The young lady sits, mascara running
As she gazes into her cup of tea.
Alone in the woods,
Resting upon an old and forgotten arm chair

She thinks of her place in the world,
Of the horrors that it is plagued with.
Dreaming of a better day
Without the hate and despair

She knows it will never come,
And so do the grey winged butterflies
That flutter by. But they don’t care
So long as they can fly.
---

The barren trees, roots topped with dirt,
Watch over their little girl.
They cannot see, but they feel her presence;
The weight of her black buckled shoe upon the soil.

Unable to think, they do not see the world
In the black and white way of her striped leggings,
They know nothing of the wars and violence,
Only of their precious child.

Here they sway from side to side.
Father and son, hand in hand.
That poor little girl
Who never stood a chance.

For boy, as you know,
Daddy had a thing for those
Of innocence and very few years.

Yet you watched from the shadows,
As your old man went on,
He didn’t know that you were there.
Why didn’t she scream?

You couldn’t believe the scene,
He is not the one you know
Today he had betrayed your soul.

But you would run if you could,
He blocks the door,
Of this old and abandoned shell of a barn.

Close your eyes boy, but the ears won’t relent,
Just look away and pretend you don’t see
Their silhouettes clinging to the walls.
Now you can never be free

You know the century is early, the laws unevolved
They say what you have seen has left your soul unclean.
They know she was your friend, so now they’ll understand.

This wasn’t your fault, you didn’t make it be
You know your father is to blame, he who hath sinned.
Unleashing evil in its purest form.

But that’s not what they’ll say
When they condemn you two to fate.
As from behind the crate you step,
“Father it is time to flee.”

You know his darkness, yet with him you must go
For life on the run alone, you cannot survive.
You strive for your freedom, with your demon at your side.

You travel the miles, yet with him you will never speak,
Because of him, your childhood is gone.
And even worse is the loss of her’s.

Together you last for many a day
But in the end you’ll never get away.
For it is now the third day of the second week.

You know you are caught, yet with him you’ll still not speak
As the cavalry rides up, and they take you away.
Back to the village where it all began.

The trial is short, the girl revealed all,
as before you were ever found, you were both deemed guilty
And tonight you shall hang, along with your old man.

So here they sway from side to side.
Father and son, hand in hand.
That poor little girl
Who never stood a chance.

The smile that haunts me deeply
and follows me everywhere I go
The faded memory that is with me
and remains unforgiven.
This gentle touch that transcends the years
and keeps m always on my toes
This warming scent of cologne that sends a chill
and brings forth the image.
They say time has passed us by
and that I need to catch up with it all
They don’t see what it has done
and wonder who is has built me up to be.
Tonight I’ll stay home with the door ajar
and try to cope with this pain of mine
Tonight I’ll go out to grab a pint
and bury it deep inside.
There will not be a way to go back
and prevent it from ever having happened
There is nothing to be done
and this is how the world goes on.
Then I will live this numbing life
and walk with him always at my side
Then I shall stride with purpose
and overthrow the difficulties.
The smile that haunts me deeply shall
hold me true as it learns to let me go
The faded memory that is with me shall
keep me pure as it begins to be forgiven.

Emmett Smith (1921-2012)

The merry-go-round is a thing of joy
Where kids can play in endless revolution.
They laugh and yell and don’t realize that their entertainment
Is from one another and not the rusted metal.

I remember when back in the day,
I would sit and spin wishing to feel the thrill.
This welded contraption has no amusing aura,
Not when there is no one to join.

Round and round and round again,
Spinning around with no end.
I lay here alone while the others play tag,
Tag she is it, now it is he, though I go nowhere it is never me.

To this day there is no change,
Wandering these halls I pass them bye,
The same **** kids who take no notice
But today is the day, they will all see.

I’ll make the headlines that I’ll never see,
Front page news across the country.
They will have no choice but to see me now,
My face the last to cross their minds.

The last chance has passed and she has left me lost and alone.
The driver sped through the light that he failed to see
through his high powered beer goggles.

The rest of the world runs on the same,
No one the wiser, no one to feel my pain.
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

I’m out of tears, no more grief, the time has passed.
Tonight I am slipping away without my anchor to
Tether me to this world.

It is time to end the suffering, stop the waiting.
I cannot accept that there will ever be another
As I fall to pieces; the lord caves his jigsaw into me.

Returning home from the night’s adventure.
Winding down from the rush of excitement,
We were too tired; too tired.
the corner was there before the steering wheel.
The crash, the sudden quiet.

Moaning is heard as
The blood seeped into the cracked roadway.
Amongst the twisted metal and shards of glass, our light fades.
Crying and waiting until we left our bodies.
Then we were gone, but we watched

as the silence was broken and
the sirens blared

We rose…. Leaving the destruction,
the heat of the flames,
the smell of burning fuel,
the whining of a dying radio.

We are with the others now
encased in the shadows.
Light and airy spirits, sometimes we are heard laughing.
We wait in our clusters,
waiting to greet anyone
who might happen to join us here.

We are finally happy
Within the confines of eternity; in death.

Now the quiet peace,
We are together now,
Perhaps you’ll join us.

Life moves on
and things become too real.
A wife. Kids. Career.
It’s too much, I want to run away.

Everything has changed with
my position in the world.
I’ve never fit in
Always the freak who knows no limits,
the one who sits alone and minds his own.

Never understood, never accepted.
Now a husband, a dad, still the same.
Always covering up myself; hiding
behind wit and cruelty.

A shield to disappear into,
Afraid to be me; to send up alone.
I used to know who I was but
now I’m not so sure.

It seems I have my life sorted out,
but am I really happy?

A question I always find myself asking
but can never answer.
I don’t think anyone knows the meaning of happiness,
or if it really exists.

Tonight I found myself holding her close,
and as I rested my head on her chest,
I quietly try not to cry.

It’s hard sometimes to keep it all in,
to hold strong so as not to lose myself,
it’s why I write as I do.

An outlet through a pen is all I have,
only the page wont judge,
won’t declare me a freak,
won’t know that something is wrong with me.

The thoughts I have,
my inability to empathize with other’s pain and loss.
It makes me wonder if I’m right for this world.

I’ve been to two funerals,
one I barely knew, the other I held dear.
And lost a grandfather who meant everything,
yet I never shed a tear.

I used to think that it was because I am strong,
but now maybe that isn’t so.

Who am I really?
I think I need to know.