I was alone deep within my thoughts lost in nature.
in other words passed out in the park as usual from a night of deep research and binge drinking hey everyone needs a fucking hobby okay.
I was just about to do some deep sea diving I'm kidding it's more like explore the hot tub with Jennifer Aniston and Lawrence hey I bought those goggles why not put them to some good perverted use right?
When all the sudden I was pulled from my wet dream utopia and brought to reality with some strange hamster dressed like a troll throwing bean bags at my head Jesus Christ this is why I stopped passing out in truck stops.
I banish you strange drunken wizard with a banishing spell .
he said as he kept throwing his strange little bean bags at me I tell you
you have to worry about a man playing with his bean bags in the park I mean sure that kind of shit flew in third world countries like Canada
but here in the states we had guns so we could protect areselves and go hunting cause who doesn't love some male bonding?
Or buying a A-K 47 to blow the living crap out of everything insight .
Fuck the woods it's filled with to many fury hippies to began with and what wall doesn't say high class better than some animals head on it looking like it just got prison raped.
Yeah it looks so natural and dead that is .
But enough with the foreplay and back to the bean bag throwing troll nerd .
Hey man your supposed to exit the playing field after I hit you with that dumbass .
The strange dressed nerd said then snickred to with fellow dork homies.
You got to love newbies they don't even know a level 12 troll God from a horny cave spider.
They all seemed to be smoking crack for they all busted up laughing at this strange little escaped from the asylum hamster.
I wasn't sure if I should just run or try to speak with these odd nerd folk they kind of of reminded me of Muppets on acid yeah that was a bad trip don't ask.
Boy I never knew Miss Piggy was such a slut or a gymnast.
Excuse me gaydolf
So is there so reason you woke me up or are you just off your meds and looking to throw your bean bags at the first drunken in semi coma person you find sleeping on a bench ?
Your not part of the game?
The strange little troll nerd asked me and from the surprise in his voice I could tell this weird little hamster was on some great fucking drugs once told me two things.
One I needed to dump these weirdo's like a truck stop burrito.
And two I had to find out who his doctor was cause I wanted triple of whatever this kid was having .
No sir I'm not part of a game or show unless it's being the judge of a wet t shirt contest cause I do believe in supporting the boobies.
Hey fuck the whales save the boobies they look awesome and who cares bout the environment duh there's sharks in there didn't you ever see jaws besides everyone knows I'm allergic to water.
That's why I drink whiskey its much better for you besides ever see flipper hop out the ocean for a bathroom break ?
Hey this dude isn't part of the realm were in he's just some old ass drunk.
Another strange hamster said to his Troll friend.
Oh sir I do beg your pardon here take this .
The troll nerd handed me a bottle .
Now this was more like it I kicked it back and tasted the most foul tasting shite I'd ever tasted in my life .
Dear lord man what is this shit! ?
Umm its called bottled water dude the troll replied .
I looked at the plastic container in a mix of total disgust and hell these kids were into some weird shit.
Water huh tastes like shit what the hells the proof ?
Umm it's water dumbass it doesn't have a proof .
I tried to grasp what the two headed tall one had said but was lost .
How could anyone drink anything not to catch a buzz what twisted sick little bastards had I run across?
I had enough of these strange garden gnomes shit I reached for my trusty flask a hit of some good old 80 proof trying to rid myself of the taste of this poison called water .
Look I do not even want to know what your nerds are up to but unless it involves some hot stripper elves a bottle of cooking oil and a twister game count me out.
Looking at me like most people do with that mix of confusion and a feeling like they needed a bath there strange leader spoke up.
Sir you have to understand we are larping and on a quest we simply confused you for another drunken wizard .
Well I can understand that my sexually confused nerd friend but I think you need to seriously go on a quest with me .
Your on a quest the troll dork asked lighting up like Taylor Swift after just stealing the soul of yet another misguided hamster and brainwashing millions in to believe she actually had talent or a soul I'm just saying .
Yes Gaydolf I'm on a mighty quest to get my magic staff blown by some cheap hooker but enough about my barely legal wife.
Yeah the internets filled with perverts and if you search long enough you might just luck out and find your very own hooker with a heart of gold or drunken long winded perverted bastard like myself .
Sir I have you know me and my knights of honor are true gentlemen why we need no pleasures of cheap whores we have the company of each other songs and campfires to drive are passions who here amongst my circle would like to follow this demented nut on some sleaze bag quest for the earthly pleasures of the flesh?
The little troll nerd turned around to see his round table of fellow weirdo's gone .
What the fuck!
We could here his cries as me and my new crowd of odd little dressed hamsters were off to the Hotseat strip club in search of booze ,Strippers and hopefully trick one of these naughty dancing hamsters into a quest play hide the sword in the well you get the point.
cause hopefully someone with some cheesy name like sparkle or Bambi or Candy would .
Sir Gonzo the strange looking Cyclops of my new entourage asked?
Yeah what is it amigo?
Do you not fear the wrath of the troll gods mom?
I mean she did bring us all here in here minivan and all.
Well my one eyed nerd friend in are quests you will learn many things there are to fear .
But nothing far worse than the river of fire that spews from thy staff after a goodnight with the wench of the back alley.
Oh no worries Sir Gonzo I have plenty of spell packs of penicillin .
Hey does dirty Debra still do that trick with a ping pong balls and a picture of Kanye Wests face?
We can only hope my one eyed friend you know I cant believe you know bout dirty Debra I said with a bit of surprise in my already getting there drunken lets get this fucking shitty arse story over voice.
Duh what do you think I am one of those twilight homos sir Gonzo?
My Cyclops nerd friend replied.
that night was epic we laughed we darnk we watched a Canadian cave troll totally make out with a Tranny from the magic kingdom Minnie mouse is such a freak and I know what your saying like the nut that wrote this shite isn't?
Thank you hamsters that truly means a lot.
Are quest was epic are night spoke of in nerds who dream only to grasp a dirty strippers boobies let alone snort coke off there arses .
I never saw my socially awkward friends again yeah I bet that troll nerd Billy Gates sits even now wishing he truly had grabbed life by the bean bag and sized the day I wonder what ever happened to him.
Stay Crazy hamster .
Always your Captain of the insane
Broken down more than I care to confess.
old roads and sweethearts of the moment the taste of bitter ends goes good with a bourbon and coke .
Blowing smoke rings across the room of some run down dive it's all part of just being me.
Tomorrow I will find good use for dark glasses and a one time call.
I'll see you in a week sugar I'm doing fine and other well intended lies just part of the drive .
Some good laughs and better drugs does it ever grow old boys?
I cant say it does but I dam sure have to late to turn back now.
A blues chord and some broken strings was it ever a choice for the gentle were never intended to understand one as perfectly wicked as me.
I been running taking shelter with whomever I can find .
Photographs of my thoughts like perfume that lingers only within my mind .
It's another journey ahead and some laughs between the vices yearn maybe it's just the urge to know we still feel a fucking thing at all are simply fuel to still make that page bleed .
Maybe you can share I have to many secrets so I guess I will just listen
with a drink in hand .
Moments last lifetimes cherish that place in which you can confide.
As the arts in the phases scattered cross dark corners and a shared embrace.
I have fallen from the mountain only to find myself on the other side again.
Watched friends fade and I still hold them true I drink with you even in your absence goddam the good will always keep my blind to the fucked up shit I no longer recall .
We run until the sunsets fade to repeat again .
Dust to bones forever the fool and always a fast friend.
I have survived it still I care to ignore the sign .
For that highway echo's something a promise can never truly deliver .
I'd stay here longer but the devils always only seconds away.
Maybe one day I will stop or maybe just hang around long enough to stick him with the tab.
Maybe it's not knowing what the fuck will happen or if you will even make it back to begin with that draws me like a moth to a flame .
Maybe I'm just so far gone and this is one step further from the edge and I know the madness will somehow keep me sane .
Headlights and strangers harsh faces echo my direction towards nothing and everything in-between.
The road is a lover whom never returns that affection and maybe that's why you only want her more .
Small towns paint my backdrop as I chase sunsets maybe we will share this view without knowing my friends and maybe my story will find its end.
I cant pretend to know the outcome I just embrace the tornado and laugh at the destruction nothing sometimes means more than any
trinket clenched like a anchor it only binds us to one spot.
I embrace the winds and challenge the storms .
I am the ghost whom chose to be a whisper.
A shared bottle now empty memories will paint my epitaph.
Tomorrow is a mystery and I only care to be part of this madness
Some questions are best left unanswered .
I will see you again my friends .
In his seasons passing words wither and fade with the sunsets reprise.
These images paint portraits with grey backdrops tattered, twisted throwing stones across the pond only to hear them vanish in the dark waters below.
All the pretty flowers fully in bloom untouched by earth and unsoiled in the dirt of corruption of an existence lived in regret.
Bitter pills and torn pages have we not traded are truths to be lies created for are own protective womb of deceit to fulfill our ego.
All the pretty flowers wither just the same.
As standing skeletons left only to haunt the backdrop of our thoughts decay.
Are we not monsters?, Who once stood as men with great views whose vices consumed them turning us into something we can barely recognize ourselves.
Soil once fertile now seems only scorched a barren square of emptiness once were all things did grow.
All the pretty flowers mourn springs passing this concrete idealism for which no direction seems to suit us best.
I stand where here no longer will anything grow.
Old reflections and new revelations seem mired by my past.
Words thrown together for amusement the wreckage now simply a skeleton for children to play.
Sandalwood spent offerings the afterglow has long since left us cold now it lingers only in whispers somewhere within the catacombs of a dream I so eagerly forget and relive with each tune played .
Does it still seem the same from you distant view my dear?
And old fights passions spent dried blood and a once in the moments ecstasy and a bitten lip.
How it seems a stranger now a old sentiment for a even older fool.
To hell with the memories they stand a tides pool of nothing I give a fuck to embrace .
Maybe the nights are backdrop a story overplayed but none so beautifully fucked up as you.
Sureal is it now as my pavement of reality old faces and new enemies it's so fucking overplayed sweetheart almost as I.
We are nothing more than the example of the carnage .
Scars shared echoes of a illusion and are shared delusion how we laughed with the crash.
Tell me do they linger fragments misspent with others we react are ways with such bit players and one night stands where did we become
so jaded in a perfect sense.
Its all a act of repeat .
I dialed the number and simply hung upo before there could be a response .
For that train was derailed long before it met the station my dear .
just because I never reached out .
Don't ever believe I once did not care .
Lies we tell to are souls turn us to bitter old fools .
And this was my cue.
Exits are simply roads to yet another stage .
And mine was set long before my words reprise .
Yeah sometimes you just can't avoid that rear view mirrors
gaze no matter what kind of bastard you have become.
Never pen your dreams on me for my thoughts are embers of a once ever so bright fire.
Tatters of thought bury the recluse now they simply confide in me a lost fool who truly never gave a shit to begin with.
The fighter that's tried and worn his body broken his will the only thing left that he holds true.
When you have drown in your vices from this bottom will you emerge or simply settle for a good rest ?
past glory and worn lines my story is a cliff note to the bullshit the will imagine .
Empty bottles and the scars to show the rroads end and all is left to return.
When they break you they will simply find another kid .
And life will pass you by as it has me.
Watch the patterns only to break the rules no outlaw fades easily.
And the sad old men we've become isn't a scene I care to relive much longer.
Nobody will be surprised for it been long overdue but I could never exist on another's terms.
I rather crash and burn than fade gracefully I am sorry to disappoint
but the hand was shit to begin with kids .
It's not always the way we see it but In life do we seldom write the ending.
Maybe the page understands me far better than I understand myself anymore .
Well when you get there as I you wont envy the others only realize the roads been paved long before your words where nothing g more than whispers .
Bury your ego for it has nothing to gain.
I view the highways end a different man than the young fool who cast his cares to the wind.
It's time to bury mine .
We played the act for as long as possible but to the naked eye it was so easily clear.
As the radio cry's old memories I realize are thoughts were bleak as this half delusion cast view .
Take my hand as one last time we embrace only to close the chapter .
Nobody can see the man for the character maybe I simply asked to much of you and to little of myself.
It's no longer there sweetheart so to you and the reader I must say this farewell.
Chapters close and pages fade nothing understands the pain but with time soon none will recall.
We know the memories now it's simply time to erase the void .
I hate this choice but tonight is as good as the next.
Shards of broken glass once held fragments of are half truths.
Secrets will seldom remain so try not let them bury you as me.
The nights magic no longer is my spark and this page has far better
company to keep.
Treat her well as she once did treat me.