The thrill of recognition
The rush of all the fame
Its nothing that I have known before
It isn't quite the same
It's intoxicating
It is putting me to shame
I cannot keep my focus
And I know that it's to blame
Pull me from the deep end
My soul needs to be clear
This new bold way of thinking
It is causing me great fear
I know I need to escape
But the feeling is severe
This new dark and ****** obsession
I feel I must adhere  
Please free me from my prison
My pain is so sincere
I know you'll do the right thing
And end me now
Right here

we the daughters of sliced sunbeams
and those who chase gales in between
the pasture gates and barbed fences behind
the silo--

who think there's nothing softer than the way
honey sounds drizzled on toast or daisy petals at the supermarket
the women of ferocious silences, standing before
dozens with trimmed smiles and deafening inner beauty

squeezing our fingers down barley stalks and sewing
the roots into our dresses, we've tried six ways to sunday
the rules, the book on being wanted, before realizing that anything
born out of self-indulgence wilts away
all the work we did to grow and plait our hair with vanilla,
dipped in sweet almond oil we had no idea
that pretending
could only get us
so


far.

Have you ever been in the exact moment
You wish never to forget?
I am there now
Right now.
Surrounded by friends, lovers, dreamers
In a small bar in Shimokitazawa

My partners, my potential partners, my fwb
All in one space enjoying the evening together

I am someone today

We are sharing true stories
Important moments of our lives

I want to kiss everyone
Instead, I love everyone
And wrap them up in my mind
Life is worth living today

It wasn't God

                      that chased me down dark recesses

            both seen and unseen

                             but the allegory.

Once when we were kids
Mum had fun throwing a dinner party.

I could tell because
there were stains on the tablecloth
but no one was crying,
and the food upgraded from sausage rolls to Sushi and Olives.

I want one-
-You can't, Mum  said they're for adults-
I want a Olives-
     said the back of my 4 year old sister as she went to try the
New Thing.

The Olive was carefully chosen and examined with 4 years of culinary expertise,
swirled around a gummy mouth and
promptly returned to its post.

It was yuck -
she informed me and her breathless twin from the safety of the veranda
after weaving her way through the adult legs strewn around the Good Lounge without even so much as a
'woe betide you child if you're in here again.'

So we sat and thought about parties and Good Lounges and woe betides
drinking juice,  
and watched our Uncle fill his plate with sushi and olives,
singing tonelessly to ABBA
before spilling his beer on the floor .