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A cake shared with everybody
Except me

Everyone anticipating slices

So no wishes

No blowing out tiny fires in vain

No spitty frosting
Little traces of yourself embedded deep into the pits of other's stomachs

Instead tie a balloon to wrist

Showing age in slow shuffling

Open ribbon
Unwrap the gift I painstakingly chose for you this year-
NOTHING!
When someone else has their cake, eats it, and then proceeds to eat your slice as well.
I never dream
I am grateful for that

You used to experience night terrors

No idea why
They occured every single night when you were young

I have nothingness until morning wakes me up with a brutal slap to the face

You occupy daydreams though
It is odd that in that realm you still retain that indifferent demeanor
As if I have conjured up your essence for a few minutes

Peculiar how you talk to me in the familiar condescending tone I have grown used to the past two years

Unusual because I would rather picture you the way I always yearned for you to be

My mind consistently has worked in a literal process though

Someone who left skull strives to remember exactly as they were

So in matter of seconds
Brain's wandering fantasies quickly transform into nightmares

Every occasion

So I attempt not letting my head wander these days

No amount of discipline enough to stop it

The harder I try containing it the more it roams
I rarely remember my dreams these days
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2023
You treat me like minefield
Challenging to navigate
Wrong step will cause me to explode
You take caution with your gait
Got pocketfuls of problems
Neither can seem to fix
Each door we try to open
Leads to wall of bricks
You keep telling me think positively
Optimism is the key to success
When the half-full glass topples over
Still makes the same size mess
Got a fence built between bodies
Separating flaws we don't wish to see
Compatability questionable
Cannot be who you want me to be
Your expectations of me skyscrapers
So high I will never reach the top
To scale distance I'd need to sprout wings
I won't fly because I'm scared of the drop
Good enough worry is not what I am
Painting your colors dark grey
Overhead clouds pour rain and we're drowning
Wouldn't blame you if you decided not to stay
I am fragile like a bomb not fragile like a flower
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2023
The first thought emerging in morning mind:
"World blind to suffering"
Is winding road going where I desire?
Question I'm reluctantly uttering
It's hard not to wake up on the wrong side of the bed when the world is such a terrible place these days
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2023
The universe is not as big as it seems
It is bigger
A quote by yours truly
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