two beers away from empty, I'm nearing closer to the end of my creativity
and the lights outside are dimming

is there something they're trying to tell me?
such a subtle message, I'm not sure I fully grasp it

how many moons have cycled since I got here?
I'm not really sure what time I'll be leaving

the lights within the sky are being fought with
and the city seems to unfairly be winning

I'm not aware of when I started here
but I can see the dull moon slyly grinning

Whenever I must add new people to my life,
I feel that it is my duty to be my most likable version,
And because of that, I wear makeup, straighten my hair,
And lose myself in aesthetic immersion.

I feel better when I feel pretty,
And that breaks my heart.
I never thought my happiness,
Was such a simple and vain art.

All the double edged people and schemes,
they make a mess then go home and get clean.

I'm not haunted by horrifying nightmares
I'm reminded of eerie memories that whisper in my sleep

I'm not driven mad by screaming voices in my head
I'm stalked by vivid images that corrupt my past

I'm not demented by the will to die
I'm torn apart by the death of my spirit

I'm not insane
I'm broken

What it feels like to od

Your mind is screaming, fingers fumbling
You poor down the pills
Throat burning, but all you can think about is pooring down more

***** covers your body
Everything shaking, spinning, darking

You lose focus on everything but the white, red, and blue pills
almost patriotic

The ***** dosen't stop
you try to keep it down, but it burns it way up and out
Soon whole pills come up
this just makes you more determined to swallow more

You just want it to end, no  matter the pain
Hearing gunshots out your window, wishing it was you

Layng there, weak, covered in your own *****
then suddenly dog barking EMTs running through the house shining a Flash light in your face,
Screaming "what did you take!"
blank stare, mind too foggy
again "what did you take!"

mind reeling, stomach lurching, vomiting
screaming again
"Into the bag. ***** into to the bag, we need to analize it"

****** into and amulance
you're too young, you're too young, you're too...
**black out

She said, I just want to see you.
He said, That can not be for this life of truckin is the only way for me.
She said, I just want to hold you.
He said, The life of a truck driver is all I'll be.
She said, You know I miss you.
He said, You know I can't come home for this life of truckin is all I know.
She said, I'll wait for you until you're ready for me.
He said, The road in front of me is all I see!!