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 Jul 2018 Constantine
halle
I wish I wasn't alone.

I wish I didn't get belittled. I wish my family ******* cared about me at times when they didn't have to. I wish I wasn't drowning and yelling, only to be the only one able to hear me. I wish I didn't hate everything including but except myself.  

I wish I wasn't stranded here with nothing but these vacant wishes that will never ever cone true in this or any other lifetime.
Stuck in a life full of tragic
She wants to leave
And find her magic.
No, she’s not erratic.

Hides all her pride inside the attic
Of her mind
It's all just static
No, she's not dramatic.

She slips again, and starts to panic
She’s sinking fast
Like the Titanic
It’s just a habit, it’s automatic.
This isn't fairy tales that you read
It's ****** her dry she can't even bleed
She’s falling apart all over me.

She's in her room on the phone
Crying to me
That she's alone.
Her mind is stuck in traffic.

A pile of dreams under the bed
Once full of promise
Now torn to shreds, can’t admit it’s dead.

She tells me what she thought it would be.
Like it is on tv.
She’s no longer in the scene.
She picks it up right where she left it,
On the floor, she can't forget it.
This isn't magic.
This isn't habit.
This isn't tragic.
It's automatic.
it's amazing how one
can see through souls

and for me,
it's the most beautiful talent
one could ever wish
lost on thoughts
 Jul 2018 Constantine
Nicole Dawn
I see it
Nearby

I see it
Swinging open

I stretch out a hand
Then let it fall

I lift my eyes
But rest my head

I know I should get up
I know I should go through
But I can't
I can't

I see it swinging
Wide
      Open

There is light through the door
But darkness in my heart

Deep in my soul
I ache

My mind sweetly whispers
Little lies, little secrets
(You won't make it)
(You're too weak)
(You're not worth it)

I lay for a moment
Watching the door
Then I close
My
Eyes

Goodbye, I whisper
Forever gone
**** **** **** **** me
You keep saying
I keep *******
And you keep changing
I keep thrusting and you keep saying  
I don't love you
So Why start changing?
So I *******
You start playing
I wake up
You start laying
I think I will
Always be changing
Oh, I thank God I'll always be changing
But never for you..........
There is so much power
in the delicate touch
of your hands caressing
my own.

Yet, this power, a force
even stronger than gravity,
and softer than a feather
binds me
to you.
Don't let them in
And let them know your sin
They'll just come and take everything
Leaving you with nothing but an empty skin

Don't let them in
And let them say that you're okay
Making you feel like you need them
And expect them to stay

Don't let them in
Its all just a trick
They just wanna take a look inside
Even just a peek

Don't let them in
Keep everything to yourself
Never pour out your soul again
Keep your emotions on a shelf

Don't let them in
Its better this way
Maybe when you're gone
They won't even remember you on your birthday
the ghost in the wasteland is buried
and night stars and night love stars
they burn forever in the sky
not even noticing my gloomy scream

funeral ghost
the funeral ghost fits
and time and hours are still the same and go
and also without noticing the horror in my soul

love and death love and death are one thing
and ghosts and ghosts go
play chess with us play and play
in the wasteland are just like that

09.07.18
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