I lie awake remembering, wishing I could sleep to forget.

I'm not stable enough for love
I'm not kind enough for love
I'm not worthy enough for love
I'm not ready for love
Lord please save me
I don't feel human
I don't have strength
I don't belong
I don't want to live
I'm nothing but depressed
A lost case
A piece of work
A damaged ex
Will I ever turn my life around?
And see the world differently?
Like it's meant to be
Like I have a destiny
Like anyone wants me
To be here

I have kissed boys

Girls

People in between

But lately I have been kissing bottles

Their lips are colder than yours

But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest

Yet as these toxins rush through my veins

I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin

Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me

But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin

While heartache

Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know

Every sip I take
Every bad choice I make
Nothing makes me forget
That every single time
..
I break

I am forgetting about you..
Your smile has gone away..
No longer written on your face for me to see everyday..
Its getting easier for me day to day..

I am forgetting about you..
Saved memories emerge from time to time..
They are full of colors of you and are easy to find..
But are fading away to darkness as if I were blind..

I am forgetting about you..
No more haunting smiles in dreams..
No more deep brown angelic eyes that made my soul scream..
Because I couldn't have you in my arms under the sunbeams..

I am forgetting about you..
That part of me is dying..
That part of me walked under the moonlight and was crying..
But there you were in the clear night sky simply shining..

I wonder if I will forget about you..
I think that part of me will not die..
I think that part of me will stay alive..
Nothing left for me but endless goodbyes..

Still water
resting
at the
bottom
of a
Pacific ocean
tide
pool,

reflections
of you
in my
mind
in the
Sunday
morning
light.

sometimes
I can imagine
I hear you
laughter
carried in
harmony
to me
on a
a salt-kissed
circling
wind.

and I
sit for
a moment
and smile.

I always
smile.

it is
a giving
thing that
you do.

your gentle
manner
of truth
and innocence.

I can always
feel it
there in
you eyes...

you are


where
good  poets
go to
die.

you are that moon
which no eclipse can hide...