Past dreamless midnight
Absence of my lost love's arms
******* solo.

I am a monster.
Whether I was born one,
Or became one does not matter.

I never wanted this.
I hurt myself,
This pain spreading to others.

They want to help me
Or so they say.
I fear them.

I fear them as they fear me.
Their fear surfaces as anger.
A mob at my door to burn me at the stake.

My fear surfaces as pain.
Pain and loneliness.
I shall remain in my castle.

For I am a monster.
I only cause others pain.
It's best if I'm alone.

the scent of you would be my favorite perfume. I'd walk to your doorstep,
as early as two. Because I want to feel that indescribable feeling. I wan't to be with you.

and it's not *** or desire that I'm looking for. it's the warmth from your hair, the fire from the blanket we both share.

but for now, I can only absorb my dreams. Pretend it's my only reality. only. why can't it be? See the struggle that is approaching me?

I'm still trying and crying
Feeling like I'm dying
Stop lying,
             I'm not buying
I'm not relying on what your supplying
Keep denying what your implying
All this prying and spying
Leaves me sighing
I'm no longer complying
No more trying
I'm done crying

Your going down,
           make you drown
Lose the frown,
        talk of the town
Drop the crown
Actin like a clown,
                showdown
Got pushed down,
        shot down
Put down,
      knocked down
Left laying on the ground
But I'm coming around

In preclusion to the confusion
I've come to a conclusion
I'm not losin this illusion
         Tired of your aggression
I'm left in seclusion
It's a transition,
           a new resolution
It's not confusin
I'm winning this aggravation


        Just
             Some
         Food
      For
              Thought

You wonder
why I wiggle
so much
why my legs
bounce,
and my hands
twitch.
Truth is,
my mind
can't slow down
It doesn't know
how to take a day off,
its far too good
at tormenting me
more and more
with each
passing second.

-JRM