So often these days, I find it hard not to cry as time passes.
I look at the clock and wonder how far I'll actually make it.
I tell myself "when I move out I'll be happier...
I won't wake up like this anymore."
but at the end of the day I lay in bed filled with fear,
that I won't know how to be anymore.

I'm trying so hard to just keep swimming,
but more often than not, the Orcas visit me.
I'm more so floating, similar to the Velella
I keep going until I can't take anymore,
then end up washed up with the shore.

I'm so tired of your perverted glances.
Every time I see you now, I become so angry
due to there being no consequences.

I try to hold back the tears,
as my phone shines in my face
I cover my eyes with my palms
to try to hide any trace of what slipped away.
I’m so tired of being alone.

My heart aches with too many emotions,
I want to throw them away.
I wish I could do what others say,
and forget these things that fill me with rage.

I look back over
all of our time together,
I see the smiles,
the tears and the laughs.
everything that’s in between
is also special to our past.
The things I’ve wanted to forget,
the things that make my heart skip,
they all mix together
and give me more reasons to love you.