I can't ask God for the pain to cease
To cleanse this grief within
Because for some reason it makes me
Atone for all my sin.

I cry and sob the pain away
Wishing it to be gone
But the one thing I can never do
Is cry and sob to God.

Surely I know He's there for me
I surely know He cares
He listens when I cry out to Him
He answers all my prayers

This surely is a killing pain
That lingers deep within
But there's nothing I can do-it seems-
To slay this awful sin.

I hate the pain that plagues my life
I want it to be gone
Still I know that I must have it
To sing my mournful song.

I drank 4 shots yesterday
Every single one
"in the name of those we lost in love"
Feeling the burn
Down my throat
Tasting your last
Goodbye
And watching it infect
The blood in my veins
I felt the dizziness of
Being lost
The kind you feel when
You've just lost a friend
Or the one you'd fall asleep next to
Or both
I felt the nausea rise up
Like a roaring sea
With the memories we once had
As I stumbled down
To touch the ground
That for once felt like home
Trying to rid myself
Of the thoughts of you
Swimming in my mind
Sober or drunk
It's always you that
My heart remembers

The sun rises up and the sun sets down
But here i am wearing my heart with a frown
This christmas breeze frost the air
Like it frosted my heart having love thats so unfair

I walk in the aisles of madness and woe
asking myself do you think of me too?
I used to belong to this wildfire of yours
But i am just a human and i can no longer take the curse

My life would'nt be the same without you to break the ice
Moments of fire already gone in my eyes
But i still believe letting go of you is the right thing i should do
Having you still means i selfishly loves you

Thats why i have to wear a mask and keeps on pretending
dreaming im flying while my heart is already flooding
Flooding with grief and sorrow
Worrying myself what will happen tomorrow..

I used to confide to you all my heartaches and pain
But now i know i cannot do it again
Now i confessed my sorrow in the corner of the leaves of the trees
Letting it fly as the wind breeze

I am all alone now and still walking in the same path that i've been thru
Keeping all my heartaches and my moments of blue
letting myself to soar high along the shore
Keeping my secrets in the sand where my life has bore

My secrets that has been carried away by the wave
Where it made my love for you everlastingly unsaved
I know i have to stop this emotion in which i felt for you
like a fire in my heart where the wind has blew

Oh if i could only see you now!
In front of you i will make a vow
Vow to fight for my love for you even i know that is unfair
But here i am sitting wounded in a stair..

Creating a melody of my own
Building hatred for what my life had shown
But i know until the clock strikes at its last nine
I know inside of me i just cannot make you mine!

and god,
most of all i pray
for them,
please stay away
from my heart
I'm through with this
this aching *****
filling with blood
then spilling it  out
so it can poison the rest of my thoughtless body
this red ink
staining the sink
please
just let me be me again
filter out the remnants of you
from this tireless mind
and ceaseless soul