Dear Mother,
I'm sorry I'm not enough
I'm sorry I'm not smart enough
Not pretty enough
Not talented enough
I'm sorry I'm not graceful
I'm sorry I'm sensitive
I'm sorry I'm not
The daughter you wanted

Dear Father,
I'm sorry I'm not enough
I'm sorry I'm not a boy
Not a basketball star
Not top of the class
Not strong enough
I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry I'm not a genius
I'm sorry I'm not
The child you wanted

Dear Sister,
I'm sorry I'm sad sometimes
I'm sorry I'm not the ideal big sister
Not very pretty
Not silly enough
Not open enough
I'm sorry you got stuck with me
I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry I'm not
The sister you wanted

Dear Neighbor,
I'm sorry I'm annoying
I'm sorry I'm not social enough
Not doing what you're doing
Not easily excited
Not happy enough
I'm sorry I'm the only one your age
I'm sorry I'm not athletic enough
I'm sorry I'm not
The neighbor you wanted

Dear Family,
You don't care
But I'm sorry
I'm not enough

Dear Friends,
You don't exist
But I'm sorry
I will never be enough

Dear world,
I'm sorry
I wasn't enough

So I'm leaving
*Goodbye

As the rain fell
ripples formed
inside my heart
tickling my emotions

A smell of freshness
protruded my senses
carrying my mind
to a land of peace

like tears of laughter
drops cleanse my soul
in a dream like state
gravity has vanished

hydrated again
my thirst is gone
my spirit awakens
and my wings take flight

By E.Rushton

"Why don't you write something happy?"
Because it'd be a lie.
So no I won't write something happy,
not while I want to die.
Poetry isn't something choose,
it isn't just a skill that I use,
I can't make it stop, it's not my choice,
they're not my ideas, they're just in my voice.

Always
Be
Careful
Don't
Ever
Fall from
Great
Heights
It
Just might
Kill you
Literally
Make
No mistakes
Only smile
Please, it's
Quite hard in
Reality but
So easy
To say
Usually people
Very quickly
Withdraw
X** marks the spot
You'll see, they'll soon just sleep
Zzzzz

I swear
This guilt
Will be
What kills me

Here I am
My life is good
I should be happy
Or at least not
Whatever this is

I should not be sad
I have such support

There are so many
Who have it worse
Who am I
To feel this way?

This guilt
Will be
What kills me

You'll see

Look into my eyes
What is it that you see?
Do you see inside the pain within?
Can you hear my screams of loneliness
Crying for your soul as I claw at my mind?
The darkness inside, can't you notice
How it swallows me whole
Only to consume what little strength I have?
I'm crippling, I'm fading, I'm nothing.
Perhaps you do not see these pleas.
You only see my plastered smile
And hear my cheery, soft voice.
"Everything is great," I lied.
"I'm dying on the inside, help me." I hide.

Am I okay?

I cry every night,
And can't breathe most days.

I sometimes want to die,
And feel buried by all the lies.

I have a broken heart,
And trust issues.

But also,

I smile at the little things,
And laugh for no reason.

I have hope in my heart,
And light in my eyes.

I am getting stronger,
And I will keep trying.

So:
Am I okay?
No.

Will I be okay?
**Yes

I've got a box of secrets,
That I've hidden away,
Safe and sound

Most are mine,
Some are yours,
As well as,
A few of others.

I trusted you,
With my box of secrets,
And you tipped it over.

All my secrets
Spilled right out
For all the world to see.

By the time I,
Had cleaned them all up,
You were long gone.

But I want you to know,
That if you spill my secrets again,
I will clean up mine
But leave yours lying in the dust.