If I could describe myself then I would be a star
i want to glow up everyones day
I want to shine bright
And I try to put a smile on your face
Oh and  how I try with all my might

I want to be the person that people need
Something they can wish on
I mean thats the only reason why I’m still here
R
I
G
H
T
?


I mean as much as I hate to admit it sometimes
Its hard to be a star
After all
I have to die over and over again
Explode
Die
Again and again
To give you what you want
I must become brand new

But don’t worry , I promise that I
That we
That she
Will still do anything for you

I have moved in on your front lawn and called it home.

You let me stay, climb in my tent, and spend nights in my arms, the world outside muted by the glow of where our skin touches.

I don’t need anything from you, capable of standing on my own two feet, carving out my own curve of the world, but I want you, hope for you, long for you, think of you.

You need someone to stand, balanced and still, a beam holding up your house. But me, the individual?

Your want seems so much less than mine, but then Anhedonia holds you too close. You don’t want anything, not even yourself.

If I could pry her fingers loose, if I could fight your war, but I’m incapable, can only stand outside offering what I am to you.

My feet bleed from walking barefoot down your road, and I know that even if you decide to love me, so much worse is yet to come. But I can’t turn away, when you feel just like—

My half of the world's fast asleep
Both hands stretch to twelve in a reach
And as their minds fill with dreams,
I fill paper
With the spilling of my blood and ink

© JL Smith