I know this guy, right
that typos fall out his mouth
like the crumbs from an 8 year old's birthday party;
smothered in icing
cheeks puffed like marshmallow boy
choking on the ecstatic hunger of youth.

I know this guy, right
who's head is stuck together with metal staples
like hooves from the Trojan wars;
part Grecian War Horse
part medical anomaly.

I know this guy, right
who can drink his own body weight
like a Dionysian fountain of beer;
spouting the knowledge of the planets
whilst mixing shots of Whisky with Guinness.

I know this guy, right
who's life revolves around TV and DVD's
like an electronic ****** addict;
citing smoking death rates
and wholesome low price vegan recipes
and the commandments of a moral society.

I know this guy, right
who's a combustible liar with infinite lives
like a genie in the lamp that's flammable;
gets four sentences in and spontaneously implodes
and appears the next night with a tall tale to tell.

I know this guy, right
I know this guy
Some guy
that guy
you know that guy
he doesn't even have to be called Guy
just some guy
you know the guy
we all know the guy

I know this guy, right
I know this guy.