They'll never understand this thirst
So much heart in one verse
So much love, but never been put first
Maybe there is more to this than meets the eye
Maybe something's brewing in these lightning skies
Maybe I'm starting to read between the lines
And everybody elses conscious lies
Maybe this was what I was trying to find
Doesn't do any good to run and hide
That's why I take it a day at a time
So that I don't get stuck in this web of life.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Give me the sunrise
Give me a new dawn
Let the sun soak into my skin
I'm so optimistic
A future shining so bright 

Give me the setting 
of the sun
rising over the ocean

Let me feel the heat

In this good feeling of emotion

I'm starting to pave my way

To the place, I've been trying to create

The one that is filled with serenity

The one that gives me the inner peace

That I need 
and wanted so badly

I'm burying my past
Don't you dare allocate your allegations
It's time to move on
Time to look up
I'm tired of drowning in the sorrows
I'm tired of this smile I borrowed
I want to feel the warmth
Of happiness inside
I want that in my life

The sad memories
Are buried six feet under
I don't want to feel another
I held onto so much doubt
The pills wouldn't even drown it out
I had to work so hard
Just to be able to let go of my past
They say that is what makes your future
But I'll be ****** if I'm judged by a jury
I'll be ****** if I let life do that to me
I was hit and kicked while I was down
But I've got skin made of armor now
And I'm happy with where I'm at
That is something no one can take
And now I'm somebody
who doesn't easily break

I'm burying my past
Don't you dare allocate your allegations
It's time to move on
Time to look up
I'm tired of drowning in the sorrows
I'm tired of this smile I borrowed
I want to feel the warmth
Of happiness inside
I want that in my life

I've taken every task
Thrown my way
I've given all the blood
I can give
I've said every word
To band aid that hurt
I've got scars that show
But they're just a reflection
Of who I used to be
I'm starting to look at life
with more positively
I'm starting to feel more secure
with who I am
I'm starting to feel happy within myself
that is something that has been
a long time coming
Now my world isn't crumbling
Before my eyes
Now I've seen hurt heal with time

I'm burying my past
Don't you dare allocate your allegations
It's time to move on
Time to look up
I'm tired of drowning in the sorrows
I'm tired of this smile I borrowed
I want to feel the warmth
Of happiness inside
I want that in my life

©2017 Written By Benji James

Guess I'm never meant to fall in love
Guess I'm never gonna be the one
And the rivers of love are starting to run dry
And my heart is sinking on the inside

Into the blackness of this stormy sky

And baby when the thunder comes crashing down

I know I'm all alone in my house

And I tried to give you the best of me

But that doesn't seem to matter

Because you're leaving me alone 
in the dark
trying to hold on 
and it's just not fair

How can I breathe when you're my air

I'll never get to kiss her in the summer rain
I'll never get to experience our first date
And I thought I was dedicated
But it just leaves me frustrated
That she never gave a minute
To take the time to see
That she, She could've been the one for me

People seem to keep leaving me
And I don't understand
Am I that bad, That bad of a friend
What ever happened to staying until the end
People seem to keep leaving me
They find someone else
And forget about me
I'm tired of being alone
How am I supposed to deal with being on my own
When I can't stand who I am
And I wanted to be your man
But you keep leaving me
And It's not fair
You didn't even give me a ******* chance
You didn't even give me a chance

I'll never get to kiss her in the summer rain
I'll never get to experience our first date
And I thought I was dedicated
But it just leaves me frustrated
That she never gave a minute
To take the time to see
That she, She could've been the one for me

And I don't wanna go another day
Without your love
And what you're giving isn't enough
But there is nobody else like you
And theirs a whole lot more we
Need to work through
A whole lot more we need to do
You could at least pick up your phone
And talk to me baby
So come on baby don't leave me
Lying alone, Because I'm tired of sleeping alone
What if I'm afraid to fall back in love
And I can't give them what they want
Thanks for leaving me,
Thanks for confusing,
Everything I do,
Babe, I did it for you.

I'll never get to kiss her in the summer rain
I'll never get to experience our first date
And I thought I was dedicated
But it just leaves me frustrated
That she never gave a minute
To take the time to see
That she, She could've been the one for me

©2017 Written By Benji James

Razor blade cuts were just the start
He made art
by drawing pictures in his blood
With wounds so deep
So much room to breathe 

Watch me bleed

Feel my need

All attention on me

Do you see the tension in me

Can you feel the weakness in my knees

I've tried to plead

But I couldn't please 

So watch me bleed

Feel the punishment tormenting me

Why don't they see
all the pain within my words

Can't they see my heart on the line

Every time I write
take a trip through my mind,
my dreams, my life

I vision so much but all the negativity
has started killing me
inch by inch

Now this itch
won't go away

I've penetrated my skin with fingernails so thin 

Now it kills to breathe in 

And I can't seem to find my way out

Of the darkness of this stormy cloud 

When will the rain stop drowning me out
all these emotions swirl around like the rough seas

I just want them to understand me

I just want somebody to take a little more notice

I've got a heart that needs some love 

But the hates so strong

I can't find where I belong.

©2017 Written By Benji James

cut out my tongue
so that i can stop telling you i love you
cut open my throat
so that i can stop screaming
from this immense pain you've brought upon me
cut off my ears
so that i can stop hearing your lies
cut out both of my eyes
so that i can forget
that you did once exist

until presence awake beneath hallow Moons
Purify water tis waken moore' hind
Anglo sea seep, teeth mark O'er only lions
marshes set ablaze twined looks clock kist mind
bellows hours come rise sepent vagabong kind
hello thee waken lonly tusks thrash and throb
member BA distain radius girth see'th cob