the way you held her tight
the way you called her babe
they way I liked her
the way I felt the love
you have for one another.
It still hurts
even though I wish
more than anything
to not let you
in my heart
Like that.

I know you're holding her
right now.
The way you did with me for those two weeks.
The way you have with her for two years.

missing you
or missing the memories.
The loving looks,
the long nights,
the never ending drives.
I miss your attention
our daily check ins
our "step by step".
But something
interrupted my love
for you.
I still don't know what
why
or how.

It's too easy to talk to you
you know me
you know my emotions

I wish you did.
The line will be drawn
and I'll let go
I feel it all
But nothing.
at this point
In time
I want more
Nothingness.
I've never
craved numbness.
But I get it now.
It's peaceful
Less chaotic,
but underwhelming.