IT is never the answer

you know what it is

It’s that thing that dwells beneath the deepest darkest thoughts at night

it’s the pain and isolation that hides beneath rehearsed laughs and smiles

But what the **** should I do when my breathing gets old and my voice gets repetitive

what should I do when knowing I’m still here bothers me

what should I do when I hurt everyone I care about

what should I do when i disappoint everyone who puts their hopes on my shoulders

what should I do when the crimson trickling down from my skin isn’t enough

what should I do when not even the people who you care for most in the world

can save you from the black swallowing you from the inside

what should I do when words mean nothing and I just feel like I’m talking to brick walls

what should I do when the most basic thing in the world, is missing from me.

what the **** should I do when there is no question

that needs to be answered with anything

there is just me

and there is just nothing

bend that bow till breaking
fire those arrows at will
I am an illusion
a draft of sorrows and heartache
too ephemeral
too misty to stay long in any sights
for the sake of argument.
gentiles and wit
karma and justice
its seems the only thing broken is your luck,
and the answer it seems is lost in the wind
while you're too busy thinking
by my mind you are already an ancient thought.
cast your strokes,
carve your name upon my will
a hard target for an uneasy ****
I've died before and lived again
My special healing power is
I never give a **** more than is necessary
and yes indeed this above all
makes me a most worthy adversary.

I know that when
it comes down to it

I'll find you in every town

in every bar
in every museum

you'll order a drink
I don't come by too often

and I will compare you to
those you can't compare to

and you will win

I'll hear ocean waves when you breathe

I'll smell lust
freedom
adventure

I'll see the sun set in your hair

and you is a number
the number of those that make
me feel like you do

the limitless number of
uniquely lovable individuals

the creatures of dreams

the things that make hearts flutter
minds crumble and scream

but keep the mouth smiling

and the mind will think
only of those you(s)

because every one of them is lovable

every single one is everything

every one is YOU, specifically

everything after this will all be
you

and there's never been anything more beautiful than YOU

empty hands with nothing to hold.
waves crashing against my broken bones.
I gave it a shot,
trying to swim to you.
but you let me drown
in the thought of you.

I sit in here in my window seal half naked, with my window open and the smell of freshly soaked grass wafting in with the flashing lights of the sky.

At this point in my life, i dont know what the hell is going on. Im trapped between the walls of my heart and the confines of my mind.
I am the once solid foundation of your home, after the earthquake shook your house to tears.

I am the once smiling face, after your lover left.

My heart, once beating strongly and lightly, now pouts, cold and hardened, next to my once healthy lungs.

No words can bring the soul back into my eyes, nor can any kiss bring the color back into my cheeks.

My hands cant hold him anymore, for they seem to only shake and become numb.

My mouth is no longer capable of forming soft gentle words, only harsh and savage, broken phrases pass over the cusp of my lips.

My mind finds no comfort in the things once enjoyed by my being, accompanied by the music of my laughter echoing through the corridors of a once happy home.

My legs no longer know where they are pushing me, my feet are unsure of where to step.


People say that no one is lost.




But could you tell me where i am?

Recently, I often find myself feeling small
I know “small” isn't a legitimate emotion but when you live in a city of 825,863 people
And attend a university of 30,500 other kids
Who stumble and still manage to fake the answers to
Why why why
Where where where
How why where when when when
When your best friend lets The City change her into a stranger in a skin-tight dress at a club
And your boyfriend throws excuses like rocks at your naked body
And your closest friends are these words running across the page
Faster and faster and faster until these letters bleed and run and you don’t know what they mean anymore,
You start to feel small too.
Shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and constantly shrinking
Until you are the tiniest dot on a map in their hearts and flushed through their veins and spat out like a bad taste in their throats.