Knowing what I know now,
And if I could go back,
Would I take the time to change,
Review myself and backtrack?
I honestly don’t know,
Only a guess I could make,
To say that actually I’d choose to stay the same.
The events of my life made me who I am now,
For better or worse,
I have have strength in me now.

If you could go back,
Would you change anything?
I hope not because to not be you would be a sin.
You are an amazing person,
And don’t you forget it,
To change that now,
Would make you regret it.

To be human is truly an enigma,
A puzzled desperately waiting to be solved.
Are we this,
Or are we that?
The answer to which we may never know.
More and more questions emerge,
As life begins to unfold.
Questions without answers,
Just more pieces for us to hold.
We start with nothing,
And we end up the same.
But we hold all of the parts,
On our journeys way.
We try to assemble it,
The best that we can.
Our painting is a mess,
A puzzle full of holes,
Until the day we decide,
That enough is enough,
And that we should just enjoy our lives.
We drop all the pieces,
And close our eyes,
We take a deep breath,
For the very last time.
And just for a moment,
We can enjoy the ride.
Right up until we say our final goodbyes.

They look at me,
It’s like they think I know.
They ask me for direction,
As if I know where to go.
I try my best to provide it,
But there is no way to hide it.
The fact that I just don’t have a clue.
So don’t look to me,
I don’t know what to do.
Don’t ask me,
I’ve nothing to tell you.
Don’t pray to me,
I have no way to save you.

Life is hard,
That’s the way it’s meant to be.
We try so hard,
This is easy to see.
They say hard work pays off in the end,
On this I disagree.
How can death be the payout,
That doesn’t seem good to me.
We fight,
We struggle,
This is what makes our life.
If it was easy we’d have no reason,
No reason to fight,
And push for something better.
The final destination is irrelevant,
It’s the journey that makes us.

We start with nothing,
And we end up with the same.
It’s the events in the middle,
That defines the nature of our game.
For some it’s intense, fiery and short.
For others it’s a careful and considerate walk.
We strive for difference,
Yet we achieve deadly equality.
We try to make our mark,
Just to be remembered.
But in the end we fade,
Like we knew we would from the start.
With nothing left behind,
Not a scrap to be measured.
Is it worth all the effort,
Just to then disappear.
All the pain we experience,
Year upon year.
Should I stop now,o
And just give up here?
Or should I push on,
Despite my desperation and fear?

When we are running
We are not thinking
When we are lot thinking
We are truly living.

We imprison ourselves in thought
We prevent ourselves from growing
We stay stuck in the same place
Which stops us from going.

If only we could be
Both thoughtful and free
Only then in life
Could we get what we need.

We restrict ourselves from growth
We build a prison out of the mundane
We see freedom outside
And we tell it to go away.

If only I could see
What I does to me,
If only you could believe,
What you do to you.

Will there ever be a time when you consider my feelings?
Or will I, to you, always hold no meaning?

My emotions are not toys to be played with.
My heart is hardly beating.
From all this pain and struggle,
I’m barely able to continue feeling.

I tell you my feelings don’t matter,
But really I think they do.
My cold and weary heart is struggling,
Yet desperate to continue.

Every time you take,
more of me falls away.
There will come a time,
Although not on this day,
When there is nothing of me left.
Not even my remains.

But hold back your tears and remain strong of heart,
Because you don’t need me anyway,
You didn’t from the start, nor any other day.

Patience is power over the effects of time,
Patience is the power to let the negativity subside.
Knowing when to move,
And when to stay in line.
We don’t all have it,
But we do all need it.
You have the patience of a saint,
I have an inability to wait.
You have what I need,
But cannot give it to me.

They say I have fire in my soul,
They say I have passion in my heart,
But that’s only part of me,
Just half of the whole.

Within me lies a monster,
A beast of infinite darkness.
The lighter side of me,
That’s my internal fraudster.

There are parts of me that I do not show.
For fear of your reaction,
If you saw the real me,
Surely you would not want to know?

Of myself I am unsure,
If I am truly worthy.
When I look in the mirror I see the monster,
Of this I am sure.

I have pain in my head that won’t go away.
A constant headache that is with me everyday.
No let up, no reprieve,
Just constant thumping pain for me.
I feel like my head could burst,
And what a relief that wold be,
Because the continuation of pain is truly the worst.
Surgeons cut me open,
My brain they could see.
Why is it that they still have not been able to fix me?
My tumour is gone,
But my brain feels the same.
The danger has passed,
But the suffering won’t go away.

To me you are my world,
My only reason for existence.
But you seem so unhappy,
Is there something I’m missing?
Do you have what you need?
If not then tell me, I will listen.
Do you need more love?
More than is given?
Do you need a helping hand?
Or are you strong and Indipendant?
Do you need more support?
Or is that already given?
Do you need space?
Or is too much the issue?
When I see you hurting,
I need you to tell me something.
To me you are my world,
Far more than just my children.

For ten years I have poured my energy into you,
For ten years you have just said ***** you.
You all stand there,
All three of you.
Watching me fade away into nothingness,
Enjoying the sight of my growing emptiness.

I give you love and affection,
You give me abjection,
Hurt and despair.
Am I truly deserving of such negative inflection?
Have I in that time hurt you, as you hurt me?
Or have I showed you that I care?

I’d love to say no more,
But I am not that person that you seem to deplore.
I am here but I have feelings too,
Not everything in this world is about you.

Knowing and knowing are two different things,
Therefore ignorance on two counts is an additional sin.

Not knowing and not showing,
That’s one more for the list.
If you don’t know then don’t pretend,
Because you will be caught out, in the end.

Not knowing but asking, this is ok.
If you don’t ask then you don’t find out,
Or so all the old boys would say.

But you ask and they laugh,
On the way home you cry all the way.

You would love to be smart and know everything.
But when you ask they laughed, you just can’t win.

You say you want love,
Then why ignore your mum?
She cares for you deeply,
And you know she does.
You say she doesn’t talk enough,
But you ignore her when she does.
You want to feel connection,
And love in all its celebration.
You need some support,
But you dismiss her when beside you she tries to walk.
All she wants is to be your mum,
To care for her children,
Every single one.

I try to be happy,
But life has other ideas.
I try to be a good man,
Yet all I feel is pain through these tears.
Maybe one day it’ll all be worth it,
Or maybe I’ll be dead.

Life is hard,
In this I have no doubt.
If my experience has taught me anything,
It’s that there really is no way out.
When you find one,
Don’t bother to shout.
When I approach,
It’ll just shut down.

Do I give into the darkness?
Or do I continue on regardless?

Excuse me there,
May I be so bold,
As to ask you fair and square,
If it is me you would like to hold?

You can hold my hand,
You can put your arm around me,
You can do whatever or do nothing,
It’s your choice, if you want me.

For me there is only one thing,
Just one thing in life that I need,
And that is you stood beside me,
In times of joy and times of need.

Nothing makes us feel more old,
Than having responsibilities,
When you have a head full of cold.
No snuggles for you,
You’re an adult now.
Get off your behind,
Go help others to fly.
A cold is minor as Illnesses go,
Something we cope with,
And still get up and go.
But wouldn’t it be better,
If we could relax,
Take the time to heal,
Instead of sprinting towards collapse.
But instead we tell ourselves,
That we’ll be ok.
That we will live on to fight another day.
We just won’t enjoy it, not that it matters anyway.

Why does my imperfect action,
Create such a negative reaction?

Why does your malicious intent,
Leave me feeling spent?

Am I really to blame?
I think so, do you say the same?

Do we have a future together,
The continuation no matter the weather?

Are we destined to soar,
Love, pain, and everything more?

Am I just a number?
What am I worth,
Is my value equal to my impact,
Or am I suffering diminishing returns?

Am I just a name?
How am I defined?
Am I a man of means,
Or the poorest you’ll see?

Am I just a resource?
What am I to you?
Do I hold any meaning to you,
Or am I just useful?

Am I just a moment?
How will you remember me?
Will I be thought of fondly,
Or will I just fade into the void of the forgotten past?

Am I really alive?
How do I measure my existence?
Am I truly living,
Or am I merely surviving?

Where do you draw your line in the sand?
Is it lonely where you stand?
Do you need love and support,
Or do you need space to walk?
We all have our side,
There is no team.
Just the place we stand,
And nowhere in between.
Our position is empty,
Our hearts lonely and weak.
Under us the ground crumbles at our feet.
We start to fall,
With no chance of reprieve,
Only eternal darkness,
Looking for the light we seek.

Have you ever stopped to look?
To take it all in,
With your own eyes and ears,
To see the birds sing.
Beauty is all around,
It’s far and it’s near.
If only you took a moment,
Just to see and to hear.

If I told you my truths you’d run a mile
I’d be left feeling empty all the while
The truth about me is plain to see
For those interested in me.
I am what I am,
I feel what I feel
And I think what I think.
Do you really want to know?
Or is this just another attempt to feign care?
Do you really just want my attention?
Instead of my love and affection?
Do you know me?
I mean the real me, not just my outward facade?
Do you want to feel me?
Or do you just want me to feel you?
Am I really the monster I think I am?

We all want to live a little,
We all want to love a lot.
But you don’t get to decide,
Regardless of whether you like it or not.
So let go of your current misconceptions,
They only weigh you down,
With no exceptions.
We all have wants,
We all have needs.
Nobody has the life they chose,
Just the one they lead.

Will we be able to see each other again?
The Pain in my heart still burns the same
it’s been so long
I barely remember your face
Whenever I think of you
My broken heart starts to race
My mind is an inferno
My heart colder than space
The darkness consumes me
Despite my smiling face
Am I destined to relive
That fateful day
When the universe looked down
And swiped you away
My son I love
This I think you know
That day still kills me
The day you had to go
To my forever angel
The guardian of my soul
I’m sorry I never got to you
Before you were cold
Daddy still loves you
And will never let you go

I can sense your fear,
And that’s ok.
To be completely fearless in life,
That’s living the stupid way.
Fear is smart,
It keeps you alive.
Fear is careful,
It forces you to use your mind.
Fear can be shared,
I’ll show you mine.
For me fear is important,
It’s why I’m still alive.
Through all the pain and suffering,
One thing is clear,
The only real consistency in life is fear.

For you I worry,
For you I cry,
For you I would ****,
For you I would lay down my life.

For me you are my best friend,
For me you are my world,
For me you are inspirational,
For me you are amazing.

For us the world creates problems,
For us the world wants separation,
For us the world wants us to end in different destinations,
For us the world wants us to feel disconnection.

For you I would walk to the ends of the earth,
For you I would fight for all I’m worth,
For you I would do anything,
For you I would walk through the flames of hell carrying you in my arms.

I have lost someone today,
From me they were taken away.
I would love for them to fight to stay,
But that’s not going to happen,
Not for me anyway.

When a loved one is lost,
The heart is ripped in two.
When a loved one leaves,
A sadness builds in me.

Goodbye sweet kid,
Good luck with your life.
If you need me I’ll be here,
But it’s unlikely you’ll call.

I love you lots,
Much more than you’ll ever know.
I can’t take this loss,
But this everyone already knows.

We walk our paths as we step on the road,
No love, no release, just cobble and stone.

We have no direction, no place and no home
Just light stepping on these raging roads

For we are the broken, the angry, the few
Are we really so different, or are we just like you?

Are we so deserving of the distrust and dissent?
Are we really so damaged that we can’t make a mends?

We have tolerance and love, inclusive of all
We have passion and fire, unknown by the fools

We are the young, yet still are the weary
An entire generation screaming, why can’t you hear me?

Hatred is not a crime,
It’s a side effect of life.
No feelings should be taboo,
They’re what makes us who we are.
So when you feel hatred,
Don’t feel shame,
Because it’s just a feeling,
And they’re all the same.
They’re just chemicals floating around our brains.
So instead of worrying about hate,
Address the situation that made you feel that way.
Make that better and your negative feelings will go away