If I were able to share with you truth
I would climb into your swirling thoughts
Between constellations forming questions
Draw answers to connect the dots.

I would  spell my reasons out in bold print
The "Hows", "Did yous", and "Whys"
Maybe then you could see they are more
Than tired excuses and alibis.

I'd pour my pain in honest ink
Into crevices of your brain
So you'd realize what betrayal feels like
Maybe my agony will leave a stain.

For how else do I make you see
How much I truly care?
I love you way too hard it seems
That's why I can't be there.

I'm bursting with opinions unspoken
Yet do not dare tell you how I really feel
Because that never seems to help us progress
Only strengthens our inability to heal.

I long to teach you how to grow
Or how to love yourself
But how could i possibly do that
When I do not even love myself?

Are we doomed to misunderstand?
I have enquired about this before before
In the end spin tragic circles
Never reaching peace we are searching for.

Hours pass by, brain dwelling
Answers tricky to find
Tired of chasing information not given
Lonelienss is pushing me out of my mind.

My brain clouded with thoughts of you
Want to make them disappear
Beauty that used to color my world
No longer fills my drab atmosphere

Ears are haunted by words you said
Parts of conversations had
Curse my eardrums suddenly
Assaulting like pop-up ads

Pain we felt is written in
The heavy way limbs move
Lines in folds of my crossed arms
As I wait for you to change, improve

Sleeping in a steely freeze
Promise I won't stay here forever
Stars may light our fragile paths
This is the place we finally sever

Put my toughest armor on
Been crying out for help
Swirling thoughts shouting in an angry tone
Crush my existence, make this world Hell

The universe we loved is gone
Our make-believe yet beloved perfection
Walls collapsing, illusions wrecked
Destroyed over and over by deception

The pattern of desperation must cease
Pitiful unexplainable misery repeated
I offer silence as a truce of sorts
Heart beaten, weak, and mistreated

Wish I could forget your name
Memories flood my mind
All the time we spent together was in vain
Crying for what is left behind

What is wrong with my emotions?
The odd ones don't make sense
The beautiful intricacies of my soul
At times are too deep and intense

Drowning in gaping irreperable despair
I think of our unfortunate fate
Cried an ocean of wasted tears
For the person I should hate

I do not know why I'm still in love
Miss days my heart felt free
The vibrant hues giving meaning to life
Your colors have faded from all I see