Do you love me
Or the fact I love you?
Do you want me
Or only my love?

Do you like how I make you feel
Or how you make me feel?

I wonder,
Will your love stop
After mine does
Or will it go on?

Is it something about me
Or is it all about you?

Just tell me baby,
Why do you love me?


F.Z.N

Would Earth
be better or worse,
  With
more
  like
me.

Pain. It hurts so bad
Shattering you inside.

Pain. Your beating heart
Is no longer alive.

Pain. Your weary eyes
Are blinded with dark lights.

Pain. The suffering
And guilt of your life.

Pain. Your teardrops
Stain your blotchy face.

Pain. Your veins throb
Expelling adrenaline as you fade.

Pain. Your mind goes blank
You don't have the attention you crave.

Pain. Your lips are cracked
After crying for hours straight.

Pain. You're shivering with cold
And no one will keep you safe.

Pain. Peer over the edge
Estimating the fall.

Pain. It's all you have
Once you fall in love.

This is my story,
so it will be.
Open your eyes,
but don't cry for me.

Started at five,
dad home from work
I had to grab him a beer,
oh, what a ****!!

Everyday he came home,
more drinks would follow,
off came the belt,
making me hollow.

Yelling commenced,
my mom on the floor,
"What did you say,
You ******* *****! !"

My screams were but silent,
in my own empty head.
Get out of this place,
wished I was dead.

Many years did follow,
of abuse on the walls,
Pounding and slamming,
No crying no calls

I never did laugh
and never did smile.
Just went to school,
getting by for awhile.

Once the darkness
Ruled the night.
You could not see
By candlelight.

Now the lights
Are bright...

They WIN!

But it's darker than
It's ever been.


SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) October 2, 2014

Girl,you're pretty
Now stop starving
just to be skinny

Girl, you're beautiful
Nothing can get down
Now eat that meal till your tummy's full

Girl, your life is precious
Don't risk it like this.
Walk with your head held high
And look at the positive things

Girl, I know it's hard
Near relapses, family
and your inner war
Learn to stay strong
Ignore their taunts.

Girl, remember you're beautiful
Someday someone's going to love you
and fade all of your blues.

Girl, you're you
With your talents
and dimensions
Those models on cover pages will never be you

I remember the first day,  I walked into class,
At seven years old saying "This will be a blast!"

The classroom was full, the bell did ring
Lessons being taught, so it begins

Recess starts, the teams are split
Standing alone, the last one picked

Slowly it starts, as laughter and fun
but deep inside, I am seeing no sun

The nicknames had started, not laughing inside
but what did I do, starting to cry

Never belonging or being accepted
being myself, I felt dissected

From 2nd to 3rd and up into 8th grade
the bullies got worse, fearing into fade

Freshman to Senior, I thought I was stronger
Hitting my point, it started to boil over

It was one little word that threw me over the edge
Couldn't take it no more, all that was said

I stood up to the bully, on that great day,
all was released, feeling no shame

But it doesn't stop there, the torment goes on
At night, I dont sleep, I just sing a song

That song never ends, forever on that round
it never skips a beat, listen to the sound

Decades goes on, never forgetting the names
What has happened to me? Am I going insane?

These are the first names that tortured my young soul
Always in my mind, but never letting go

So Danny, Robert, Terry and Andy
You are not very special or very well dandy!

Oh Michael and Chuck and Bill, I remember
stand up to call, hell is your number

Chris, Steven, and even Brad
Life's but a mystery,  so why are you so sad

I tried to forgive you deep in my heart
Why did you bully me? TEARING MY WORLD APART!!