"britney" poems
We pride ourselves on being ‘America the Free’,
But how are we free when a he can’t marry a he?
Homosexuality is found in over 90 species,
but homophobia is only found in one.
If you want to blame someone, blame the straight people.
They’re the ones who keep having gay sons.
Not one Disney princess is a lesbian,
Not one superhero is gay.
Not all girls want a prince charming.
And not all men want a heroine someday.
They say, "Love is blind."
So why are we so blind to fact that love is love?
What has America come to that we’d rather see men holding guns, than holding hands?
Until recently, in the US military, admitting that you’re gay, had bans.
Homosexuality isn’t a disease.
You can’t catch it, and you can’t cure it.
Please.
Tiger Woods can have 19 mistresses,
Britney Spears can have a 55 hour marriage,
Kim Kardashian can get married for publicity,
But GAYS are corrupting the institution of marriage?
Closets are for clothes, not hiding.
Feb 8, 2013
Feb 8, 2013 at 4:56 PM UTC
there lives a little white boy across the street,
i swear the chaps' got wings on his feet.
but he grovels around in charcoal and mud,
cos they say he hasn't got athletics in his blood.
he breaks British records, doesnt seem to stop,
but the Jamaican colours flutter from his rooftop.
Olympics the dream,but more than that,
little master Owens just wants to be Black.
there lives a little black girl just next door,
i can hear her tap dance on the linoleum floor.
she sings the opera from dusk to dawn,
she prances and twirls on the family's front lawn.
"your dancings' awkward, your voice baritone,"
it's not in your blood, leave the dreams alone.
she smears fairness creams day and night,
little miss Britney just wants to be White.
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 24, 2018 at 11:37 AM UTC
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Madam we are at your door
No worries... of the body odor
We took your advice we went outdoor
At the mall bought a bottle of Jadour..
Fresh smell we are Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Miss Taylor
Do increase consultation time by 15 minutes or more...
Okay now open the door...
Take your turn but stand at the door...
Hey! now don't you cheat
Fresh looking nice and neat
but still I smell... your smelly feet...
Out you go and wash your feet!!
Sep 16, 2013
Sep 16, 2013 at 11:19 PM UTC
The Billboard Music Awards took over Las Vegas last night as the celebs rocked it on the carpet and on the stage. However, there were more than a few music stars who just missed the mark when it came to the fashion.
From the barely there gowns to the colorful messes that caught everyone’s eye, and not in a good way.
The Billboard Music Awards fashion is usually something to praise, however this year things took a turn for worse. These lucky celebrities top our list of biggest fashion fails from the billboard music awards.
Mariah Carey chose to show it off in a cleavage baring illusion dress.
Hailee Steinfeld’s embraced her girly side in a black and white ruffle number.
The whole Fifth Harmony clan completely failed in their black, white and yellow matching outfits.
Britney Spears covered it all up in an ill-fitting, long, sparkly gown.
And Dencia’s outfit was a messy rainbow that had everyone staring.
It seems like some of the stars got dressed in the dark or just completely forgot to look in the mirror before stepping out on the red carpet.
May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 3:44 AM UTC
I am a white, Jewish girl from Florida.
Hit me.
Hit me with your white girl jokes,
Your Jewish American Princess stereotypes.
I will giggle and squeal right along with you.
Because yeah,
I do order white chocolate mocha frappuchinos from Starbucks,
I Instagram pictures of my nails,
I take selfies, whiten my teeth, straighten my hair,
Shop at Forever21 and drink Naked Juice like it is my job.
Yeah, my daddy buys me things,
I don’t pay for my data plan,
There’s no way in hell I would drive a sedan,
I wear Nike shorts and avoid any nearby cameraman,
And let me tell you, I love jamming out to old school Britney Spears.
Hit me one more time, because none of that means I am any less intelligent,
Any less diligent,
Any less likely to face judgment
Than any other slice of diversity around me –
I am a white, Jewish girl
My nose is not its own cartoon,
I eat bagels (but I absolutely hate lox),
I’m not tan or even the least bit tinted,
And god knows I don’t wear Uggs.
Tell me I need to get married young,
Major in business,
Wear clothes that leave me airless,
Get some of that European gracefulness,
But don’t tell me I’m dumb.
Don’t tell me I’m not thoughtful.
I’m a white girl.
Take a glance at my resourcefulness,
Understand my goals of being ambitious,
Get rid of your own stereotype-inducing cockiness,
And notice me in all of my flawlessness.
Because I am a white girl,
And I am unique, strong, inventive,
Empowered, passionate, adventurous,
Indomitable, unbeatable.
I am an individual –
Not part of some whole that you put me in to stabilize your mold,
Not the example of a societally scatterbrained ***** meant to be your centerfold,
Not a previously worn-out piece of clothing thrown to the gutter unsold,
Rather a human being of my own rules and my own morals
A human being with ideas and intelligence and power,
A white, Jewish girl,
A person.
Nov 21, 2013
Nov 21, 2013 at 5:31 PM UTC
*retardation, inflammation, all these kids gettin shot up, diabetes nation. earthquake hits, tsunamis rip, solar flare sun, getting our magnetic polar shift on.
been around much to long to believe all the ******** they are trying to run a country on, think it's about time we awaken, come together and form a new united nations.
grew up in an age where blowin **** up made the front page, trading tourism for terrorism, gorilla warfare versus patriotic heroism.
**** the news, i been hit the with the love struck blues, instead spend my time promoting free energy, "Nikola Tesla's technology abolishes slavery"... Last call to end the fed, freedom for eternity; did you hear Britney Spears shaved her head?*
Apr 27, 2012
Apr 27, 2012 at 5:29 AM UTC
Even though you know some tea, you aren’t automatically pressed to spill ALL of it. Today’s tea features our roommate Sophie and two grody flavors of betrayal. BTW, I’m being magnanimous by changing the names and not doxxing the creeps.
To set our stage, a doe (we’ll call her Britney) high-school friend of Sophie’s is a Yale freshie this year. They were buddy-hollys back in the day and they’ve been clinging since their reunion.
On another track, Sophie’s been talking to a guy (we’ll call him Cory) in her English class recently and it was clear they were “in-like” but their clocked-up schedules were corking their algorithms.
Sophie and Cory finally got a shot last weekend when they attended a party together. However, it turns out later, at that party, Britney snuck off with Cory and smashed him (they were observed, and everyone carries a camera these days).
So, poor Sophie suffered two betrayals in one night. Cory went-hiking on her and Britney - who she'd told about Cory - did the other woman chisel.
Of course, Cory (just another dog-boy) is already forgotten but the broken friendship drama will live on forever. Why Britney chose to betray Sophie we’ll never know, because that ***** is dead to us.
Nov 14, 2022
Nov 14, 2022 at 12:06 PM UTC
My daughter will not crawl from crib to tanning bed.
She will learn
the terms “unnattainable beauty standards” before she learns the alphabet.
She will never compare herself
to anyone.
She will never compare herself to Britney, Christina, Selena.
She will never compare herself to Cinderella, Ariel, Belle,
Hell. No.
She will never aspire to be the sultry *** kitten taking seductive showers in shampoo commercials.
No.
My daughter will be named Venus.
The goddess of love, beauty, fertility,
The most beautiful woman I ever saw.
She is plump, fullfigured barebreasted wide hipped with curly hair covered mons
Goddess.
My daughter will grow up to be ****** poisonously beautiful
With long locks of goldenrodred hair, like her mother.
Greyblueblack eyes and shoulder freckles, like her father.
And if I can never become pregnant,
my sisters daughters will be my daughters
skin the color of cinnamon or chocolate, or vanilla ice cream
and just as sweet.
Men, women, boys, girls will pine over her, fall in love with her radiating skin
that will never look photoshopped, but always real.
As if the sun came down from the sky to give her the glow of all the light in the universe.
She will love her body the way that my mother taught me to love mine.
I will show her pictures of Whoopi Goldberg and America Ferrera and Margaret Cho and Marilyn Monroe
And she will know that beauty
is not a synonym
for skinny.
Beauty
is not a synonym for
****
Beauty is not defined by size
or color
or texture, no.
It is defined by how she distributes
her love
and light
to everyone she meets.
no exceptions.
and she will never doubt that she is lovely.
Sep 2, 2011
Sep 2, 2011 at 11:47 AM UTC
I wanna marry a chav
that looks just like
Britney Spears,
now, not ten years ago---
Barefoot & pregnant in yoga pants,
Barefoot mother slipping
into black stockings---
She idolizes her rivals,
Wants to be her own evil-twin---
I wanna marry the **** out of her
& watch her belly grow
in the sundaddy-o---
I want to take her ***
To the ****** Islands---
And watch her beached,
She is the opposite of who she is---
Completely manic up & running
She who stays within reach
Of images drowned
Between an old lady’s thighs---
Mother slips on black pantyhose,
Adjusting the waist over her *******
On Thursdays, sunnyside
every other day
---
Mother 8 months preggers in yoga pants
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 22, 2017 at 9:58 PM UTC
hitler's mush and britney's bush-
things that make you cringe.
paul bunyan and ***** hoes-
mouthful of wood.
beieber's twig and a dodo-
nobody has seen them for a long time.
rednecks and squirrels-
store nuts for the long winter.
and **** livestock.
this isnt a poem.this is a slur to all of you that take it up.
Aug 19, 2014
Aug 19, 2014 at 5:50 PM UTC
Finding something on the road
And serving it for dinner
Buying dresses far too small
And thinking you look thinner
Solar powered submarines
Broken ribs or ruptured spleens
Driving cars and drinking beers
Lightbulb licking, bad ideas
Knowing where you shouldn't be
And being there despite
Going out in thunderstorms
To fly your iron kite
Sharing needles with a shark
Going to Mansfield after dark
Setting fire to someone's ears
Telemarketing, bad ideas
Not deploying gaffer-tape
When doing D.I.Y.
Believing the implausible
While branding truth a lie
Replying to Nigerian Princes
**** bleach and ******* rinses
Tabloid papers touting fears
Voting UKIP, bad ideas
Impersonating ******
Before nineteen forty-five
Catching a train on Sunday
And assuming you'll arrive
Turning lights on with your nose
Eating food that moves or glows
Listening to Britney Spears
Marmite Pringles, bad ideas
**
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 7:20 AM UTC
Born and raised in Franklin Tennessee
Destiny Ray Cyrus changed to Miley.
Hannah Montana might be how she’s known
Now she’s crazy, making old people groans
At the VMAs she’s a teddy bear
No longer does she have long, brown hair
She used to sing songs like “Nobody’s perfect”
Now she sings songs about how to twerk it.
She says, “I’m used to people judging me.”
And doesn’t mind if people let her be
Halloween, little kim with purple hair
Going places that no one else would dare
Her role models: Britney and Madonna
Her manager” her own birthing momma
You may not say she is an original
But one thing’s for sure, she’s not invisible
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 9:12 AM UTC
She said it's "Brittany, not Britney,"
as we walked over the Mathematical Bridge.
I asked her if that was a reference,
but there's more than just a difference in nomenclature.
She said, "My name is Brittany Etheridge
but there is also a Britney Etheridge,
and she's a walking disaster."
I said "Hey, I never knew..."
as I looked into the river.
"Did you know about this bridge?" she asked me,
and I answered, "It's just a way between shores."
But there's always more to what is there, there's history.
"It was here before computers, before the wars,
before Britney Etheridge."
I could see my reflection in the water below,
warping my face with the current, and
it left me with nothing but a desire to know the history of all things,
but mainly Brittany Etheridge.
She told me, "Isaac Newton built this bridge
without any screws or bolts. Now that's engineering."
And I agreed with a nod and a smile.
"Britney Etheridge wouldn't care though."
She kept talking after that, but all the while I thought
about the bridge, and how there're screws here now.
She told me, "Isaac Newton built this bridge
without any screws or bolts."
Mar 27, 2010
Mar 27, 2010 at 12:59 PM UTC
Teaching me the correct way to make
a paper airplane. He took me to his bindery.
The machine beats bustled and roared and shook
the unruffled metal walls that made me feel
like I was sleeping in the middle of a dragon’s
den, its snoring breaths protecting me
from fathers who didn't know how to be fathers.
I just finished losing all my teeth,
the new ones growing in at different speeds,
my front two like frozen stalactites from different
ice ages. My hair was banana yellow blonde and I liked
to compare myself to a younger Britney Spears.
A potential avalanche of paper next to the metal walls,
vexed by one deep exhale and the pieces
would go up and around like dandelion parts.
My father, forever bound to binding the parts together.
He brought me a single sheet and began twisting and folding.
I always hated him for his genes, for having a Russian
heritage that made me annoyed at the klutzy appendages we shared.
Is it funny that I lie and say I'm Welsh?
It's not funny that I can remember every detail of his over-sized,
meaty hands, how he kept that silly ring on his finger,
the graying knuckle hairs peeking out:
free me!
Not to say I think about him every time I make a paper airplane,
but not to say I don't.
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 5:09 PM UTC
Fantasies, fantasies.
Oh, the options!
Sick ones, lame ones, and boring ones.
I have them all.
Except for little men. No appeal at all.
Men? Women, too!
Who gives a **** it's not a real *****
Not even something I would ever do.
Blowing Oskar Schindler because he had such a big heart.
Britney Spears, I'll tear that ***** ***** apart!
Getting into serial killer's cars, hoping they tease me with a knife.
Smiling in ecstasy as they slit away my life.
Nazis! Nazis! Make me weak in the knees.
***** my family in the old country.
Here I dream and say
"Yes, please!"
Some Japanese war-time brothel.
Hell, I could even be the runner of a geisha tea house.
These girls better answer to me,
not make a sound louder than mouse!
Dare not ask if anyone else has these thoughts, especially friends.
I know I will never see them again, if it comes out!
May 4, 2010
May 4, 2010 at 10:25 PM UTC
My loneliness is killing me
And like Britney sang; I still believe
But I lose my mind when I’m with you
And think clearly without you
But I’m not waiting for a sign
Because I still have bruises from when you hit me... baby one more time
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018 at 2:04 PM UTC
I'm writing a story
It's like a Disney flick
With a princess and all
The princess is beautiful
& kind
And sings
But
She finds an ancient gem
Full of power and wealth
It acts on her dreams
Colluding with reality
Trick-or-treat
Later
She finds herself in peril
she's stalked
By 1 million mirrors
Parroting her every move
Lurking around every corner
They catch-up with the princess
Ghastly clouded mirrors
Hovering + being
There.
Stalked by 1 million mirrors
Until they are
Upon her
Nov 24, 2012
Nov 24, 2012 at 10:44 PM UTC
rag tag *** hag grocery bag in drag
maxed credit and bragging about having a stag party
farty party girls in shart coated pantyhose blow wasted kisses
to fisters in trousers bumping mump victims blisters
hitting wristers like the Williams sisters
coyote trickster with a brand new mix tape waits
with his **** taped to his own leg like Ricky Lake
on her fist date
another Cosby **** escape hot-plated shared space
I’m no racist cause my skin is white and pasty
I’m tasty and **** like Britney sans the braces insatiable
and my testicles are reckless needing spectacles
done wrecked the hull Captain Pickard
and a test-tube girl –
Mar 1, 2016
Mar 1, 2016 at 5:30 PM UTC
This was something fun I wrote in high school:
Everyday of school is boring
Except when you're in H's class
Usually he's singing Britney really loud
Or making sarcastic jokes
But the thing students love about him
Is that he makes fun of everyone
There's; Randal, Cassius, and Shorty
And some who can't take a joke
What I like most is my last name
And how no one I know can pronounce it
But when someone says it right, it just annoys me
Not Mr. H, no not him
He says it wrong,
Just to make me happy
Dec 18, 2012
Dec 18, 2012 at 9:37 PM UTC
Britney Spears moment
I had
Now I know
What she didn't have
Was a gatekeeper
Someone telling her
No
Don't do it
You'll regret it
Wait
I almost cut off my hair today
Almost cut it off
Almost cut my arm today
That was a secret, tho
Cutting my hair is safer
So, why not?
I wonder
Did Britney
Cut herself too?
Oct 13, 2011
Oct 13, 2011 at 3:17 AM UTC
Ivy has style
Ivy puts on dresses and heels
Ivy reads books
Ivy talks about books
Ivy lies to her father
Ivy eats at expensive restaurants and pays with her mother’s card
Ivy is beautiful and wild
Ivy is strange and vicious
Ivy drinks more than she should
Ivy eats less than necessary
Ivy has a bottle of ***** and a coke in her car
Ivy has a parking ticket on the windshield
Ivy busily rolls a joint and goes outside
Ivy sits on a cold curb and smokes elegantly
What else can I say about Ivy?
Ivy has a beautiful, slim handwriting
Once Ivy kissed as if she was eating soup
Ivy is poisonous or so she thinks
Ivy is impressed by "stupid" crazy stories, such as "Naked Lunch"
Sometimes Ivy dances to Britney Spears
Ivy likes "Love" by Gaspar Noé
Ivy likes to re-enact classical paintings: Venus, Ophelia,…
Ivy buys matching underwear from Agent Provocateur
Kisses make Ivy’s back, neck, and face blush
Not a solid fill-in red, but marble blotches
Ivy has piercings on her ******* and down there
Ivy has scars from a razor blade: a triangle on her chest and "Anathema" on her hip
Ivy has a streak of tragedy in her
I like Ivy
Apr 12, 2018
Apr 12, 2018 at 4:26 PM UTC
I'm a vine
entwined
with a mind
one of a kind.
I engulf those around me,
complexity compounding.
A black hole with no future,
they just keep falling,
calling,
"Britney, I love you
isn't that enough?"
"It is,
but I don't want kids,
I'm not ready to marry,
I won't be carried,
but those are just excuses.
I care,
I do,
but love,
not you.
Harsh reality
with common legality.
I'm sorry you fell,
the beginning of your hell,
and although there is another side,
for awhile,
you're mine.
Nov 8, 2012
Nov 8, 2012 at 6:43 PM UTC
. During the summer, cats, two mothers and two mothers were very large. Hungry animals. Take care of the bat. Fishing is the main shoe. He died in Africa. And then he burned it into it. I have a golden ribbon in his hand. After play, plants, animals, wolves. I'm going to a temple. I have not followed your orders for many years, I could not find it on the cattle farm and killed my friends with a greasy calf. Great vegetation. From that day until night and evil. Is he the soldier? Flowers often clean the products scattered. Joseph Joseph Martin, 1790 Eastern Greece desert. All Martin Nantes is a high-quality black group, city brothers during the day, musicians, music awards, buying acid. "But in my anger, I washed the river from the pit Blood and sugar in the blood Blacks Tahitians Do not trade with money please Brittany Milk Italian smile Smile Another smile is born American girl ****** purpose Dejang, for example, Russia and the ideas of children I have to do what I need to meet my lover. "Christian Danger: Public Secrets Mysterious secret windows, windows, windows and windows and translations and tattoos, goats, scallops, squirrels. The new square is an awesome helper. Friends of young children and Japanese night performances are full of books, aircraft, gypsies and gypsies. We're full of sweet liquor, toys, regular reefs, rifles. "Leaves are my first job, what is the reason for the clothes? . During the summer, cats, two mothers and two mothers were very big. Hungry animals. Take care of the bat. Fishing is the main shoes. He died in Africa. And then he burned it into it. I have a golden girdle in his hand. After the game, plants, animals, wolves. I enter a temple. I have not followed your orders for many years, I could not find it on the cattle ranch, and I killed a fat calf with my friends. Major vegetation. From that day until night and bad. Is this a soldier? Flowers often clean products scattered. Joseph Joseph Martin, 1790 Eastern Greece desert. All Martin Nantes are high quality black team, daytime city brothers, musicians, music awards, purchased acid. "But in my anger, I washed away the river from the pit. Blood and blood sugar Black Tahitians Do not trade with money please Brittany Milk Italian Smile Smile Another smile is born American girl ****** purpose Dejang, for example, Russia and children's park ideas, I have to do what I need to meet my lover "Christian danger: secrets of public opinion Mysterious secret windows, windows, windows and windows and lintels and tattoos, goats, scallops, squirrels. The new square is a terrible help item. Young kids' friends and Japanese night shows are full of books, aircraft, gypsies and gypsies. We are filled with glory liquid, toys, regular reefs, rifles." Leaves are my first job, what is the reason for clothes?
. In the summer months, cats, two mothers and two mothers were great. Take care of the lost विच, witch in Africa. And then he burned it. There is a golden movie in the hands of O. After the game, no plants, animals, wolves go onto church that do not follow their orders for many years with no one taking over a beef farm and killing their fat friends with a pistol. Great vegetation from that day to evening and evil. Is he a soldier? Flowers are often deserted in Greece; Martin Nantes is a high quality black group before scattering products cleaned up by Joseph Martin, 1790; Brothers City, City Buy, Nusicians, Music Awards, Acid "But with my rage, I do not do business with black blood and blood sugar washing with Black African मनी," Britney Smiles, Christian At Risk»: Public Secrets' Your Ideas include hidden windows and window translations and tattoos, kids, cocktails hidden in shadows, new class of helper and a large gypsy. Sweet drinks, sports, regular Shelves, Bulldog "Gender is my first job, what is the reason for clothes?"
Oct 30, 2018
Oct 30, 2018 at 1:00 AM UTC