I didn’t realize you used it against me.
When day 4 was erased and turned into another day 1,
I still thought it was all my fault, that I didn’t give you enough.

Now though, I see you are a monster.
I refuse to blame myself for being naïve.
I’m no stranger to abuse, but your method will haunt me for years.
While wielding the sword of my own horrors, you whispered the vows that would save your reputation and keep my loyalty even when I’m empty and broken.
You soothed the old wound and turned my wildfire into a flickering candle. But my wax turned cold on impact when you tried to slice my flesh when I was most vulnerable.

I let you draw blood, numbed by your manipulation.
But now you are gone, and your anesthesia wore off.
I see you now.
You are not my friend.
You are not my enemy.
You are just a terrible young man who’s name I will eventually forget.
Because you are nothing to me anymore.

The beautiful girl with the raven hair.
A sleeve of pain she doesn’t remember.
A past of stolen innocence and growing up too fast.
A life of raising her sisters but losing her daughter, because money doesn’t grow on trees and 22 weeks was all the time she could get.
A heart of gold but a facade of steel, too scared to let anyone back in.
A soul that rages of fire, power, and more grit than anyone I’ve met.
A future that my heart wishes for her more than she will ever know.
She will get everything she desires.
Her sobriety will be the medal around her neck.
Her life will be the trophy she won back.
And her beautiful children will be the emblem of strength that let them be born.

My body is currency.
Its been stolen and spent
and affection is costly.
Friendship is costly.
Understanding is priceless.
This money is worthless.
When the hospital asks for insurance, I am
at a loss.
Why secure my future when my usual payment
method guaranteed I wouldn't have one?

I promised I wouldn’t do it.
But you promised I was more important than ***.
I guess we both lied.

Day 1 of you still wanting me was full of fear.
Day 2 of you still wanting me was full of waiting.
And then came day 3.
Day 3 you began to slip. I felt us start to go back to the way we were.
I skipped day 3 because even if you still cared I knew there wouldn’t be a day 4.

So day 1 of you not wanting me anymore was full of me trying to hang on.
I tried so hard to get you to stay because I need someone to listen and I want that someone to be you.
But the only thing you’ll ever want to hear are my sighs and my moans and your name dripping from my lips like honey.
And nothing in the world will make me sacrifice everything I love for a boy who only wants to ****.

You used the oldest play in the book,
But I’m a sucker for antiques and I’m optimistic to a fault.
You said don’t be worried,
But why is this time different?
We’ve always ruined it with our vicious cycle,
And the venom is just sweet enough that even though we are rotting, we still want seconds.
Please don’t let this be poison disguised as nectar.
Next time, I won’t come back.

Holding people back is worse than being worthless, it’s costly.
They pay and pay and pay but why?
Why go into debt for me?
I can’t give you anything but these broken parts.
They aren’t beautifully tragic, they aren’t something that can be turned around.
They are just pathetic and sad and I’m a weight on your ankle.
How does it feel carrying 90 pounds plus the weight of the world?
Carrying the sky has crushed me and I threw that burden onto you too.
Congratulations for getting ****** in!
Was my siren melody too much for you?
I was sure they would of shoved the plugs into your ears.
My reputation precedes me.