I don't want you to look me in the eyes because I can't look myself in them.
I get lost in my own searching for something but I can never find anything.  
I don't want you to get lost.
I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that you can't find your way back.

"17 bullets in his body"

I'll never forget
those words
the doctor had said
while my man was on his death bed

17 bullets
17.

And it was the 17th of March

On our 17th anniversary
And I heard those words
At 1:07 am

17 bullets
and we were both 17 when we first laid eyes on each other
that day when you came over to our house with my brother
and it was the 17th of March

17.

I like you.
like a whole bunch.
I like the way your fingers tap incessantly and the way your voice carries leagues across the blacktop and the way your lips curl up in that goofy smile.
but your heart is not mine and I don't need it I just want your hand to hold mine.
I just want to be yours.

We joke sometimes
about falling in love,
we talk in deep detail
about our romance;
the kind of house we want,
the name of the family dog,
would we rather have boys or girls,
and we argue over who will stay home
to raise the kids, I always let you win.

We joke sometimes
about growing old together;
we talk about thinning hair,
wrinkling skin, tired eyes
and energized grand kids.
We promise to one another
that we will stay in love,
still hold hands, hug each other tightly
and kiss both daily and nightly

We joke sometimes
about a life we could be living
and I just want you to know
that I am not always kidding.