Tie her down and strike her
once, twice, thrice.
The pain is not her own,
leave her defenseless.

She gave up her freedom
when she stepped through the door,
So quick she was to lie on the bed,
yet the situation, she misread.

She struggles and moans
through a washing of crimson tears,
Yet would her release be allowed,
she would not go, it is not her wish.

In life she had sinned
and sealed her fate,
For eternity she shall remain,
as for her, it is too late.

This one, signed as myself and not my pen name, is a new step for me, I've never really put myself into my work, but this one is all me. Thus, it is called:
.

BARED SOUL

Life moves on
and things become too real.
A wife. Kids. Career.
It’s too much, I want to run away.

Everything has changed with
my position in the world.
I’ve never fit in
Always the freak who knows no limits,
the one who sits alone and minds his own.

Never understood, never accepted.
Now a husband, a dad, still the same.
Always covering up myself; hiding
behind wit and cruelty.

A shield to disappear into,
Afraid to be me; to send up alone.
I used to know who I was but
now I’m not so sure.

It seems I have my life sorted out,
but am I really happy?

A question I always find myself asking
but can never answer.
I don’t think anyone knows the meaning of happiness,
or if it really exists.

Tonight I found myself holding her close,
and as I rested my head on her chest,
I quietly try not to cry.

It’s hard sometimes to keep it all in,
to hold strong so as not to lose myself,
it’s why I write as I do.

An outlet through a pen is all I have,
only the page wont judge,
won’t declare me a freak,
won’t know that something is wrong with me.

The thoughts I have,
my inability to empathize with other’s pain and loss.
It makes me wonder if I’m right for this world.

I’ve been to two funerals,
one I barely knew, the other I held dear.
And lost a grandfather who meant everything,
yet I never shed a tear.

I used to think that it was because I am strong,
but now maybe that isn’t so.

Who am I really?
I think I need to know.

To where shall we travel in this
dark and desolate world?

We could travel to the top of
the pyramids built by slaves.

We could travel to the wall,
that took the lives of many.

We could travel to the land in which
many died because of their "flawed" ways.

Or we could just stay here in this land
stolen from the natives before.

Now I ask you again,
as it is completely up to you.

To where shall we travel in this
dark and desolate world?

The moth flies in circles,
Forever distracted by the light.

Surely it must be the moon,
Telling it where to go.

Yet as long as it remains on,
The moth shall never escape.

For it is in the moth's nature
to always follow the light.

Until the time comes
that the moth is not but ash.

A Word

            There you are
                Sitting so peacefully,
                    Typing away at your keyboard.

            I'm gazing upon your beauty,
                Wishing for more.
                    Will you notice me?

            "Come look at this."
                You say to me, so I walk on over to see,
                    A video and nothing more.

A Sentence

            We meet again; months have passed as
                We look around this new class.
                    It is with recognition that we sit together.

            Day after day, week after week,
                We listen, we chat, we study and test.
                    Together we learn what this man has to teach.

          
A Paragraph

            Help, you're in need of
                A babysitter with no time to wait.
                    "Can you help me?"

            I'm here for you, happy to help!
                Time and again, I'll watch her for you.
                    Such a delight, she shows me the light.

            Our friendship grows with each passing day
                A coffee, a visit, a walk, a lunch break,
                    Our bond grows stronger as time passes us by.

A Page

            The child already knew,
                Long before either of us.
                    Until a friend asks and we're together at last

            No longer hiding it from ourselves,
                We begin to move forward as
                    Hand in hand, we tackle this world.

            We run, we play, we date, we love.
                With smiles and tears, and hugs and kisses,
                    With texting at night, and calling all day.
            
            Soon we find our own way, an apartment just for us,
                We've a family to raise, and experiences to make as
                    Our numbers grow with a baby on the way.

A Chapter

            Sickness befalls you, this pregnancy is hard,
                But I'll care for you as we fight for our child and
                    Together we will make it through.

            Every day that I watch you lying in bed
                I am wishing I could take this pain from you
                    But all I can do is stand by and try to help.

            So many hospital visits, so many needles,
                Until the day we have been striving for arrives.
                    Today our son will join us in the light.

            He has left you so weak, you can barely stand.
                As you recover, time goes on and our love grows stronger
                    Until, sure in my decision, I buy the ring.

An Epic
            A picnic in peace among the trees.
                A question I ask, your eyes full of joy
                    A tackle more than a hug, yes of course you will.
            
            We tell the littles, the excitement grows and
                We begin to plan, how will it go?
                    Hurry not, we have time to decide

            A quiet ceremony to follow,
                A Monday dressed in purple
                    I do, and so do you.

            Smiles and love from all around us,
                We feel it in our hearts, we're on the right track
                    It is time to move forward, no looking back.
                    

A Novel

            We find a bigger home and are
                Settled at last, our rhythm restored,
                    We live happily for awhile until...

            A rumble, a quake,
                Our world begins to shake,
                    Filling with judgement, blame, anger and hate

            We begin to fight, to dissipate.
                We heal and break, time after time.
                    We're both wearing thin.

            Do we stay together?
                Do we put up a fight?
                    Do we make the call, will it be alright?

            
            Looking for a resolution
                We tried to make it work but
                    Every attempt only made it worse,
                    

An Ending

            I have given up, I've let go of hope.
                I have stopped the clock, it ticks no more.
                    We couldn't keep it up, we've broken down.

            Although your tears hurt me,
                They do not persuade
                    And it is with a heavy heart that I walk away.

An Epilogue

            I've moved out, we have gone our ways.
                But I am not gone, my kids shall not be without.
                    Yet come today, I find there's no going back

            We've fought our fights and talked our talks,
                We'll find our new rhythm and learn to coexist,
                    But we both know that things will never be the same.

            Our past is what makes us, we would never undo it
                Now at a distance we stand, no longer hand in hand
                    As we gaze over the horizon and look to the future.

Her hair is red on a cotton dress of blue
Her voice has that spice that makes me a fool
But the hair is falling, the dress now a gown
The honey ***'s gone shallow, you're leaving town
Shadows have overcome, the sky's begun to pout
We have come to learn that you are on your way out
My world begins to shake, the walls continue to crumble
Once again on your feet, you begin to stumble
Your eyes stil sparkle, your lips quiver
You cannot be saved from what's within your liver
You once said to me "Don't cry when I flee"
If I do not, what will that make of me?
The years we have walked; the miles we traveled
The laughs we talked; the secrets kept raveled
I wish to carry you away from the light
Take your hand and help you win this fight
A turn for the worst was the doctor's vote
The memory of you I shall forever tote
The hair is on the floor, the dress hung out to dry
Buy tell me my darling, why must you die?

With locks the color of a raven she kneels,
To place before me a life lost.

For this is my realm
where I hold true,
to the life devoid of light.

And she is but one of many,
a servant like the rest.
Now she kneels where few have knelt before.

She lifts her head to meet my gaze,
and though it was in defiance, I cannot help but falter.

The loss in her eyes is that of the others,
yet into my soul her gaze has burrowed.

One has long since been lost to reside in this place,
some more so than others.

And though I know her name not,
nor her story have I heard,

I cannot look away as a single tear falls
and lands upon the life lost,

To land upon that Ebony Rose.

They say the end is near
An empty prediction
Nay, an estimation.

Media man spreads the word
Like an unforgiving pestilence;
Fan the flames a little more.

Did you hear the news?
Of course you did,
It’s embedded in our mind.

The sirens blare
Our panic will have to wait
Time now for our commercial break.

…

Tell me a story, Grandpa
Of a time before the screen
I’ll listen here upon your knee.

A time with hope; peace of mind
Before we knew too much
We were never meant to hold such empathy.

Where man was free
Of distant tragedy, when
Smiling wasn’t such a rarity.

…

Let us interrupt this tale
Welcome back to reality
Now tell us all that
Tomorrow may never come.

Say it again the day after next
The one after that and more.
We will remain with vigilance
Eventually you’ll be right.

At least for now,
We have our memories.

too FAT too SHORT too WITHDRAWN
too THIN too DUMB too SMART
too OLD too WEAK too GOTH
too QUEER too PARANOID too PREPPY

they judge, they mock, they laugh, they jest.
a game they play, all fun and games.
Who cares what they say, why should i listen
the taunts of the others, out for their own.

I don't care, I refuse to see
They will never get to me.. and yet..

Tune it out, look away, doesn't make it end.
no harm intended, death resulted.

Their words have no conviction, no meaning.
This I know, this I believe, but then tell me why..

Why I cannot stop reading the writing on the walls?

too TALL too GROSS too UGLY
too NERDY too SMELLY too CREEPY
too SLOW too HYPER too SENSITIVE

They point, they mock, they regret, they don't care.
Today, tomorrow, last night and before.
They vandalize the air with words they don't intend.

I don't care, I refuse to see
They will never get to me.. and yet..

I walk away, talk to me back
Put you behind me, i cannot hear.

Your words are mute, they matter not.
This I know, this I believe, but then tell me why..

Why I cannot stop reading the writing on the walls?
And why don't they put down the pen?

Too cruel Too harsh Too unprovoked
Too Jealous Too abused Too angry
Too Beaten Too unheard Too unloved

They've been there, they try to cope.
Lashing out instead of lashing in.
Fighting for the chance they never got.

This I know, this I believe.
I don't care, I refuse to see
They will never get to me... and yet..

Tell me why, even knowing this,
why can I not stop reading the writing on the walls?

The blazing sun beating down,
snowing no mercy.

The hills of sand hot to the touch,
no end in sight.

The cacti surrounding, growing stronger,
fairing much better than I.

The life within me growing faint
as I lay here dying, baking within,

The water in my canteen long since gone.
much like the moisture in me.

The end is here, my days are done,
this desert has brought me
sweet relief.

Balance
The universe thrives
Exists

A scale level
On the mountain peak
Tip it one way
Reality shatters.

The light and dark
The ups and downs
We cut so someone can heal

America sleeps
China wakes
The sun gives way to the moon

Heartbeats stop
Babies are born
Our tears in the face of their joy

Without out demons
An Angel's wings are never earned
So we balance.

Life moves on
and things become too real.
A wife. Kids. Career.
It’s too much, I want to run away.

Everything has changed with
my position in the world.
I’ve never fit in
Always the freak who knows no limits,
the one who sits alone and minds his own.

Never understood, never accepted.
Now a husband, a dad, still the same.
Always covering up myself; hiding
behind wit and cruelty.

A shield to disappear into,
Afraid to be me; to send up alone.
I used to know who I was but
now I’m not so sure.

It seems I have my life sorted out,
but am I really happy?

A question I always find myself asking
but can never answer.
I don’t think anyone knows the meaning of happiness,
or if it really exists.

Tonight I found myself holding her close,
and as I rested my head on her chest,
I quietly try not to cry.

It’s hard sometimes to keep it all in,
to hold strong so as not to lose myself,
it’s why I write as I do.

An outlet through a pen is all I have,
only the page wont judge,
won’t declare me a freak,
won’t know that something is wrong with me.

The thoughts I have,
my inability to empathize with other’s pain and loss.
It makes me wonder if I’m right for this world.

I’ve been to two funerals,
one I barely knew, the other I held dear.
And lost a grandfather who meant everything,
yet I never shed a tear.

I used to think that it was because I am strong,
but now maybe that isn’t so.

Who am I really?
I think I need to know.

The darkest of skies
bring forth creatures of
inhumanity. From us they feed,
terror, sorrow, misery.

With their bottomless pits
that straddle the nose,
drawing us out, drinking us in. The
enchantment unbreakable.

Control is theirs alone, yes
they know. They hold the chips,
deciding out fates.
So we hide.

Yet from the screech of death
we cannot escape.
The sealing of ears does not suffice,
the horror penetrates the thickest of barriers.
Cowering, we wait

and watch the shadows
of these wingéd frights,
circling overhead in the hunt
to feed. Searching carefully
for a meal; for us. Until finally

the darkest of skies begin to lighten. The
damnedest of beings flee to their shelters,
fearing for their lives. And

should the young wake and see,
these creatures of death, would be to end
the airborne demons.

Fore it is the innocence of a child so small,
that they dare not corrupt.

Here I kneel at the river's edge,
Gazing out at the life beyond the tear in my eye.

I can still see you sitting next to me by our log,
years ago when we shared our first picnic.

I'm remembering the way we used to run through these trees
and swim through those currents,

the scent of your jasmine perfume
following us wherever we go.

I can almost smell it now as I hang my head
and lay this bouquet upon your tear soaked resting place.

You want me to be me,
but the me you envision.
After all you're always right.
...
I maintain my own balance with the world,
but again my imperfections are brought to light.
Unsurprisingly I let you down,
Not because I refuse, but because I cannot fight.
I am not allowed to be me.
...
You expect me to be more. Everything at once.
To take care of my self, others left unattended.
To maintain the enviroment, other aspects let down.
I'm slow, I don't understand, I run out of time. Doesn't matter.
...
You miss the attention, the dedication, that I used to give.
You want the little things, the gifts, the cuddles, the affection.
I with to provide, but often cannot, the hell if I know why.
...
I've come to live in fear.
Reluctant to return home from work
Not wanting us left alone.
...
The easy seperation isn't an option, too many depend on us.
I don't want that. I never would have started if I wanted an end.
But I don't know how to heal. Or if we can.
...
Always on the negative, never the positive.
Providing motivation out of fear not desire.
Meanwhile I'm dying inside.
...
I've had to learn to resist depression
and to repress who I am.
I've given up dreams of a future
and am left to see what happens.
...
So much sacrifice that cannot be undone,
starting to wonder what I gave it up for.

A cloak of shadows worn,
A mask to cover all emotion,
to hide one's true self.

No one must know.
No one will know.

We are destined to live a life unseen.

Here they sway from side to side.
Father and son, hand in hand.
That poor little girl
Who never stood a chance.

For boy, as you know,
Daddy had a thing for those
Of innocence and very few years.

Yet you watched from the shadows,
As your old man went on,
He didn’t know that you were there.
Why didn’t she scream?

You couldn’t believe the scene,
He is not the one you know
Today he had betrayed your soul.

But you would run if you could,
He blocks the door,
Of this old and abandoned shell of a barn.

Close your eyes boy, but the ears won’t relent,
Just look away and pretend you don’t see
Their silhouettes clinging to the walls.
Now you can never be free

You know the century is early, the laws unevolved
They say what you have seen has left your soul unclean.
They know she was your friend, so now they’ll understand.

This wasn’t your fault, you didn’t make it be
You know your father is to blame, he who hath sinned.
Unleashing evil in its purest form.

But that’s not what they’ll say
When they condemn you two to fate.
As from behind the crate you step,
“Father it is time to flee.”

You know his darkness, yet with him you must go
For life on the run alone, you cannot survive.
You strive for your freedom, with your demon at your side.

You travel the miles, yet with him you will never speak,
Because of him, your childhood is gone.
And even worse is the loss of her’s.

Together you last for many a day
But in the end you’ll never get away.
For it is now the third day of the second week.

You know you are caught, yet with him you’ll still not speak
As the cavalry rides up, and they take you away.
Back to the village where it all began.

The trial is short, the girl revealed all,
as before you were ever found, you were both deemed guilty
And tonight you shall hang, along with your old man.

So here they sway from side to side.
Father and son, hand in hand.
That poor little girl
Who never stood a chance.

Whispering Shadows
Looming behind every corner,
Deadly Creatures
Waiting within.

Rivers of Blood
Flowing across wooden floors,
Forgotten Memories
Coming near.

Radiating Darkness
You are it's source.
Deadly Wishes
Seeking escape.

Excruciating Pain
Maintaining your sanity,
While Damning Forces
Battle within

Little Agnes sits alone hugging beloved teddy tight.
The lights have gone, the sun long since fallen.
The sickly odors fill the room.

Creaking floorboards, the foundation settles,
the howling wind and tapping branches.
A shudder deep traces her spine.

Mommy had gone away again. Off to work she claims.
Agnes knows the truth, one she mustn't share.
She knows more than she ought, costing precious sleep.

The minutes drag on, each an hour long
whispers of her mind growing stronger.
The words have formed, now to invoke.

Majka živi, ​​majka saznaje.
Ovo je igra koju neću igrati.

Round and round, Agnes chants.
Again and again the words repeat.
Echos shake the walls; rattle her soul.

Precious child, corrupted now.
Mr. Teddy begins to grow.

Eyes glow crimson, fangs sharpened.
Ears pull back as rumble becomes growl
Teddy will keep her safe, at the peril of those who would disagree.

The door **** turns, creaking hinges
announcing mommy's return.
She calls for little Agnes, summoning to her side.

Tonight Agnes does not respond, does not come.
Holler again to no avail, mommy begins to search.

Down the hallway, second on the right.
Reach for the handle that meets with mommy's hip
as the door bursts to splinters.

Mr. Teddy is on duty, mommy screams amidst the fangs and claws
ripping at the flesh.
Pain and terror overcome as she gazes past her demise, little Agnes sitting there with her baby blue eyes.
The last she will ever see as darkness overcomes.
The pain fades, the sounds lost, farther and farther into eternal night.
Mommy breaths no more.

Still Agnes sits, watching her guardian shrink back down.
His eyes dull, fangs recede,
Growl returns to rumble and fades altogether.
His job complete.

Slowly standing, precious Agnes crosses to the door.
She kneels next to mommy and pulls beloved teddy from her chest.
Back to the bed, holding teddy tight.
Agnes breathes a sigh of relief and calmly falls asleep.

Through the cracks in the soil you grow,
with barely enough rain found to sustain your fragility.

With nothing to protect you but your thorns,
meant to draw the darkest of blood.

Yet you grow by moonlight, the sun too bright
to allow you to retain your petals so deep.

And here you waiting for that soul as lonely as you,
so as to find appreciation in one who understands.

You shall stay with this one until that day,
The day the petals wilt.

The clock strikes midnight, the echoing chime spanning the wooden acres. Once, twice, thrice it takes her heart and carries the rhythm with it. Wandering alone for such a time has taken a hold on her mind.
.
In these enchanted woods she cannot find freedom,
Freedom that she does not know she has lost…
She is not alone, she is not the first,
Yet the others, she will not meet.

Left to wonder
Who am I?
Where am I?
What does it matter?
Why does this seem like home?

The forest is a prison for all who dared to love a man so dark. Time after time he shows the world that

Love is a weakness
That makes us sway
To and from, disregarding logic and why.
It goes as deep, coming from the soul,
Existing so as to ruin us all.

It is due to her weakness that she finds herself incarcerated among the spruce so vast that

Between the trunks
She can see for miles in every direction,
Row after row, acre past acre,
Yet an end in sight, there is not.

From time to time she swears she can see
The figure of another soul ever so lost as she.
Yet like the rainbows that avoid this land,
These shadows cannot be reached.

…

Thinking back to that fateful night, where he held her in his arm’s caress,

His fingers trailing up and down her side,
A touch so light she cannot help but to shudder.
He slides his arm up ever so slowly, over her *******
and onto her neck, gently applying more and more pressure.
Her will to fight is gone, as her legs begin to flail, shaking the bed as they do.
Blackness ensues and does not return until she wakes, perched against the spruce’s bark.

She no longer dreams, no longer sleeps, the woods keep her awake. Forever she wanders looking for the exit, or maybe for the source of the chimes that ring every night. She will never find it, she is destined to spend eternity wandering these woods alone, such is the effect of being trapped by a heart so strong.

Reaching for a light
that cannot be had,
For it is but a mirage
hanging in the Blackness.

She dreams of a new way
to live the life she has forgotten,
Hoping to be released from
a life not worth remembering.

But a life of immortality
does not come with that choice.
A life without death is empty,
there's nothing to value when there is nothing to lose.

She is free to live her life
anyway she shall choose,
Yet she will spend eternity
reaching for that light.

Hate and spite
Horror and death
Shadow and misery
They think they know me.

Thievery and misguidance
A cigarette for cancer
Creature from the dark
Best to cross the street
As they judge me from afar.

Try to approach and you may find
That there is more to the scene
More than they cared to see

Take off the mask; unveil the truth
A soul lost on this plane, outcasted.
Thrice bitten, forever burned.
Learned not to expect, never to trust.

A spirit to befriend, loyal beyond the rest.
A jokester, an adventurer, a person.

More to the picture than the draping curtain,
They never cared to pull it aside, they were too afraid.
Yet you are here, to stand by my side, one of few.

Tonight we feast and raise our glasses high
A salute to you and those alike who braved the shallows
And offered a greeting.

Down the shot, experience the burn;
An echo of those who didn't try, those who will never know.
Those too shrouded by judgmental hubris.

Put them aside, they no longer matter
As for with this ring, it is you and I
Together forever, couldn't ask for one better.

To the one who lifted the mask,
The one who went the extra step,
The one who holds me together,

I love you.

Death is inevitable,
There wold be nothing without it,
Living a life of immortality isn't worth the sin.
We may fight to prolong, to avoid the end,
But inside we all know that it will catch us along the way.
For we must take today and milk it for what it is worth,
Knowing that the day of tomorrow shall never come.

Frosted windows separate me
from the tiny fingers
pressed against the window pane.

Tendrils of smoke descending from above,
shrouding the fingers within
only visible in the glow of the flames.

What can I do but watch him die
as reality sets in, no time to play
with the person I used to be.

One by one they peel away,
leaving sweat marks on the glass,
until my inner child has gone up in flames.

Now I wake.

To find that though a dream, it was
formed from truth and reality,
the years of yesterday have taken it all away.

The faces of the night,
formed by air and fright,
are of the strongest barriers.

From a child so small,
to many so tall,
the barrier keeps us trapped.

We dare not attempt
to cross a wall so dense,
for what is the creatures are more than they seem?

Marching through the shadows
seeking shelter; vengeance.
For ourselves; For those who have betrayed us.

Marching through the shadows
lost within the void.
Inside this swamp; Inside our souls.

Marching through the shadows
looking for the light.
Of freedom; Of Peace.

A steady heartbeat,
A silent breath,
A Slowing clock.

They’re watching; waiting.
Take the shot, Take the cup.

The timer counts down
3..2..1

Shatter.

Vision blurred
Heart racing
Sweat dripping
Head swaying
The floor rises

Thump.

They’re watching; running.
Come on, get up. Take the shot.

Silence. Darkness. Peace.


Flashing lights
Sirens crying; howling
Voices everywhere
Hands touching

Weightless
Rising
Up
Up
And in.

Count down for me
3..2..1
Sleep.
.
.
.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Open your eyes, Take the shot.

Dimly lit, shed the tears.

Weak
Afraid
Lost
Confused

Beep.

Mother’s here
Don’t leave me, dear

Beep.

Did we win

Beep.

You took the shot.

Beep. Beep. Beep.
3..2..1
Sleep.

Tendrils of ebony slithering about,
looking to latch onto a soul so pure.

The purpose to drain the life within,
And raise it as their own; a creature of the dim.

The soul is ready,
the last of livelihood stripped away.

As from life comes death,
And from death is peace.
But peace turns to horror
As death becomes life.

They rise from the ground,
Hungry and ready to hunt.

Their tastes are unique,
They desire not a cow nor a horse,
Not a snake nor a rat.

They crave just one flavor,
And that flavor is you.

They take to the street on this night of Halloween;
A night to celebrate; to feast unseen.

What is perceived as a mask,
of horns and decay,
Is in truth just the face of a nightmare ready to play.

For this is the night that
they have freedom to roam,
with no one to stop them from approaching a home.

The door is opened,
by a victim so bold.
and as she turns away, they leap from the cold.

In the blink of an eye,
they are ready to eat,
the last thing they heard being "Trick or Treat".

Returning home from the night’s adventure.
Winding down from the rush of excitement,
We were too tired; too tired.
the corner was there before the steering wheel.
The crash, the sudden quiet.

Moaning is heard as
The blood seeped into the cracked roadway.
Amongst the twisted metal and shards of glass, our light fades.
Crying and waiting until we left our bodies.
Then we were gone, but we watched

as the silence was broken and
the sirens blared

We rose…. Leaving the destruction,
the heat of the flames,
the smell of burning fuel,
the whining of a dying radio.

We are with the others now
encased in the shadows.
Light and airy spirits, sometimes we are heard laughing.
We wait in our clusters,
waiting to greet anyone
who might happen to join us here.

We are finally happy
Within the confines of eternity; in death.

Now the quiet peace,
We are together now,
Perhaps you’ll join us.

These chains that bind us
shall never break.
We have worked to hard
to build them around us.

Slamming doors on those who don't understand,
turning the lock and throwing out the key.
Resigning to reside within ourselves.

Waiting in the shadows, we lurk
seeking out that one soul,
the one as lost as ourselves.

These chains that we bound ourselves with
shall never break; shall never release.
All we can do is wait for the one
who's chains fit with ours so well.

his was war and this was what always happened in war.

The young and the strong
The young and the brave
The young and the weak
All die the same.

Other young people killed them.

Those who spent their lives moping about by themselves
would mope along right into their graves.

Those who were defiant
would defy until they dropped dead.

The maudlin would weep and the deal makers would bargain
and the jokers would joke.

But every last one of them would die.
For it is in death that we are truly equal.

We wander these hill,
lost within ourselves
as we watch the world move on.

We have come to realize
that we aren't meant to be a part of it all,
as we watch the world move on.

We hang our heads,
so as to not lose faith in reality,
as we watch the world move on.

Hidden in the night's embrace,
we seek innocence
but out pasts have left us none.

Beneath the skies so black,
we seek shelter
but life leaves us in an open field.

Under the shadows, we search
for one last meal,
but the soil was never fertile.

The pendulum sways from side to side
counting the seconds that seem to drag on by.
From left to right and back again,
ever swinging, never caring.

When all at once we have moved on,
from tonkin trucks and toy voodoo dolls
to raising a family hidden in the shadows,

There comes a moment too late
when we realize we never went back again,
Never stopped to play pretend.

Assuring ourselves that all was well,
unaware that we were slipping away.
Though surrounded by so many, yet still alone,
we are left to stand amidst the blackened rain.

We have it all but we have forgotten
what it meant to be alive.
Clock in and out, work it all away
to live a life that we are living wrong.

The evening air
The smell of pine
The grass tickles

Perched on the edge
Looking out
Over the city,
See the lights.

Olive, they call her
Because of her hair
That rustic green
Defines her now.

A gentle breeze
The strands sway
A gentle sigh
She is at peace

The moonlight shines
Through her emerald eyes
Her skin so pale; she looks so frail

Nothing to do
She’s free to ponder
To aspire, to wonder
To watch the bees

As the sun sets lower
And the shadows grow long

A final sigh, she calls it a night
But she’ll be back, as soon as there’s light.
To rest once again
In nature’s delight.

The smile that haunts me deeply
and follows me everywhere I go
The faded memory that is with me
and remains unforgiven.
This gentle touch that transcends the years
and keeps m always on my toes
This warming scent of cologne that sends a chill
and brings forth the image.
They say time has passed us by
and that I need to catch up with it all
They don’t see what it has done
and wonder who is has built me up to be.
Tonight I’ll stay home with the door ajar
and try to cope with this pain of mine
Tonight I’ll go out to grab a pint
and bury it deep inside.
There will not be a way to go back
and prevent it from ever having happened
There is nothing to be done
and this is how the world goes on.
Then I will live this numbing life
and walk with him always at my side
Then I shall stride with purpose
and overthrow the difficulties.
The smile that haunts me deeply shall
hold me true as it learns to let me go
The faded memory that is with me shall
keep me pure as it begins to be forgiven.

Emmett Smith (1921-2012)

The merry-go-round is a thing of joy
Where kids can play in endless revolution.
They laugh and yell and don’t realize that their entertainment
Is from one another and not the rusted metal.

I remember when back in the day,
I would sit and spin wishing to feel the thrill.
This welded contraption has no amusing aura,
Not when there is no one to join.

Round and round and round again,
Spinning around with no end.
I lay here alone while the others play tag,
Tag she is it, now it is he, though I go nowhere it is never me.

To this day there is no change,
Wandering these halls I pass them bye,
The same **** kids who take no notice
But today is the day, they will all see.

I’ll make the headlines that I’ll never see,
Front page news across the country.
They will have no choice but to see me now,
My face the last to cross their minds.

A sheltered life I have lived,
Never a time had I strayed nor
Dared to interfere
With the ways I was told it was meant to be.

Although I've seen your cigarette and your beer at fourteen,
These ways you have, were never for me.
Yet here I stand, with these thoughts so dark,
My mind ever plagued by tranquility...

.

Many will proclaim that the darkened life
Is derived from a past of bad choices and abuse.
Perhaps in part I believe this to be true,
Yet it is apparent to me that the life is there from birth.

It is in this way that I stand my ground,
Never to care what they may say.
I will dress my way and do my thing
For I know it to be true that this is my way.

To all like me without a reason or rhyme
Whom desire a life that they can call their own.
To those who wish to live without being judged by how
They look, how they love, or how they speak.

It is to you that I offer my hand to take,
So that you may join me on this journey
And march through the night in our battle
To evade negativity, as this is out right.

The last chance has passed and she has left me lost and alone.
The driver sped through the light that he failed to see
through his high powered beer goggles.

The rest of the world runs on the same,
No one the wiser, no one to feel my pain.
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

I’m out of tears, no more grief, the time has passed.
Tonight I am slipping away without my anchor to
Tether me to this world.

It is time to end the suffering, stop the waiting.
I cannot accept that there will ever be another
As I fall to pieces; the lord caves his jigsaw into me.

We have no control of the hands on the clock,
The minutes spin into hours and days are lost
As tomorrow becomes a yesterday gone.

Chronos himself waits not for us,
We forget to watch as our watch unwinds.
Memories are missed every day we couldn't wait.

Here we stand lost behind the minutes before
Unable to regain the time we rushed through.
We are too eager to speed things along
To realize that our time is limited.

War and hate are the human ways,
...The purest of us, the gentle and kind,
Without them we wouldn't know how to fill our days.
...Cannot avoid having hate on their mind.
.
There will come a day, like all species before,
...Alike as well as those species by default,
When the human race will be no more.
...Our end too shall come at the humans' fault.
.
We wish and hope that our ways will change,
...But the reality tells us there is no way,
That we can find ways of living that aren't so strange.
...Death and destruction is just how we play.

An expression
"Build me up, buttercup"
A license to knock you back down.

They say they'll show you the world,
go for a ride under their wing
They drop you through the clouds.

Pleasant company, you hope to be
work with them as they show you the ropes
never good enough.

Trying to rise form the ashes
the past is in the past
as the wind sweeps across the nation
once again you're scattered.

A game to play but not to win
fight for the right to be let down
eventually things are sure to work out.

That's what they tell me anyway.

A single blackened snowflake hanging in the air,
a choice to stand out so vividly
from the others so pale.
A choice that is not it's own,
nor could be fear of difference.

Slowly descending to rest upon my palm,
It cannot wait as it melts away into nothingness,
Gone as though it never was.

A miracle in nature,
A phenomenon unheard of.
But who will ever know; who will believe?
In difference the flake is soon forgotten.

This flake chose to alight upon myself,
perhaps seeking to find another like itself.
Yet it is just a meminder, a mockery,
knowing that these shadows will ultimately
take away, with myself,
The memories of whoever I was supposed to be

It is my soul he is here to claim
But perhaps I am not ready to go.
He stands there staring without eyes,
Waiting for my company.

My time has come, but I will not consent as I
Throw a punch and another. He cannot have me.
He is death, he sees it before it happens.
Contact, I do not make.

I cannot fight him, therefore I cannot win.
I am not ready to board his carriage.
I try to flee, to run as far as I can,
But I cannot move from my spot.

Without a word he hovers nearer,
His scythe swaying so peacefully from side to side,
He raises it up as he stands behind me
For it is now that this vestigial fight has come to an end.

They push, they ****, the beg and nag.
It's never enough, they want more.
We give and give, we hope and pray.
It's never enough, they want more.

These creatures walk our planet,
Living off her life, destroying her to live. But
It's never enough, they want more.

They build and create, entertainment and toys.
The planet destroyed for a moment of joy.
It's never enough, they want more.

These creatures think this world is theirs.
The other beings do not compare, even so
It's never enough they want more.

Metal
These bars
Safe
Or not.
The torment
Accompanies
Embraces

Outside
Dead
Freedom
Escape.

Forbi­dden
trapped
a ring
strangling.

Depression
Loathing
Solitude
My own bars

Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Repetition
Insanity
Lock Down

Gone

Heart and mind
said to entwine
but far apart
set those of mine

passion and wisdom
not always hand in hand
following her, my lust's content
forbidding thoughts, I'm held at bay.

her baggage is much
but the suitcase shines so brilliantly
my heart's temptations flare
the mind does not care.

chasing her down
the ever growing hall
practicality keeping me slow
desperation hoping she'll fall.

I find my self struggling
to balance out the two
a decision needs to be made
so many options that are so few.

Torn inside, my yin and yang.
the impossible choice I cannot make
as like always,
it is time for me to wake.