"recreationally" poems
the bad news is coming in
we are being radically changed
be realistic
stop poisoning the air and water
stop soil erosion
stop degrading forest ecosystems
stop seducing children
stop buying politicians
realism
informs us
in a cuckoo clock
we
need a coninuous supply
of indifference and violence
toward people
all of us are suffering
recreationally
Dec 7, 2011
Dec 7, 2011 at 8:16 AM UTC
You and I
You
And
I
- I
Could drown myself in melted polar ice caps, or illusions of Niagara Falls (or does it?)
Could join a nudist colony
Could dismember my body parts 'recreationally'
Could (or will) document my own downward spiral/lay eggs in vast and immeasurable labyrinths/where the paradox of my self-pity mingles with my bragging/swaggering teen angst and date!-mate!-procreate!- into a thousand descendants of my rotting fleshhhhhh
- You
Present yourself in -
Hallways rambling in front of me with asylums spilling into corridors of confusion
Rrrrrrriiipppp of either paper pulling from notebooks or flesh pulling from bone
Virtual college applications tabbed over with two different Buy Your Own Russian Wife! websites and ignored by your -loving parents-
An arrogant 18-year-old boy standing before the Committee of Elders (pleading insanity)
Twenty-four permanent markers with generic names
The pseudo-poetic lure of "Call ___ For a GOOD TIME" graffitis on the bathroom wall of a Whole Foods you spend six weeks jacking off in
- Look, that's great and all, but
I think you are a (beanstalk), no time to (talk), less of a (walk) and more of a climb - to reach your face, and when I lean to kiss it (fee fi fo fum) I smell the blood of a human one
(I'm tired of stooping and I'm tired of looking at old people)
You
And
I
Could have Been Anyone!
But no,
Just more of the same.
Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 12:43 AM UTC
Head to the body
Swallow hot toddy
A dash of narcissism
To make the throat burn
Make my insides churn
A dollop of ego
And I'm getting drunk
On your self-absorbed funk
All mixed in hot
I do it recreationally
Unconnected emotionally
We pretend we care for one another
Feb 27, 2013
Feb 27, 2013 at 12:12 AM UTC
Same old poem, same old theme.
A love lost, heart broken, with dreams..
I said I love you. she said. define it.
she thought id fear her question, but really..I didn't mind it....
eloquence, heaven sent, from Aphrodite herself.
the allure of the angels, where afterhours are felt.
late night dreaming of the Goddess in you,
And my tongue isn't speaking from a partisan view.
the honor of honesty, your naked soul is what caught me.
scared to death of steep hills and this one was rocky.
but your blessings brought me courage, & your beauty is hope.
we live less than a park away, but your still thinking Knope.
ya we talk.. recreationally....
with all that love you posses, just a ration to me?
I know that rings cost money, but patience is free,
so let me tell you why I love you, then she turned to face me..
and I couldn't speak.
Inside, I could weep..
but how do I tell her she's the reason that for years I don't sleep..
a dreamer, turned dreamless...
the worst of diseases,
because others take your body..
but without your soul you need Jesus.
I told her every time I blink, I think.
and when I think,
I pray your blinking too.
weird way to describe it..
ya but I **** at speeches...
so she made me write it.
I wrote I love you, on a paper,
p.s once unfolded this statement will always be true.
with a rose in the middle, and a personal riddle,
a picture of the first time we met, and a drawing of a heart..
she said ...that's the best you got?
I said no, that's my worst, but if you don't love me as I'm cursed,
then you don't deserve the saying.
if you understand what I'm saying?
she said no....
Well, i **** at speeches.
I'm not good at writing too,
nor am I good at defining the word love from out the blue.
but I can tell you, I'll never cheat,
never flirt or take a peek,
ill delete,
every girl from my phone in just a week,
never one for deceit,
always pull back your seat,
on lonely days without contact I promise to go deep,
to understand your soul and the secrets you keep,
the blessings and curses and the reasons you weep,
hold you closer to the universe, caressing your cheek.
and if that's not enough ill even cook you some meat.
more importantly though,
I will forever grow,
and our hearts can mend together and resemble a glow.
she said.. but you can do all those things to any girl you meet..
I said but ill only do it for you...
she said why...?
I said, *** I love you...
she said Define it.
-afj
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 2:23 AM UTC
I said "You've never done this with someone like me"
She said "How do you know?"
Because there's no one like me
Most who **** me want to fight me
Most who fight me just say **** it
Because I'm so persistent they've just had enough of it
I read text books recreationally because I feel ignorant and unworthy
I go through self defeating tangents where I wake up at 2 pm and still fall asleep early
I've been called the most benevolent happy and loving person people have ever known
To other people I was a soulless destructive retch since I was barely grown
I tend to run into glass houses dual wielding stones
Money founds my philosophies so I spend most of my time alone
She looked disappointed, what was moans turned to groans
Then strapped up her bra and started the long journey home
Just being real lady.....
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 10:58 AM UTC
every single ******* thought ends in your name
and that'd be fine if i knew where to place the blame
not on you, surely
the only rational judgement is me
i hate myself for thinking this was real
do you take her out on dates? do you pay for her meals?
just like we used to
now all i can ******* do
is smoke and drink and pop a couple pills
i just wish you knew how it feels
to be completely sober and feel it's a problem
oh wait nevermind, im the ******* problem
i hope you tell them that my name is sorry
ill drink a whole bottle and pop a whole molly
its not because i want to be happy
i just dont want to feel all this pain that you left me
im going insane you're probably with her
and i bet that you just ******* dig her
i bet that she isnt as crazy as me
i bet she doesnt panic or get anxiety
i bet she is the reason that you are ******* smiling
but she is the reason that i am crying
and i promised myself that never again
would i trust anybody or let them in
and now im so ******* high
feeling like i might possibly die
but im not upset things could not be better
but when im gone i just hope you remember
and i hope you dont mind when i call you tonight
i took some acid im not feeling alright
but you'll get annoyed because you hate when i drop
and right before i spill my guts, you'll hang up
you think i can't handle **** and you're probably right
i might die tonight i really might
i just miss you so much and i ******* love you
does your new girl give it all to you?
does she do everything i couldnt possibly do?
is she good enough for you?
do you show her off to the whole crew?
im just rolling around in my room
smoked some and ate some mushrooms
i remember when i did this recreationally
now im getting rid of all this **** that you gave to me
i have so many questions and i dont want the answers
instead of you and i now, its you and her
i ******* hate that you don't care
im falling apart and youre well aware
and i just want to ******* drop dead
and all that **** you said replays in the back of my head
and i just want this all to end
a suicide letter sent through a text
i love you im sorry goodbye i press send
i try and i try and i try it doesnt work
all i can think of is your stupid smirk
i swallowed the whole bottle and my face is numb
how do i let you make me feel so dumb
i love you so much and im still your baby
even if you don't particularly want me
even if when you hold me its her on your mind
even if when you look for her its me you find
forever not good enough and forever still trying
and even though half the **** you say; you're lying
hiding **** away so it doesnt upset me
and we boht know that i am ******* crazy
if you even think of leaving
i will stop ******* breathing
my heart will skip a beat and you'll tell me i'm nothing
but with you i was finally something
and i lay in a strangers bed all alone
and you guys are probably ******* back home
i cant sleep in my bed because it still smells like you
**** you
**** you
i love you
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 7:36 PM UTC
I need a little pain every once in a while
Recreationally I suppose
Just to remind me that the taste of life isn't always sweet
Refresh me on why I'm here
To help people through the same thing
To me it's like ******
I love the pain
Savor it
Crave it when it's not around
The withdrawals rock me
My next fix is always better than the last
Apr 11, 2017
Apr 11, 2017 at 10:56 PM UTC
I ran out of cliches to use in my writing last year when you ran out of patience for my problems,
It was around the same time that we ran out of gas in the car because I got sidetracked again and instead of stopping I just kept driving because the song on the radio made me feel like I could breathe for once, and I planned our whole future when I went out to get milk but you were angry that I forgot the reason I left home, I came back empty handed and I still wonder now why you left me. It doesn’t feel right knowing that a year has passed and nothing that I have planted has grown or even budded, I starved some because I got distracted and others I smothered and they got overwhelmed and crumbled. I watched my lilacs collapse last Spring the same week you abandoned me and I’m sure I should have healed by now but it hit me only last week that I don’t know how. I don’t know if I’ve ever healed, or what it looks like outside of bandages and scars that I could watch turn white so I started reading about these homeopathic remedies for diseases I don’t have and I remember feeling like my body was going to give out every time I saw you in the summer and I blamed it on the heat but I spent most days inside in the AC. I wonder what the remedy is for that feeling because instead I tried to **** it and just felt weak. I would throw up and blame the alcohol and when my doctor asked me if I drank recreationally I told her no because there was nothing fun about blacking out to forget you and me. Last Valentine's day we had a bottle of wine and it only took me a cup to start crying and I remember you telling me you were disappointed when I didn't want to have *** which should have made me upset but I think what actually did was the fact that three months later I could drink an entire handle of ***** before throwing up and another half before I gave up on trying to kick this feeling that you might come back some day or the thought that I would take you back instantly when you never deserved me. I know that and still wonder why I feel so empty when I see old pictures of us in our teens.
Feb 14, 2017
Feb 14, 2017 at 8:15 PM UTC
I just had this light go off
in every brain cell I got
that as a young amorous lad
all full of it with no
other thoughts 'cept
girls and baseball
I might have come across
lustfully
or recreationally
the two )baseball and her moans( did meet,
with Susie in the back seat , in '75,
when I felt I could not hold back
long enough for her
to also reach the top of
Mount Ecstasy,
that is another story
so, several decades have passed
since grand
was
more grandiose, now
more with wisdoms
passions,
than the fertile
fumbling in a Rambler did
back when,
i think of words, and passion
more phonetically
than tactily.
And write as if
the metaphors
might bring the feeling
back.
Mar 9, 2016
Mar 9, 2016 at 11:55 PM UTC