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Adrian Jan 2018
impermanent tattoos
decorate my skin
words
in your handwriting
adorn my arms
filling up the blank spaces
and caressing my wrists
they bring back memories
a fleeting laugh
discrete humor
the clicking of a pen
and being close enough
to hear you breathe
the warmth of your hand
pressed against my arm
as you look up at me
mirth in your eyes
and we silently laugh
at what you've written on me this time
I adore these memories
treasure them
with a sense of euphoria
oh,
how sad it will be
to wash off these impermanent tattoos
Adrian Jan 2018
There's a world out there
seen only through orange lensed ski goggles
a world with a redder sky
and a vermillion ground
your eyes adjust
though
to the apricot hues
and after a while
you find yourself seeing orange
and thinking blue
and when you take off
those warmly toned lenses
everything seems
so **** blue
like you forgot
the entire sky around you
was just a vast expanse
of cerulean
everything is so ******* orange
until it's blue
Adrian Jan 2018
It's like
When I miss you
I feel like I'm being clingy
Or I care too much
It's like
When I don't care
I get worried
That I'll hurt someone
It's like
When I think about the future
I never see what could go right
Only the many
Many things
That could go wrong
It's like I have to deal
With the burden of all these failures
That haven't even happened
It's like when I close my eyes
Scenarios play out
In my head
Scenarios in which
All the bad thing happen
And none of the good
Scenarios
Where I lose everyone
Scenarios where
Everyone realizes
Just how awful I am
I can't help but know
All of my worst fears
I rehash them every night
Just in case I forget
A quick seminar
And make sure to take notes
It's like
I can't sleep sometimes
Because my body just
fills
With paranoia
And so far
I haven't found a way
To empty it
Adrian Dec 2017
a fraction of an instant
leaves a salty-sweet taste in my mouth
an aching feeling of nostalgia
comparable to hunger
emotions like these aren't enjoyable
a war is fought
an intense battle
between happy
and sad
somewhere a stalemate is found
and outcomes bittersweet
crashing through the brambles to ruin everyone's mood
a confusion of the senses
with no satisfaction
a stinging injustice
that the woe dealt
cannot be properly mourned
due to the element of lingering happiness
still,
milk chocolate is found to be too sweet
and 100% cocoa
too dark
and so a compromise is made
everyone's favorite chocolate is bittersweet
Adrian Dec 2017
there's this jellyfish
stuck in my head
he swims there day and night
and lights up the dark
inside of my skull
a bioluminescent, fluorescent jellyfish
swollen and pink
he likes to shock me
lighting up the dark
inside of my skull
he has long, coral tentacles
they squeeze around my brain
and he hugs it
and pretends to be a part of it
I think he gets a little lonely up there
if you ask me
no one to talk to
in the dark inside my skull
there's this poor,
poor jellyfish
stuck in my head
who swims laps around my brain
as though the space in someone's head
could ever be as good as an ocean
perhaps someday I will set him free
perhaps I will crack open my skull
and it will no longer be dark inside of there
pink will spew out
a large mushy brain
with a jellyfish attached
his long, coral tentacles
will claw at the air
like tendrils of bubblegum
until someone brings him to the ocean
where he belongs
there's this jellyfish
stuck in my head
and he's very confused
because my head looks nothing like an ocean
Adrian Dec 2017
there is a boy in San Diego
who sits at his desk
and does nothing but drink coffee all day
he has sores in his mouth
permanent and aching
white hot sores
that blister and burn
and make him clutch his coffee tighter
and drown his aching mouth
in caffeine
there is a boy in San Diego
with wild,
wild eyes
who does nothing
but sit and think of the past all day
remarking on his aching mouth
and feeling his aching heart
there is a boy in San Diego
who feels the sun
in his mouth
the sores
in his mouth
they bleed
they flood his aching
dry mouth
with coppery fluid
and that boy
in San Diego
drown his sores in coffee
and hopes to be sore no more
Adrian Dec 2017
I am walking on ice
Towards you
You taunt me
I catch a glimpse of you
A gleam of color
Through a whirlwind of snow
And I am oh so eager
To catch up to you
So I run forward
Though my fingers are blue
And my legs are oh
So tired
I can feel the ice cracking under my feet
I know I should stop
Quit chasing
After an elusive figure
In the snow
Even if you might be all I want
All I think I want
But I can't stop now
The ice behind me
Begins to break off
Drifting into the endless dark sea
That I am so afraid will consume me
So I keep walking on ice
Hoping you're my igloo
Though you might just be
The frigid water below
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