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Nat Lipstadt Jul 2013
Mashup

Part I (and there is a Part II & III)

I mashup me, myself, and perhaps thee too.


Excerpts from my poems about poets, poetry and the process of compositions. In chronological order, earliest to latest.
---------------------------------------------------------­------------------

With words we paint,
With syllables we embrace,
Tasked and ennobled,
We are forever fully employed,
Missionaries to all,
You too, are one as well,
Your fate can't be renounced,

when the rusted unborn poem notion is almost done,
but remains unpublished,
for no beginning, no title, can be found,

Then I recall the cornucopia days,
when poems spilled forth like
there would never be a when they wouldn't,

I revisit my old friends, couplets, twins and triplets,
seeded inside every tear, happy or sad,
sweetly and freely,

my old friends, reread,
words rearranged in new combinations,
old poems, plants bearing new fruits,
re-titled all of them, one name,
a collection entitled,
My Solace.


My eyes, my eyes, see only the
Totality of this moment.
When mastery of multi-tasking
Is the single best poem this man ever
Penned with his entirety,
Of which not word survived
For its unspoken silence was its glory.

My compact with you is to
remind us all, through
music, dance, words (poetry) and love,
This is the only compact
with the power of human law.


Color me flesh ****,
Color me blue bottled,
Red ripped asunder,
The sweetness ascribed to my love poetry,
A subtraction of the bitterness of a failed life.
Colorist of my seams, my woven words,
I am white now, my canvas completed,
Waiting for another poet to write over it,
And chaining new words to what was prior writ.

Al,  what you did not ask was this:
With each passing poem,
I am lessened within, expurgated,
In a sense part of me, expunged,
Part of me, passing too,
Every poems birth diminishes me.


You ask me how I find the time,
(To write)
But time is not the issue,
For they, are all prepared, needing only recognition,
For they, are all in readiness, needing only composition.

For who's who in poetry
is all of us!
saviors and failures,
recorders and decoders,
night writers of the oohs and aahs
of dreams and nightmares.

When this poet cannot,
no longer, anymore,
tastes his poems upon your lips,
keep your poems within his heart,
then he breathes no more,
and becomes one who was, yet is,
because of you, in poetry.

Awful poetry, some good, you will write.
But write and write till your heart be calmed,
For even ancient kings felt the anguish  of the soul,
And we profit even today by King David's psalms.


This wizened fool has his hands full,
Mouths to feed, bread to earn and bake,
As midnight is almost nigh,
He rests prone and adds a verse to this old poem
He long ago scribbled down, grimace-smiles now,
Realizing there is little difference tween him and the
Sad Eyed Teenagers of the Lowland.

For poetry salves his wounds still, even now,
Unashamedly, he thinks, hallelujah!

The poem is the afterbirth,
A conflicts resolution, an outcome,
Battlefield debris, the residue of
An exacting vision, a sentiment surging,
And your army of words, inadequate to the task,
Fighting to capture that insight flashed,
Each word a soldier, disheveled,
Crying, let me live, let me be saved,
Let me make a poem,
Let it be inscribed upon my victorious flag.

The poem is the sweat left upon the brow,
Having exercised the five senses,
The salt of struggle and debate,
It's completion, each word,
Both a victory and a defeat.

To write but a single line,
That uplifts the heart,
Eases pain, gives delight to strangers,
And makes you laugh out loud
With shivery pleasure,
That usurps a whole day and night,
That is a poet's true measure.

Mastery of the poetic,
Measured not in quantity,
But in tears of satisfaction
When others love the taste
Of newly born stanzas
Upon their lips,
couplets born and transcribed
In the wee hours of the morn.


You can have my love, my soul,
But leave to me the labor of poetry.
Loving you with words is my domain,
The speciality of my terrain,
So no more hasta la pasta if you please,
And by the bye, I would love some
Tonight, say around eight,
At a restaurant where the moon is
The only light illuminating our faces.

Until you have bent your ear to Shakespeare's sonnets,
Till you have laughed with Ogden Nash,
Wept with Frost, visited Byron's ghost,
Read the songs of King Solomon,
And once you
Despair of being their equal,
Shed your winter coat of worry,
***** your courage to the sticking point,
Begin to write then with reckless courage,
Unfettered abandon, make a fool of yourself!

Scout the competition.
Weep, for you and I will never surpass
The giants who preceeded us, and yet,
Laugh, cause they thought the same thing as well...


All I can say is
En Garde!
I will be coming back soon enough.
because you are my best poem,
and the there will always be another stanza needed...

I am no Houdini, it's quite simple,
After 5 years, I read her like a book,
A book of my poems that she has inspired,
Entitled the Mysteries of True Love.


Each letter, a morsel in your mouth,
Each phrase, a fork full of pleasure,
Each stanza, a full fledged member in a tasting menu,
Perfect only in conjunction with the preceding flavor,
and the one that follows,  and the one that follows.

Taste each poem upon thy tongue and then pass it on,
you know how....

Each word, whether chewed thoroughly,
or lightly placed upon a bud for flavor,
needs the careful consideration of your mouth.

When I hear Shakespeare
My own voice is stilled, it's poverty exposed,
I am ashamed of every word I ever wrote.
Hush me not, for t'is true,
Yet I write on for an audience of one, on but one subject,
A subject, a life, mine,
yet, still unmastered, even after decades of trying.

My poverty exposed, unmasked
for what it is worth, or not.


Lest you think this is paean to men
Another grand male boast,
Be advised this ditty be writty
By a man who, while no longer gritty,
Just put jelly on his scrambled eggs
And ketchup on his toast!

Mmmmmmm there might be a poem
Lurking in that too...

So baby,
shut it down,
turn me on,
make me warm for real,
glide your now practiced fingertips on my grizzled cheek,
whisper a phony "ugh,"
cause I know, you will read
this iPad love poem
and cherish us for evermore.


Soul of brevity, poetically,
I'll never be, this insightful critique,
("Your poems are too long")
I've received in multiplicity, from sources internationally,
perhaps, lucky me, you've read this far?

Surely still a chance that an angel will touch my lips,
my internal parts sign a final treaty, inside an armistice,
night sweats sighs a thing fully forgot,
poetry writing can now be dispatched,
maybe that will be my Act III,
if I can stay awake for it.

Walk a Single Word.
To write a poem, a single word select,
embrace it with a fullness that lovers, family and friends
and the *** who cut you off in the middle lane
do daily provide

Grasp said word, walk it onto a yellow, blue lined, legal pad,
touch said word with the whisper of a single tear, a single curse,
like a pebble in a pond,
said word will miracle expand
hugging you with concentric circles of lines of poetry,
visionary words and stanzas that almost complete themselves
and you

The rhymes you will require, the meter you will select,
no need to struggle, hug your child and as Abraham told Isaac,
God and Google will provide

The simple trickster, a wordsmiths, even your average poet laureate,
got nothing on you that you don't already possess, to offer them
Plenty stiff competition.


Therefore,
My life is mine to take,
Should I wish to choose the
Place, date, the time
To let the poetry cease,
I will announce it mostly gladly
with a blessing of
Shehecheyanu* and a
Smiling "by your leave."

Sometimes the pen, unnecessary.
The poem, fully formed, in his mouth, born.

Silent back labor, unbeknownst the existence
Of such a thing, yet knowing now
His contractions, coming fast and furious,
Eyes many centimeters dilated,
The sac's fluid breaks upon the poet's tongue,
He pronounces in a single breath his
Immaculate Completion

When his hand to mouth, goes,
Like Moses, when he touched the burning coals,
The words are signaled, freedom!
The words announce:
We are now created, conceived and
This new oxgenated atmosphere is now our
final resting place.

This child, the poem, this exhalation,
Once freed, is lost to him,
It's been renamed, retitled,
by hundreds of newly adopted parents as
Ours.


Words needed to create another love poem for my beloved,
Nose and toes, ******* and eyes all regularly poetically,
Cherished,
Now I have knuckled under
And competed a full poetic body scan
And have paid tribute to each n'every part of you,
Even your knuckles...which I am busy kissing
While writing this poem in my distracted mind.

The next time it be for the morning meal,
I will eat it in bed,
far from their kitchen hiding places,
And celebrate my heroics with original
Frosted Flakes and milk,
And extra sugar just for spite!
The bedroom fairies, living under the pillow,
Emerge to beg in iambic pentameter,
Won't get nary a bite,
Until they they return the poems they stole
From my midnight dreams.


I am exhausted. So many gems to decorate
My body, my soul. I must stop here,
So many of you have reached out, none of you overlooked.

Overwhelmed, let us sit together now
And celebrate the silence that comes after the
Gasp, the sigh, that the words have taken from
Our selves, from within.


On and on thru the night,
Riffing, rapping, rambling, and spitting,
Ditties and darts, couplets and barbs,
Single words and elegies,
Free verse and a lot of fking curse words,
It was a moment, a time
that deserved
to be preserved,
and so this poem got writ

You may think this story apocryphal
Which is another way of saying untrue,
But I got his boarding pass and it is signed,
To this crazy poetry dude, long may you rasp,
And it is signed by Mr. P. Simon, a big fan,
And it has never since that day,
Left my grasp


Some poems never end,
Nor meant too.
Alliterative phrases, invitations,
Add a verse, a word, even a sound,
An exclamation of delight,
A stanza in its own right.

Unfinished work, forever additive, collaborative.
Modify mine, pass it on.

Read somewhere some poems never end,
Now I understand that better,
Cause there are no bandages, stitches that can close,
Cause there are no pills, switches that can shut off,
The ripping sound, the cutting noise, the raging inside
Heard blocks away, almost reaching a house where you live,
And dying in the same **** place that
Poems come from after midnight.


And even if I am stranger now,
I'll prove useful to have around,
Giving you poetry precisely couture designed by command,
So I fully expect to be hugging you happy
Soon enough.
You'll see.

No matter combo or organized, a good nights sleep
Elusive
So poetry is my default rest position,
My screen savior.

**So when I warn,
All my poems are copywrighted,
My meaning simple, words crystal,
They belong to us, but mostly to you
Who are reading these words
Mashup Part II  Is now posted.

It appears that I write a lot on this topic.   Anyway all theses are indeed snippets from poems  I wrote  and have posted here.  Started with the oldest poems May 18 and working my way thru 'em
Nat Lipstadt Jun 2013
My Night With Paul Simon

On the night train, the red eye plane,
Flying home to NYCeeeeeeeeeeeee,
From the city of Los Angeleeeeeeez

Feeling flush, dropped some cash,
Got me a seat in extra large first class

Seat 2C, plenty of room for my toes,
To wiggle  to dance,
lay down some poetry tracks,
pretending I'm a **** jive,
bad *** from the
make-believe west coast

A short guy, with fedora down low,
An older man,
looking about nine years older
than somebody I might know,
hiding his eyes @ 9pm
neath some excellent Raybans,
slip slides into 2D,
gives me a smile,
And says Hi, I'm Paul

I look once at his face and say,
Listen Rhymin' Simon,
I'd know you any place,
No worries, your secret,
with me is safe,
Cause dudes in row 2,
gottta stick together, be cool,
We're riding first class,
over the land of the free

What ya do for a living he asks,
A little of this and a little of that,
All of which, ain't no **** good at!
So I spend my cold, hard time
laying down cold hard verse,
Can't stop, cause it's my daddy's dying curse

He said that's cool,
I like to do that too.
Guitars on planes
drive passengers insane,
They take up too much
overhead compartment space,
I just scribble me some rhymes and
Let the music come
when I got two feet
on the ground in the city
we both come from.

Paul:  You got any stuff writ
on that yellow sheet,
or just pretty blue lines,
a big pad of nothing?

Dude: Man you may got diamonds
on the soles of your shoes,
But pay me some 'spect,  
you talking to the man who penned
Sad Eyed Teenagers of the Lowland
on Hello Poetry, gad ****!

Paul smiled and said
you can call me Al,
And if you feel like blowing some lines together,
We got five hours till we can see
the house that Ruth built.

Dude: Hit me with your best shot,
I'll show you what I got

Paul: And she said honey take me dancing
But they ended up by sleeping
In a doorway
By the bodegas and the lights on
Upper Broadway
Wearing diamonds on the soles of their shoes

Dude: Just cause the union of the  monkeys
in the Bronx Zoo done gone on strike,
Don't mean the lion ain't
still king of the hill
inside this New York city jail

Paul: And the sign said,
"The words of the prophets are written
on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered
in the sounds of silence

Dude: A home-grown poet.
I am, Soul enslaved to words.
The alphabet - My oxygen molecules,
I am both, Addict and dealer
A ****** poet ******

Paul: You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Dude: Contact with the atmosphere
makes self pity die,
my blue blood turn red,
the TNT tightness in my chest exploded
I got no place  to store these words,
the cops think I'm some kind of Terrorist

On and on thru the night,
Riffing, rapping, rambling, and spitting,
Ditties and darts, couplets and barbs,
Single words and elegies,
Free verse and a lot of fking curse words,
It was a moment, a time
that deserved
to be preserved,
and so this poem got writ

*You may think this story apocryphal
Which is another way of saying untrue,
But I got his boarding pass and it is signed,
To this crazy poetry dude, long may you rasp,
And it is signed by Mr. P. Simon, a big fan,
And it has never since that day,
Left my grasp
I’m always told to just shut up,
Like honestly can't I just stop fking up?
Like honestly fk,
I’m out of my good luck,
I’m though I could thrive,
Live an extraordinary life,
Where I went wrong,
I can see so clearly,
When I got threatened not to say,
And I listened,
I lost my girl,
We lost our love,
Now I’m nothing I fking give up,
I’m out of luck,
My life *****,
I need hope,
Getting held at a deep *****,
Drop me please,
End this ****,
I’m over it all,
Sometimes I don’t feel so tall.
i know i ****** up big time, and i know i can't have you back,
M Sep 2023
I am wide awake
I see the brutal horrific truth now
how much my father abused me as a child
as a baby
the fire inside of me burns
its so so FKING painful !!!!!

I see the truth now
how most of the" boys" that I dated
abused me so so horrifically !!

I see the truth now
how trauma bonded I was
and how it wasn't my fault!!

I see the truth  now
how much I hated myself for no FKING reason!
I see myself now
more of myself,
and how amazing I am
because I am  ME!

I see the truth now
that I don't need to compete with others to be loved,
I just need to exist
to breathe
to be worthy!

I see the truth now
that everyone,
has their own path their own journey
their own beauty !
How we each have our own gifts and tests in this life
how we are all one!

I see the truth now
how you assaulted me
manipulated me ,and abused me!

How his beatings hurt me
my mind, my body ,my soul
but still I am free
still I am rising above it all
I see the truth now
that my strength is my power.

I see the truth now
that so many times
it was other people being wounded
and their projections of pain onto me.

I see the truth now
good kind loving amazing people really do exist!

I see the truth now
I am worthy of so much love so much goodness!

I see the truth now
I am love !

I love myself,
I see the truth now,
everything is about  intention!

I danced today
and felt so free
blessed and alive!

I see the truth  now
I was always always,
amazing ,because I am me!

I see the truth now,
that none of my abuse
was my fault!

I see the truth
that life truly happens for me!

I can take responsibility  of myself and my life
and the truth is sometimes it hurts  like fking hell!
Before it can empower you !

I see the truth,
that this pain is heavy harsh raw and painful as FKING HELL!!!

I see the truth that there are many things that I don't undrstand
but I can still build from the pieces.
Nat Lipstadt Feb 2015
My Night With Paul Simon
(Posted originally on June 5, 2013)

On the night train, the red eye plane,
Flying home to NYCeeeeeeeeeeeee,
From the city of Los Angeleeeeeeez

Feeling flush, dropped some cash,
Got me a seat in extra large first class

Seat 2C, plenty of room for my toes,
To wiggle  to dance, lay down some poetry tracks,
pretending I'm a **** jive,
bad *** from the
make-believe west coast

A short guy, with fedora down low,
An older man,
looking about nine years older
than somebody I might know,
hiding his eyes @ 9pm
neath some excellent Raybans,
slip slides into 2D,
gives me a smile,
And says Hi, I'm Paul

I look once at his face and say,
Listen Rhymin' Simon,
I'd know you any place,
No worries, your secret,
with me is safe,
Cause dudes in row 2,
gottta stick together, be cool,
We're riding first class,
over the land of the free

What ya do for a living he asks,
A little of this and a little of that,
All of which, ain't no **** good at!
So I spend my cold, hard time
laying down cold hard verse,
Can't stop, cause it's my daddy's dying curse

He said that's cool,
I like to do that too.
Guitars on planes
drive passengers insane,
They take up too much
overhead compartment space,
I just scribble me some rhymes and
Let the music come
when I got two feet
on the ground in the city
we both come from.

Paul:  You got any stuff writ
on that yellow sheet,
or just pretty blue lines,
a big pad of nothing?

Dude: Man you may got diamonds
on the soles of your shoes,
But pay me some 'spect,  
you talking to the man who penned
Sad Eyed Teenagers of the Lowland
on Hello Poetry, gad ****!

Paul smiled and said
you can call me Al,
And if you feel like blowing some lines together,
We got five hours till we can see
the house that Ruth built.

Dude: Hit me with your best shot,
I'll show you what I got

Paul: And she said honey take me dancing
But they ended up by sleeping
In a doorway
By the bodegas and the lights on
Upper Broadway
Wearing diamonds on the soles of their shoes

Dude: Just cause the union of the  monkeys
in the Bronx Zoo done gone on strike,
Don't mean the lion ain't
still king of the hill
inside this New York city jail

Paul: And the sign said,
"The words of the prophets are written
on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered
in the sounds of silence

Dude: A home-grown poet.
I am
Soul enslaved to words.
The alphabet - My oxygen molecules,
I am both,
Addict and dealer
A ****** poet
******

Paul: You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Dude: Contact with the atmosphere
makes self pity die,
blue blood turn red,
the TNT tightness in my chest exploded
I got no place
to store these words,
the cops think I'm
some kind of
Terrorist

On and on thru the night,
Riffing, rapping, rambling, and spitting,
Ditties and darts, couplets and barbs,
Single words and elegies,
Free verse and a lot of fking curse words,
It was a moment, a time
that deserved
to be preserved,
and so this poem got writ

You may think this story apocryphal
Which is another way of saying untrue,
But I got his boarding pass and it is signed,
To this crazy poetry dude, long may you rasp,
And it is signed by Mr. P. Simon, a big fan,
And it has never since that day,
Left my grasp
why some call me

stillcrazynafteralltheseyears,
SNL provoked me to repost it
M Jul 2023
Growth is not pretty it's fking hard.
It's picking yourself up over and over again ,sometimes only getting up and living because of your strength and resilance,many times it's being incredibly lonely, for choosing yourself can be ,it's cutting off everyone and everything that is toxic and abusive to you , it can be extremely hard esp coming from a home like mine ,were everything was extremely dysfunctional !
Growth is choosing kindness to yourself, learning how to treasure simple small moments, learning to  turn pain  it into meaning and gratitudr . Growth is sometimes breathing and holding on one moment by moment . It's exploring your dreams, the depth of your concious ,its facing your demons ,the things that terrify you, it's learning that once we see more of ourselves for who we truly are , we can learn more of who we are and live with less shame.
Growth is not looking like a perfect Instagram model buying crystals and pretending to be perfect ,it's knowing that yes I have flaws and that's okay I am a human being we are not meant to be dolls or just consumers !
Growth is looking at the shackles of society and choosing different .Its seeing the suffering of your family bec of their chains and learning to choose differently for you . So whoever wants to romanticize this ,is really bllshtting you . Spirituality aint about rainbows and flowers it's mostly about awareness and choice.
M Sep 2023
I remember
how I begged the friends to come to my party
at the age of 21
how I faked my  smile in the pictures,
how I feigned joy
to cover up my deep pain ,

I remember my cold birthday
at the age of six
watching television
without any heat,
as the mice crawled near my feet
I remember the burning
the lonlieness
the longing
of wanting
companionship
some love.

Looking back
I chased all my friends
many of them weren't so enthusiastic at times.

I did this my whole life
I didn't know,
that I didn't need to starve
to be fed.

I am still learning,
the other day someone complimented me,
I was literally  shocked,
because it has happened so rarely to me,
that I felt so much joy and love in my heart.
that kind people exist,
and than I cried about that deeply inside ,
about this notion this fact.

At my past birthday
the" friends " that I had there,
kind of ignored me
went off to smoke,
and I had to beg them to take my pictures.

I just feel so much disgust
in my heart and soul.

When I saw her the other day,
all I wanted to do was spit in her  face
and yell "FK You Btch ,"
you didn't deserve even
one ounce of my fking presence.

Instead all I did was glare deeply at her
and she the cowardess  that she is ,
wouldn't even look at me
or ever apologize.

Now I may be alone
but I am choosing myself!

My people My places
And My life .
I am choosing
I get to have Choice.
Dead Rose One Jan 2015
"Now be witness again,
paint the mightiest armies of earth,
Of those armies so rapid so wondrous
what saw you to tell us?
What stays with you latest and deepest? of curious panics,
Of hard-fought engagements or
sieges tremendous what deepest remains?

W. Whitman

all you scar freaks,
wound dressers par extraordinaire,
you won you lost
your hard fought
distraught
engagement,
the siege goes on
and on
so does those
curious panics

button down those long sleeves,
doctor's note, no phys ed needed,
the brain workin hard enuf,
fuming fking overtime,

rich parents say
take a vaca, go far away,
poor parents say
grow up, get a job,

wish they read Whitman,

wounded dresser,
come cover up my,
Curious Panics,
my scars reopen on their own,
especially those
**deepest remain...
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/237970



The Wound-Dresser
BY WALT WHITMAN
1
Hockey Mar 2020
we are ultrahigh
ready to rock the sky
sometimes it can be tough
like love
it is not enough

you  want it
you  need it
you light it
fcking inhale it


get it everyday
do it again
if they could
smoke they would

met lot of people
lot of them smoke
we are brotherhood
people that understood


it free your mind
from the ******* lie
wont just live like fking b*tch
wanna live like i am fking rich

told me **** is bad
dont do it they said
they didnt experiece
dont know the diffrence

always smoke everyday
even in train
we have holiday
donť need to explain


lets go to smoke
we wanna be free
it cost some fee
but is dope

might be hungry
after that
left some money
in your wallet





wanna mantain
the feeling
it is fking best
dont  rest
Nat Lipstadt Jun 2014
On the night train, the red eye plane,
flying home to NYCeeeeeeeeeeeee,
from the city of Los Angeleeeeeeez

Feeling flush, dropped some cash,
got me a seat in extra large first class

Seat 2C, plenty of room for my toes,
to wiggle, to dance, lay down some poetry tracks,
pretending I'm a **** jive,
bad *** from the
make-believe west coast

A short guy, with fedora down low,
an older man,
looking about nine years older
than somebody I might know,
hiding his eyes @ 9pm
neath some excellent Raybans,
slip slides into 2D,
gives me a smile,
and says Hi, I'm Paul!

I look once at his face and say,
listen Rhymin' Simon,
I'd know you any place,
no worries, your secret,
with me is safe,
cause dudes in row 2,
gottta stick together, be cool,
we're riding first class,
over the land of the free

What ya do for a living he asks,
a little of this and a little of that,
all of which, ain't no **** good at!
so I spend my cold, hard time
laying down cold hard verse,
can't stop, cause it's my daddy's dying curse

He said that's cool,
I like to do that too.
guitars on planes
drive passengers insane,
they take up too much
overhead compartment space,
I just scribble me some rhymes and
let the music come
when I got two feet
on the ground in the city
we both come from.

Paul:  
You got any stuff writ
on that yellow sheet,
or just pretty blue lines,
a big pad of nothing?

Dude:
Man you may got diamonds
on the soles of your shoes,
but pay me some 'spect,  
you talking to the man who penned
Sad Eyed Teenagers of the Lowland
on Hello Poetry, gad ****!

Paul smiled and said
you can call me Al,
and if you feel like blowing some lines together,
we got five hours till we can see
the house that Ruth built.

Dude:
Hit me with your best shot,
I'll show you what I got

Paul:
And she said honey take me dancing
but they ended up by sleeping
in a doorway
by the bodegas and the lights on
upper Broadway,
wearing diamonds on the soles of their shoes

Dude:
Just cause the union of the monkeys
in the Bronx Zoo done gone on strike,
don't mean the lion ain't
still king of the hill,
roaming free,
inside this New York city jail

Paul:
And the sign said,
the words of the prophets are written
on the subway walls
and tenement halls
and are whispered
in the sounds of silence

Dude:
A home-grown poet.
I am
soul enslaved to words.
the alphabet - my oxygen molecules,
I am both,
addict and dealer
a  ****** poet
******

Paul:
You don't need to be coy, Roy
just listen to me
hop on the bus, Gus
you don't need to discuss much
just drop off the key, Lee
when get yourself free

Dude:
Contact with the atmosphere
makes self pity die,
blue blood turn red,
the TNT tightness in my chest exploded
I got no place
to store these words,
the cops think I'm
some kind of verbal
terrorist

On and on thru the night,
riffing, rapping, rambling, and spitting,
ditties and darts, couplets and barbs,
single words and elegies,
free verse and a lot of fking curse words

It was a moment, a time
that deserved
to be preserved,
and so this poem got writ

You may think this story apocryphal
which is another way of saying untrue,
but I got his boarding pass and it is signed,
to this crazy poetry dude, long may you rasp,
it is signed by Mr. P. Simon, a big fan,
it has never since that day,
left my grasp

June 5, 2013
First posted on HP exactly one year ago.
izzy w Dec 2011
well if im going to be a fking flower
**** roses and orckids
let me be an wiled flower

ugly and free
for the porest of lovers
to give to their sweethearts

embed my love into
the soil, i want to bloome
you a new wiled heart

i want you to kno
what love means
like you didnt before

wiled flowers grow
where they want to
they dont even care!!

who cares!! feral flowers
have hearts too
sometimes
M Aug 2023
It first
started
as  a whisper in the night
in the dark
maybe just maybe
theres a way out
of this darkness
a light at the end of the tunnel
maybe just maybe
I can actually heal myself?
maybe just maybe
I can create a life
of my desire
and so with time she chose herself
over and over again
through her pain
through her sorrow
through all of the men who left her beaten
and broken off the side of the road
beaten beyond words beyond comprehension
how much the pain caused her
how much the violation the violence
broke her so deep
like shards of glass
tormenting her
insides ,
of  how the men hurting her
hurt her soul
broke her soul so deeply
that it felt like her heart would bleed
literal blood all of the time,
Through the sorrow
of other women choosing men over her
and throwing her into the arms of violent men
to be tortured by those men
yes I have lived through all of this and worse
and yet I have learned to choose myself
through it all
to stand tall
to not allow them to see you falter
so next time someone tells you
that you don't have choice
I say I beg to differ
humans always have a fking choice!

I have claimed my rightful place in this land
by the strength of my own two feet
and I choose healing
each day of my life
to heal myself for me
for my ancestors
and for all of those who come after me
although the journey is not done
I choose it for me
and for myself.
spend less time giving a **** thn a lame horse with jellied teeth
got the whole town crawling up out the ground
dead/in\living night time
and its right here
right ******* now
resting fair shovelhands
on ***** fking mounds
cuz heavens screaming lonely + dead horse come clean
its real blood in headlights and they best ******* believe in me
because they come here to breathe
to stop and to watch me (without feeling)
+ i strangle wormclouds
out of every ******* mouth thas speaking
believe in me
watching here and learning from safety
where i hate real alive and loveless existing
skinlight like wandering
burn all your plastic things
because hell is coming harder
and we are never leaving
Hannah Oct 2017
piling
up and up and up
on top of her
each one larger than the next
problems on top of problems
expectations
the cherry on top
piled on her will to live
that weakens
with every passing day
slowly fading away
just like she is
losing track of herself
slowly cracking, breaking
and when it ends
what will she be
will she even be her?
or just a shell
of who she used to be
bits and pieces of what survived
fragments from her collapse
her joy is felt, but temporary
her sadness lives on, continues
it never really ends
and it all starts now

everyone
everything
expects her to be good
do well
be perfect
oh honey
she's nowhere near fking perfect
but getting so much closer to fked. mental health is suffering so much.
AK chipmunk soul Mar 2019
Yo, you fukin with the baddest,
no i ain't the other kid
claimin hype, im gettin right and Ni
gas hate the status.

I think its cause, they just dont know,
how long i've been at this
i've never ever heard a beat I can't Randy Savage.

the way you lookin at me, lookin like I'm just average,
baby im just tryna make you see through..: Glasses
I hate when you're passive, the tension gets so massive
started from the basement... So why we in the attic?

maybe we some addicts, your love's asthmatic..
I love it when you in the bed, working that maGIC!
I know we got problems, so lets move past it..
no turn around.. back it up.. like that ss did!

You know I'm just playin, you already know these actions..
type of moves, keeps the mood.. total satisfaction
Baby aint no laxin.. specially when I'm rappin
Sh
t, I spit real, so much, they need Captions

Ain't nothing in this world, through the sadness.. the ashes
so baby can we live it up, until we in our caskets?
Don't go and be phony, like the ones who be actin..
look in each other's eyes... tell me, can you feel the passion??

I used to try to sneak these looks.. starin at her as* and..
she caught me lookin once, she tried to make it so dramatic
Baby, you a dime.. tryna find the way AT IT..
put you in my wallet, ya you can live lavish,

If I-ever-sign (Iverson). they might think it was the PRACTICE..
but baby its you.. its true.. how low that *ss gets.
you liein with a bull (
Liabilities).. who be likin all your assets..
Equity to get with me. Aint even seen the half yet.

And I aint even done.. I aint even at the half yet..
I'm just here to merc.errrr. bustin up your bracket
I'm in outer space. ya my mind reach the vastest..
choppin up your crew.. mutinies up at Krastor's!

I'm freeing all your chains so that you can **** the masters!
don't let them seize your fate.. you just gotta be faster!
Don't let them bring you down, ya they nothing but some bastar*s
tryna hold you back.. while you tryna move past them..

Dont let it bust your head.. life is what you can imagine,
Don't need a fking genie, to be the next Aladdin!
No need to show your pain.. don't just sit in bed saddened..
Find what you love.. WORK! then laugh at them...
https://soundcloud.com/da-govenah-267872939/unapolagetic      here is the song if you'd like to listen :)
I'm an honest person for being your daughter
Which leaves me speechless sometimes,
Considering, it's you, who is my mother
All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, was your support
All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, was your love
All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, was for you to care
You're not the best influence for me,
and that's why I have to go as soon as I can
I have to go, far far far far far far away from you
There's just no getting through to you
I chose to be sober, I chose to be clean,
You choose to be addicted, and be forever mean
We are not one in the same, even if we share DNA
We are not one in the same, even if we have the same blood
I've tried throughout many years to get through to you
There's just no point, there's no use,
it's like talking to a **** wall
You're baggage is becoming too heavy,
and so now I'm choosing to let you fall
Because you are someone I can no longer be around
Every day you're trying to be an enabler
Every day you're trying to become a supplier
Every day you're trying your hardest to put me in the ground
And every day, I become more anticipated to break free
To break free from your voice, your sight, your touch, ugh,
Just to break free from you all around
This time, I'm not looking back, I can't fall back
I chose to be sober, I chose to be clean
I chose to do whatever it takes for me to be me
And to not be you, I don't want to feel numb anymore
I want to feel alive again, I want to be reborn
I want to feel the sun on my skin
I want to feel the wind beneath my wings
I want to do the things that I can't do when I'm around you
And it's because you make me feel, isolated, invisible,
That's what you have become to continuously do
I've told you multiple times I don't want to be popping pills
So stop fking asking me because I see red and the suddenly;
I get the urge to either hurt you, myself,
Or I get the urge to find something to ****
I escape this reality through my words,
so that I don't end up on the next 48
It just ***** so bad because
you're my mother who is spiteful
It just ***** so bad because
you're my mother who is broken beyond repair
I've tried too many times, I've wasted too many words
I've lost count of how many breaths I've taken
And now, I'm honestly to the point now, that I no longer care
You'll never know any of this, or how I truly feel
Because I can't be bothered enough to tell you to your face
I just know I'm going to continue to keep choosing to be sober,
And I just know that I'm going to continue to keep choosing to be clean
While you're already dying, because you're addicted and so mean
So what's it going to take? Isn't it already too late?
you'll soon find your resting place
You'll find it sooner rather than later;
because of the path you've chosen
The path that causes so much pain,
The path that causes so much hatred
The path that causes so much disgust and disgrace
I'm an honest person for being your daughter
Which sometimes leaves me speechless,
Because it's you, who is my mother.
Which really makes me wonder sometimes..
Am I… even really yours?


Stephanie A. Ludwig
04/18/2025
just expressing more stuff.
M Sep 2023
The more I heal
the more I cry
the memories
that I have supressed
start to come back to me
and while good,
how hard it is to remember
deep suffering.

All of the times
I would go home with a man
expecting love,
for my naeive heart
was never taught about the real world.

How I was brutally faced with cruelty
how I went to the police
and how they never ever fking cared
how everyone seems to have forgot about me
and my pain ,
how I am someone who has been so forgotten
how I smile and compliment  those who have hurt me,
out of habit
over  the fear of being hurt.

I wish I could stop !
How much I am trying to learn,
how not to just survive anymore
I am trying to learn how to live
for the first time in my life.

I am remembering the dark times
of when I lived on the
kibbutz
and how unsafe I felt there ,
sleeping on the cold floor
freezing
waking up early
breaking myself
sitting alone without friends,
how even my gay friend
objectified me there,
how the man I liked
and who treated me with kindness
couldn't stay.
How he was one of the people who truly  saw me,
how I was fired and sent off without a care in the world.
how the man at the hostel
assaulted me for hours
while I begged and screamed for him to stop
and noone cared except me.
I wish I could forget it all!

It hurts deeply to remember it all
so when people ask me if I smoke,
I now tell them never ,
and if they ask me if I drink I usually say only sometimes,
for it was by those means,
that my trauma came to me
most of the time.

But alas sometimes these things happened when I was sober
but it seemed like everyone else was so drunk with cruelty
and non chalatness to my pain.
I now have to train myself
show myself
convince myself
that good normal people exist,
and its a breath of fresh air and oxygen to see,
for when one is trained to be with cruelty
kindness seems rare,
when maybe it actually isn't,
I was just never brought up with it.
so there is my silent plea
of pain
of wanting to not be with my pain
but I don't have a choice,
sometimes it seems  I have so much of it,
you can see it written all over my face
buried deep in my eyes,
I wish I could  just wash it away
but the only way out
is through,
so each day I allow myself to cry
and with time
It is starting to feel a little bit better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hzFTJDJGkQ

— The End —