse
knowing full well with one pounce
all would perish

the earth tolerates our blindness for now
but before you dip a toe in the water
know this
you will be washed away like the
castles you make, pretending
you have dominion
over this sleeping monster.

I've been listening
to a recording of rain
when I try to fall
asleep


I've been learning
to share the space
on the bed
with myself


to let my dreams occupy
the places made
cool and empty


I fall asleep to rain
and wake up in my own arms -
that will never stop

wanting
to hold me

I am discovering what it means
To be who I am.
Who I am,
Unapologetically.

I am discovering what it means
To feel truly alive
Without the weight of the world
To drown me.

I am discovering the feeling
Of no longer missing those who are gone.
To not feel the burden of longing,
In my bones.

It has been immensely hard to forget.

Their images embedded in me,
I've felt small for a long time.
A long time.

You move on,
But something stays.

Now I am living presently,
And doing something with myself.
And for once,
I am not afraid of missing you.
Any of you.

Your thought has been a terrible burden.
You've made me believe I cannot be happy
Until I find another you.
Or even worse,
That I never will.

Because I was not good enough.

And I will only ever continue to never be good enough,
For anyone I choose to love.
Because that is Who I am
Not Enough.

I must imagine,
Anyone who has experienced a true breakup
Has felt this inferiority within themselves.

But God, I am alive.

With my soul,
I know my purpose is to love.
And to continue to love.

I will remember,
That we all have flaws.
I may not be flawless,
But I am human.

And as every human is,
I am doing my best.
I am working hard, working hard to be a lovely human being,
Despite my flaws.

And so with love in my heart,
A pure will in my soul,
With a dire will to make my mark in life,
I am here. Today.

Unapologetically.

And this love, My love,
Is enough.
For it is all my soul, and all of my passion.
It is my strength, and my breath.
It is my literal life energy, in every cell of my being and it reminds me that I am alive.

This love puts the stars in my sky.
My love makes my world a magical place.

And I know,
I am not alone.

If my love is worth anything,
Then others will be invigorated
By my soul's burning light.
Through love, and generosity.
Patience, and understanding.
Through compromise, and forgiveness.
Others will know of my love.

In life, despite my flaws and my blemishes,
I choose love.
For it is in beautiful, innocent, and pure love that I know.
I am enough.

And I will not be weighed down,
By my past.

I am enough,
Because I chose love.

the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.

On the Fear of Getting Attached to Others, in a world in which we all fear loving too much.

I am Blessed
With an open heart
A freely loving soul
And a beautiful optimism.

I am Blessed.
With a soft light,
A burning flicker,
Quite lantern-like.

When it is dark,
My soul is here.
And it lights my way,
So I feel endeared.

I am Whole.
Because I understand,
I am softened,
Holding out my hand.

You may hold me,
You may leave.
You might not return,
But I won't need.

Because I am here to love.
And I've been blessed.
I have an open heart,
And it beats hard within my chest.

Many say they are cursed,
To love so easily.
But here I am, with a gentle soul,
With more love than I know how to feel.

But love is not need.
Need constricts. Love frees.
If you feel need,
Look inside, to your soul, for me.

Love's freedom my dear, and that's how you'll know,
Your feelings are healthy and good.
When what you want for others is for them to feel free,
You are set, you're loving as you should.

And there is no curse, to this "loving a lot,"
You are blessed with an open heart.
Need is the energy you need to fight,
With a simple joy lighting the spark.

Love is not something for you to hold.
Love is something for you to give.
For it is in giving,
That we multiply our love.

Alone, we are but a flicker of candlelight.
But when we offer our love to others,
We fuel the flickering flame of another soul.
In this, we brighten The Light of the World.

Give
Live
Love
Is it any surprise at all, that these words are so similar.

I left you suspended in the air
as a single thought expelled
from a Southwest flight back from Oregon

Everything is suspended in the air –
the New York woman rushing through her beef sandwich to my left
the woman at the window seat writing
love letters to the woman who will pick her up at the airport

and the way I imagined landing on the same runway as you
back home, realizing sometimes
turbulence remains even after landing

realizing there is a reason we had the same destination
but flew at different times. So much so that
the New York woman next to me could be you
and I her beef sandwich – chewed quietly, regrettably

It's dark

There is the night,
And there is a wolf.

The wolf is fierce,
And angry.
Its teeth glisten,
In the moonlight.

The forest is bare.
Void of leaves,
Of anything green.

It is winter,
So there is snow on the ground.
It is only you,
And the wolf,
In the night.

The wolf is so angry.

There is a river nearby.
The moonlight makes a spectacle
Of the stream flowing away.

You are alone here.
Alone with the wolf.

The wolf continues to growl,
And show its teeth.
It is as if,
Nothing can hear it.
As if no one will acknowledge it.

And so it growls,
And it looks you straight in the eye.
You just look back,
Hopelessly.

If destiny takes me today,
I will go.

The wolf growls for attention.
You are silent.
You are engulfed in your own mind.

You sit with it,
In that dead, cold night.
The wolf, staying fierce and angry,
Finds no resolution.

You are alone.
Your anger will not cease.
Your pain does not dull.
Time feels stopped, and you are there.
Forced to feel, every hurt that you feel.

In the forest,
You find solitude.
It is not okay,
And your anger will never quiet,
So in vain you rest, alone.
In the purgatory of the forest.
That temporary, superficial release.

The wolf never leaves you.
You sit silently beside it,
And watch the stream in the moonlight.
Time stands still.

You fantasize about drowning in the stream.
Then, finally, you may be free from the wolf in your heart.