Denial.
Slips like smooth ice
Into a delicate mind
Freezes over the wound
Numbs the pain
Til it's only dull and
You can forget
Everything that hurts,
Just for a moment
Let's play pretend
Paint a freezeframe
Of grey emotions
It feels better than
Red and blue.

do you know
what it's like
to feel like you're
no longer
know yourself?

do you know
what it's like
to be in such pain
that it keeps you
frozen in place,
silently suffering
with no glimmer
of hope that it will end?

do you know
what it's like
to want
to make it all stop,
even if it causes
everyone that
you love pain?

do you know
what it's like
to find the strength
to put an end
to those thoughts
and keep on going
not because you want to,
but because you have to?

do you know
what it's like
to try and piece
yourself together,
though some
of the pieces to
the puzzle (the mess)
that is you
have gone missing?

and do you know
what it's like
for months
and months
to go by
and feel no change
within yourself?

then
a n  a n g e l

do you know
what it's like
to meet someone
and feel like you've
woken up from
a long and terrible dream?

do you know
what it's like
to be around someone
who understands
everything that
you're feeling?
who understands
what you’ve
been through?

do you know
what it's like
to find a kindred soul
at the height of despair?

and do you know
what it's like
to be reminded
that life is beautiful?
that you are beautiful too?

We are all silhouettes
Wrapped in the tapestry
Of a blooming night
Outlines etched messily
Into a cotton wool sky
Beautifully imperfect
A stray wisp illuminates
Sings sweet like our
Honey bee laughs
We smile, always
Endlessly sunshine yellow
For here we are youth
Wild like dandelions
Rebelling against being
A common flower
We paint the word ****
In shining glitter
Send it to outer space in
A paper airplane
Then dance on crazily
Like the night is infinite
Dreaming for a forever

The cup of coffee sits still on the table

the dark liquid boiling, bubbling

the steam suffocating; filling my lungs.

My hand around its neck;

my nose inhaling the toxicity.

my mouth falling from the sky;

drowning in the ocean.

Dark liquid surrounds my mind;

i have lost it.

My fingers grazing the magma,

an unfazed gaze on the wall

where the sun twirls.

Slowly sinking in the ground,

a late morning; early afternoon.

The cup of coffee sits still on the table

the light liquid freezing, static

the steam condensed; watered-down foam.

They say the moment you get uncomfortable is the moment you are growing,

Awkwardly emerging.

One step closer to proclaiming my truth,

Strip me bare & uncover stained days of my youth.

For once I see the absolute beauty in my suffer,

Finally, I am uncomfortable in my own comfort.

I am adept
In the art of being okay
I have mastered the craft
Of covering my troubles
I use all sorts of fancy facades
Acrylic, oil, watercolor
You name it.

I can paint over nearly anything

You will never know
How late I was up last night
Or why.

My eyes flicker
Like candlelight
But you couldn’t see
You couldn’t possibly see
I’m too good
For that.

I can dance, too
Waltzing away my sorrows
Carefully tip toe-ing the
Pas-de-I-am-fine
I get a standing ovation every time

I’m very talented, you see.

But my all time favorite
Is my disappearing act
I’m still perfecting it
Right now
But one of these days
I’ll show you
How I
Slip
Slip
Slip
Away

Right through your fingers.

She is water

She dance like the waves
Swaying as the wind blows
Soft enough when she's calm
And tough enough when she's mad

She is not a real water
But deep enough to make me drown