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I'm not good enough I can't do this I have no talent They won't care
  a                                                           ­                                                   I       
m                                    I'm locked inside a cage                                 m 
a                                         that I built myself                                        p   f                                         But I can't get out                                         a  
a                                             I can't escape                                             t
i                                         from my own mind                                      h
l                                                              ­                                                    e
u                                                 Help me                                                 t
r                                                I'm trapped                                             i
e          ­                                                                                                       c
I would never make the diference I'm dumb I can't write I'm done
-Im suffocating here
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
Snapchats, left swipes, number of likes and screen-lit nights
Destroyed by 4 second nudes and the two buttons that make 4 seconds infinite
By searching amazon prime for a suicide prevention kit
By taking one sip too many and ending the night with plenty of tounges down your throat
By Geebs with too much milk, opinions stronger than silk
Both good yet impressionable and easy to lose control
By LED light seeping into the numb soul of the follower searching for love on Google
Destroyed by the vibration of a body-count notification
Destroyed by that first battery-powered rip, desperate for a trip thats not to the therapist
Desperate to feel addiction, the need for need combined with heriditary greed
Addiction lowers suicidal thoughts, craving the next day to take your next shot
Shots of *****, shots of hate, shots at children, all shots are great
We feel alive when we hear about death, we finally appreciate oxygen breath

Destroyed by the friendships lost over hillary vs donald
Waiting for the day we get old, so that we have a say & we’ll look back and realize these are suppossed to be the good old days
The days spent sitting in metal chairs next to the boy with ***-smelling hair
Destroyed by the fear of never being enough because college prep means you are on track
And on track means you’re two steps back
The princible said “cover up” to the girl with the huge rack
Every eye that is layed on you is a personal attack

Behind the scenes of these ******* memes is self deprication and pain that we somehow all relate to
Waiting for the iphone x to come out so that we can feel brand new
Destroyed by depression becoming the media’s new obsession
Destroyed by the inability to jump into a TV screen and live a different life
Destroyed by your ****** up families strife
The ‘correct’ kids words cut like a knife
Destroyed by the fact that there is not enough beer in the world to drown all your fear
About the fact that your stuck in high school for at least another year
This my 2018 adaptation of Allen Ginsberg's poem "Howl"
Puedo escribir los versos mas tristes esta noche.

Escribir, por ejemplo: 'La noche esta estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos.'

El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.

Puedo escribir los versos mas tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella tambien me quiso.

En las noches como esta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La bese tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.

Ella me quiso, a veces yo tambien la queria.
Como no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.

Puedo escribir los versos mas tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.

Oir la noche inmensa, mas inmnesa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocio.

Que importa que mi amor no pudiera guadarla.
La noche esta estrellada y ella no esta conmigo.

Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazon la busca, y ella no esta conmigo.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos arboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuanto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oido.

De otro. Sera de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

Porque en noches como esta la tuve entre mis brazos,
mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Aunque este sea el ultimo dolor que ella me causa,
y estos sean los ultimos versos que yo le escribo.
¿Por qué es difícil la poesía?
Como de un venero brotan,
luego perdidos en demasía,
versos al estanque de descartes,
¡tantos que creo se agotan!
Mas, ¿por qué no gozan
de escaño en la verbal melodía?

Alma que al papel hiere con arte
deja como sello un verso.
Sea eso sólo cierto en parte,
no sé si el folio terso
como el cuero se ha visto curtido,
o es de mi pluma fallo,
cubierta por azafrán de marte,
o soy yo que mi alma he perdido,
pues de lineas queda el papel vestido
y poesía en ellas no hallo.
not finished yet
I create a dream and then lose myself into it.

My whole self.

I create the biggest most soothing dream that I could ever imagine; all of my wants and all of my current needs I put into it.

I invest all of my life energies into the dream and then I crush it.

I really mean that I crush it.

It gets scattered into millions of pieces of stardust and meteorites sprinkled among the mountains and dales of the galaxies and beyond.

Nothing fails as nothing is started. I am nothing. I become nothing and I stay as nothing until a new dream appears and the process is repeated once again. It expands and shrinks as it blinks back at me.

"It is all a big joke August."

I can hear the voices of the gods.

It is all the mystical nature of it all.
I am the Phoenix
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