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 Jun 2015 Yasha Harkness
caroline
i saw a girl who looked lifeless
painted behind bars,
i've never met the artist,
but i wonder how they knew to paint me
We have lost so much
What if we can’t make it?

We have made so much
What if we can’t live it?

We have lived so much
What if we can’t love it?

We have loved so much
What if we can’t take it?

We have taken so much
What if we can’t give it?

We have given so much
What if we can’t lose it?
Nothing
looks familiar
anymore and
I want to go home
but nowhere
feels like
it anymore.

When bluffs
get boring
I trade them
for fields.

When two
lakes aren’t enough
I leave for
a forest of them.

Maybe it’s true
that home isn’t
a place but
a feeling.

Maybe
home
is me.

But
what if
home isn’t
a feeling,
but a person.

Maybe
home
is You.

For now
I’ll have to
carry all that
makes a home
in my bones
until I find
someone I can
unpack into
Still needs work, but I thought I'd still share!
Blood on my alarm clock
                  You felt so real
         I'm awake too early
           I've got time to ****
                   I close my eyes
      But can't fall back asleep
     Now you're only with me
         In every bad dream
I punctuate with close precision,
aware of where
I'm placing my semi-colons and
dashes,
using Oxford commas
like a grammar geek.

Your punctuation always bothers me
but you, with your misplaced apostrophes
and oddly abbreviated words
that you cradle in speech marks,
never care.

You were constantly callous in your conduct,
your handling of punctuation marks.
I assumed you never understood
the significance I attached to your words.

I could feel the excitement
and anxiety and apprehension
build in my belly every time
with your exclamation points!

I could feel my brows furrow together
deep in confusion,
every time you sent me just
one little question mark?

I suppose I never did tell you this
but when last month you ended your sentence
(accidentally, of course) with a dash,
well, I knew then that we’d be for ever.

and when last week you sent me
a comma to end your speech
I knew for certain that
more was to come.

but I see now it was silly
to attach such hope to a hyphen
because yesterday you concluded
with the biggest full stop I've ever seen
and let me know that that was all.

I felt that period’s punch
deep inside my gut
like you were trying to make me
throw up my jam and toast.

I had never before known
one small,
simple
dot
to be so powerful
and hurt so much.

It did though,
and you couldn't even tell-
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