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 Sep 2019 Ashley
Izzy
(Numb)ers
 Sep 2019 Ashley
Izzy
Numb, I am so numb
Numb, I cannot feel
Numb, I am broken
Numb, What is pain?
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ERROR
I am a product of my fAUltY programming
 Sep 2019 Ashley
Suzy
I can
 Sep 2019 Ashley
Suzy
I start my day ...
‘I can’t do this ‘
I finish my day ...
‘ I did it ‘
 Aug 2019 Ashley
Emily Miller
My father walked me down the aisle,
But my mother held my arm.
He went with me,
But we went not towards the altar,
But towards the door.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And the ***** rang through the church,
Humming through the elaborate crown molding,
Carved by my ancestors.

He went,
Not beside me,
But before me,
And I watched,
As he was illuminated by the bright,
Overbearing,
Texas sun.

My father walked me down the aisle,
But I did not wear white.
My father walked me in silence,
And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar,
But for the one I would never see again.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And no veil obscured my face.
All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty,
Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow,
Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes.

My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother.
She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly,
Loudly,
Unavoidably,
And I carried her with one hand,
My sister the other,
And walked towards my future.
A future family,
Not one person more,
But one person less.
I walked,
One final time,
With him.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And I will never forget it.
Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd,
Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart,
Blurred faces staring,
Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church,
The anguished wails of my mother,
The whimpering of my sister,
And the wooden box that glided before us,
Pulling,
A string tied to our patriarch,
The pin key of our family,
Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors.

My father walked me down the aisle,
Before I had a chance to grow up.
He walked me,
Out of the church,
Away from the altar,
Never to be walked again.
 Aug 2019 Ashley
thesa
fail
 Aug 2019 Ashley
thesa
tell me
how many times may i still fail
until also you
will leave
Blackberries dripping with Summer dew and
you with stains on your patterned shirt.

Alert to the possibility that death could be the death of me
I decline to climb the tallest tree and sit down on a rock.

I remember the taste
which was yesterday,
things taste differently today.

My thoughts are put down in the order of appearance
and not necessarily in the order of occurrence,
but you've probably noticed that.

And I'm watching a pink sash being slowly wound around an unbecoming sky.
 Aug 2019 Ashley
Atticus
spiralling
 Aug 2019 Ashley
Atticus
I am spiralling down a dark well
mortar and stone grazing my knuckles and fingers
in their desperate plea to find a crack
a divet
anything to stop the spiral
but I continue to fall
black upon black
grey upon grey
deeper and deeper
the water is at my ankles
sinking
sinking
sinking now
into putrid sludge of what I do not want to remember
swept into the dark ocean cave
of my mind

— The End —