I’m trying to convince my friends that I don’t like you anymore and that I only think of you as a brother.
But am I trying to convince them or myself?
I close my eyes and see your ridiculous smile
I see you in the faces of my school mates
I see you everywhere
My heart aches every time I think of you
Is this love?
Love don’t exist
I see the proof is my friends heartbreak and my parents fights
But how do you manage to make me feel like this
Get out of my head you’re driving me crazy
You’re torturing my brain
This is an endless torture
You’re a personal devil sent straight from the fires of hell to torture me
To make my heart crumble as I listen to you talking about another girl
Feel my heart break into a million pieces and crumble into ashes as I see you with another girl
This is against everything that I stand for
I refuse to let this get to me
I will be immune to you
I will be immune to everyone else
I will be heartless
Your eyes are killer to me.
'Sharp as the blade that cuts
Emotions out of me
&Your; stare is cold as can be
But it was never really like this
Could've sworn your arms
Used to be more inviting
But oh, i built a fence around my heart to keep you out
But you've found a way in, to my head somehow..
(And that's a dangerous entrance)
So how, how can i move on
When you're everywhere i go?
Oh but if theres one more thing you need to know, before you exit..
I'm in a maze but please don't find me..
I'm in a dream but don't you wake me..
I'm in a world where there is no one else quite like me..
And i'm in love, but please don't save me.
Cause i'm afraid you can't save me,
You made me love love and now it hates me,
And now i don't know if i should be heartless..
'Cause maybe things would hurt less
If i used my heart less..
And if all is fair in love and war..
Won't you tell me how this self loathing war ends?
I knew the day would come.
My heart swelled and shattered
Like glass off of my ribcage,
It was nothing but dust now.
In an instant my heart became soluble.
my heart was inevitably yours once more.
I wanted you to never come back
I hoped you would make your home in Boston.
My delicate heart was not ready for you so soon
And I was not ready to give my heart away.
Especially to you.
But she ran from me,
Slipped through the cracks in my rib cage
and ran straight for you.
So here I am still sitting in silence
Still replaying impracticable situations
That will never become reality.
My heart is long gone now,
She always ran faster than my head.
With a mind of her own,
I am now heartless
I never chose to be heartless
My heart broke, I just couldn't keep the peaces
I Never thought anyone could ever mend it
To myself I thought "what's the use of keeping something broken?"
I lost hope..... My mind was filled with hatred, I turned into a lier, a busted ,a jerk ,a hypocrite, a traitor you name it... Just to get my revenge ,everyone was a victim I just didn't care, I knew I wasn't fair But it eased the pain When you and I met ,no lie I got your name. On the list too But you were different,you got me patient,got rid of the fatuous me.... Then you gave me your heart ,gave me Hope, taught me how to love Without knowing I was deeply falling for you My heart grew fonder,started caring ,feeling,loving..... couldn't believe it Thought my mind was playing tricks on me It wasn't I was in love once again.........
I heard noises.
soft then heavy
hard and slow
the closer I drew
the more confident
I looked to you
cold and distant
you were afraid
'please don't cry'
in the corner
of your dark room
covered in blood
was your heart
I kissed your hole
hopeful for a new start