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Savanna Paige May 27
...Oh mother of God!
This is for the girl who carries it all.
This is for the broken back broken down girl,
Girl who always said too much but told nothing at all.
Fat girl who ironically always felt small.
When...
At the hands of sick men.

Slick men with quick hands,
That found pleasure in..
Caressing undeveloped breast.

Never stopping to ask if it was ok that he
Takes a piece of me.
Leaving me to be..
Exposed,
While at the same time closed..
Off & I suppose...
F*cking angry!


Watch the full, unfiltered version here...

https://youtu.be/Vp3kWNJe3yA
I have a Lot to say..
But people don’t seem to be much readers these days..
so I have decided to
Create a video for those to view
The full version of my piece,
F*ck Me, NOT!

Here’s the link to the full unfiltered version !
Copy & paste.    https://youtu.be/Vp3kWNJe3yA
I know I am not alone !!
I read a quote somewhere that said,
"I don't know how many times I have survived myself, without telling anyone else."

And I felt those words shoot through every nerve in my body. I felt them so deeply.

And I wonder how many of us feel the same way.

How many nights we fought off the suicidal thoughts, the urge to cut, the urge to purge, the urge to run or to hide out, alone, too afraid to worry or bother our friends and family.

How many days and nights have we all suffered in our own darkness alone?

People like us fight a battle no one can ever fathom because it's a battle no one can see. And we don't let them.

I've fought myself and survived myself alone so many nights.

There were nights I use to lose my own battle. But some how still came out alive.

I guess that's how we keep going. Because every time we give up we come out stronger.

You fight yourself and beat yourself up for so long that eventually you become a master of surviving a war.

We're warriors.

"I don't know how many times I've survived myself, without telling anyone else."

Tonight, I'm telling all of you.

I survived myself.

And if you're still here and you're reading this, you survived yourself too.

It's not easy but you did it.

And I'm so proud of you all.
The original quote "I dont know how many times I survived myself, without telling anyone else.", which triggered the whole poem was written by @deadwatered. A talented poet I follow on tumblr.
  Sep 2018 Savanna Paige
Path Humble
the count starts now (tired of tired)


I read your outcry at 3:00am
posted on Facebook

you are
tired of tired
sick of sick
the only question, will it ever end...

rise this day,  start another way...

count your blessing
count against all odds
for there are more than merely one

use both hands
both hands chested to feel the heart thrusting,
for living is a wondrous blessing unique
an unbelievable to believe than so many beats,
born and borne,
by you, a strength unequaled,
you a richness possessed

count that one first.
count my hands holding your shoulders.
count that as two, one for me, one for you.

more? more.  

mirror.  find the tiny light in each eye against a yellow backdrop.

add two more. for they are a sparking confidence of confirming.

you felt the heart thrumming
go back, feel the breathing warmth breaching forth.
add another. for now known you can never ever be cold.

wash the face, wash away the caution that sleep leaves,
the coverlet of fear that fears you not to dare,
amazing that tap water plain is sacred when it
miracle breaks you out and anoints thy forehead with pure oil like the kings of yore, be a kingly human being.

go out. do not return
until one act of kind is performed and
count that as a thousand blessed, a sum recurring recounted

walk humble and the path will always appear.
walk contented for you can be both king and servant,
there is no difference - you must be both to be the other
one.

and if you still cannot raise the head,
call me.
that would be a blessing for me
and I will hear your blessings sounds mine merge,
dear friend and no more stranger,
that is the simplest definition of our learning to count to
infinity
4:00am I read your cry on facebook
Savanna Paige Aug 2018
They say the moment you get uncomfortable is the moment you are growing,

Awkwardly emerging.

One step closer to proclaiming my truth,

Strip me bare & uncover stained days of my youth.

For once I see the absolute beauty in my suffer,

Finally, I am uncomfortable in my own comfort.
LIVING MY TRUTH OUT LOUD!

— The End —