"agaisnt" poems
I have cages below me
I float above them
My antigravitational force being my belief that I am superior
U take my blade and look at the captives in my cages
It seems to be close to feeding time
They are
Afterall
Throwing themselves agaisnt my cages
So I take out my blade
Letting them feed on the drops of blood pouring down my arm
They are sated
Lityle so they know
Ther is POSION IN MY BLOOD
HA
HA
ha
ha
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 12:22 PM UTC
I’m sitting here on the floor watching you sleep
as you snore away in the night
Sometimes I just lay and listen to you breathe
as I hold you agaisnt me real tight
It’s not that I’m worried about you
I just like to hear you breathe
On good days it helps put me to sleep
on bad days it soothes me
You look so comfortable in our bed
as if it’s where you belong
and on some nights I like to lay on your chest
as your heartbeat plays the perfect song
You look so happy in your sleep
makes me wonder what your dreaming
Sometimes I get jealous of you
because I’m wide awake and your sleeping
I can watch you sleep forever
I can sit for hours and stroke your hair
I can be up for hours just holding you
I could be exhausted but I wouldn’t care
I don’t mind watching you for hours
it’s good to see you at peace
Your breathing is what keeps me entertained
on sleepless nights like these
Apr 17, 2015
Apr 17, 2015 at 8:20 PM UTC
Here is a story, not different from others,
just to confuse you and make you wonder,
it is not much, so dont expect anything at all,
its a story about a joker and his downfall.
well lets begin from the beginning,
before the start,
lay a joker, thinking about his past,
He kept on laughing at his own jokes,
decided to become a comic for the good 'ol folks.
He kept on laughing and made others laugh,
he finally made a name but got caught in a raft,
the wind was agaisnt him and so was time,
the water rose high and destroyed his climb.
Now the smile turned upside down,
its just a demise of another clown,
it was the same, everyone kept of laughing,
except the joker, who wouldnt stop crying.
his identity became a horror,
a waste of society,
his existance was now
a story of gory heirarchy,
Irrational being in an imperfect world,
he is a reflection of some of the whirls
he is the one with no possible partner,
a looser in life but a skillful carver.
he is the joker, a killer,
a master, a cheater,
he is the joker near his end
he is the joker.......
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 11:49 AM UTC
Crumpled agaisnt the white wall
Burning tears streaming
From my hollow exhausted eyes
Down my pale cheeks they fall
Along my raspberry lips they gather
Oceanic water
One by one
The last few daisys that lined my mind
Wilt
Their petals are dropping to the ground
Ever so slowly they turn to dust
My heart is charcoal black
My walls are breaking down
I look around me the glacial walls
Melting to the ground
They pool at my sides
I drag my frail finger through the warm water
snap
Someone grabs my hand
Shaking my clouded head
I look up with red swollen eyes
Mom?
Shes so far off her voice a silent as a winter breeze
I give up
Head falls back onto my chest
I grasp my head
A fist full of my long brown hair
Shuddering breaths threatening to shake me apart
"I am so ****** up"
I whisper soft as rose petals
Dec 26, 2013
Dec 26, 2013 at 6:11 PM UTC
Walking down main street, not worried about the rain, was John Carpenter.
Sure, he had on his hat and coat, but he had not remembered to grab his umbrella.
Luckily his sister had not been with him or else she would have had a fit. She was always talking about how he needed to bundle up more, he only got pneumonia twice year, and seemed to always have a cold.
He didn't mind though. More often then not, a nice hot cup of coco, or brandy would clear his sinuses and he'd be fine.
Today he did not have a cold and today he was walking down mainstream, letting the rain fall gently upon his face and shoulders. He passed the bar he so often frequented in his younger years, and saw a familiar face across the not so busy main street. He stopped then, rather suddenly, and slumped agaisnt the wall.
My, it had been years since he had seen her. Years since he had talked to her. Looking across the street, through light traffic and light rains he remembered the other times he had looked upon her face.
He remembered the last time he had done so while seeing her. They had woken up in bed, him before her as was usual. They had woken up to kisses and squeezes and the smell of cigarettes and brandy and parchment.
Looking across the street he remembered everything about her, The Girl With Flowers In Her Hair.
He remembered the way she squeezed him tight, tighter than any other girl.
He remembered the way she laughed after they kissed
and he remembered how it had ended.
A shameful night in March, two years ago.
Drunkingly, he laid his hand upon her. Not in the nice way, but in the way his step father used to unto him. He did it because she would not go to the store to pick up more brandy.
That is why he hit her.
It was not the first time, though.
The first time he had been drunk as well and it had been because she talked back to him, the way he would to his step father. Now, you must understand, she gave him a second chance. She swore that if he were to every lay a hand on her ever again she would be gone. He swore to her that he would never again do so. He would lay off the brandy and he would be the man he should be. The man his real father was, before he died. He would be a husband and a lover and a healer and a man. He promised these things.
Then, two months later, he hit her again.
This was the last time.
She followed through on her promise and he did not see her until that moment, right then, as he looked across the street. He thought he should go over to her and say hello.
He though maybe he should cry at her knees, God knows he wanted to.
He thought he should beg for her back.
No, he had not gotten off the brandy, but that's only because she left.
He would though.
Oh God, he would.
Just as John Carpenter had worked up enough courage to cross the street and talk to Mary Stein, The Girl With Flowers In Her Hair, a man emerged from the building and grasped her arm. And she huddled close to him and looked up at him in a trusting, loving way. The way she used to him. Not the way John's mother did his stepfather. Not the way Mary did the last time she looked at him.
The strode, Mary and the Man,
arm in arm up the sidewalk.
Into a taxi, that sped away, up the street and away from John.
Oh God, how he would quit the brandy.
Sep 3, 2013
Sep 3, 2013 at 1:18 AM UTC
Every time I see you smile
my heart skips a beat
I smile like an idiot
my eyes began to shine
Every time we meet
Every time you laugh
I get butterflies in my stomach
I get goosebumps on my arms
my face turns red
and I can't think of a response
Every time you hold my hand
a shiver runs up my spine
I feel comfortable enough to put my head on your shoulder
close my eyes and thank God your mine
Every time you kiss me
I feel so safe and complete
I love the feeling of your body agaisnt me
as you sweep me off my feet
Every time you speak
the rest of the world goes away
all that matters is you and I
and it's like this everyday
Every time we say goodbye
I feel excitement knowing I'll see you tomorrow
I drive away feeling on top of the world
Every time I think about your smile.
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 4:14 AM UTC
I forgive you for the rumors you spread
I forgive you for cheating on me
I forgive you for criticizing my looks
I forgive you for cursing me with insecurities
I forgive you for choosing alcohol over me
I forgive you for the lies you told
I forgive you for all the sleepless nights
I forgive you for stealing my hope
I forgive you for turning my friends agaisnt me
I forgive you for comparing me to her
I forgive you for making me out to be a *****
I forgive you for using my pain agaisnt me
I forgive you for making me feel so low
I forgive you for the mean texts
I forgive you for stealing my property
I forgive you for using me for ***
I forgive you for the harsh words
I forgive you for being fake
I forgive myself for letting you have power over me
I forgive you for becoming the person you said you’d never be
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 24, 2015 at 8:33 PM UTC
Sliding against the smooth grooves of my cheeks.
Gliding along the wet slippery membranes.
Waves of saliva wash up agaisnt the beaches of my lips;
Parted lipstick red.
My empty gazing eyes confiding distantly within yours,
Trying to find your soul.
Circling unpredictable whirls and swirls...
Luring out your soul.
Within the pursed-lipped borders
Lies an adventure.
Exploring every inch and angle for something lying already within.
In a perfect world, borders are set;
Space is confined.
Alas, I guide you into the outer limits
Taking down the flavor of
You.
Mixing your DNA with mine.
Dec 3, 2012
Dec 3, 2012 at 4:07 PM UTC
they force me to come
where the ivy once grew
flourished between the noise
and the ocean’s dance
loved agaisnt the sun
kissed between the sand
and i arrive
to that forgotten place
where the only life left
is of that of the sea
and the stars
where once the crowds gathered
and i was happy
but those people were gone now
dead
just like the magic
and the ivy
that once grew around the white house
and flourished against the sun
filled with life
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 6:59 PM UTC
She goes over to him and curls up around his feet
he spreads his wings and folds them gentle around her small body
rest now *** I've got you
looks up at him and blinks her big blue eyes
teehee
an evil grin spreads across her face
he looks down at her with his eyebrow raised
Whaaaaat are you doing?
she suddenly pounces on him and starts batting at his wings squeaking as she does
A shrill screeches rings through the air as he lifts off the ground and shoot up into the night sky
She clings to his back with her claws ears flat agaisnt her head
looking around she realizes something
*** I'M FLLLLLYYYYING
Weeeeeeee
Falls off the Bed Laughing
Dear Goddess, panda you are just a freaking goofball.
smiles wide at him
I know
^-^
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 12:08 PM UTC
You are my dauntless sword;
Gleaming iridescently in light, and in the absence of it.
Enticing my wistful eyes with your intrepidness,
before chanting, "My hero of sorts."
You feathered my growth with fairy tales and mendacities,
Always winning agaisnt the evil that you made me believe.
You were the tenacious tower who locked me out of peril,
I was the naïve, gullible, stupid damsel who believed all of it.
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 12:24 PM UTC
White powder
NO
its definitally not Flour
Clear bitter liquid
NO
It's definitally not water
Needle after needle
NO
Its definitally not a doctor's shot
All these addictions
All these Drugs
Swirlled around me
But I didnt touch them
I kept away
I had my own
Little White pills
NO
they aren't my ADHD medicine
Swallow them
Snort them
Take me away
Blissful numbness
To zoned out to think
Perfect sanctuary
The high
I could Fly
I was invincible
The Crash
the reality came back
with a harsh flash
Needing more pills
to keep the high strong
More and more
More
more
more
Suddenly
They are gone
Leaving me to my own Devices
My stomach turns agaisnt its self
Can't keep anything down
Twisting painfulling in knots
A Cold sweat breaks
Shaking so hard
can't think straight
I need them
I need them
I need them
Pray for death
Pray for pills
Pray for this to end
I need them
I need them
I need them
"oh she has the flu"
Stupid doctor
what do you know?
can't you see
my desprete need
My need for those little white pills
I
Need
THEM
Months go by
feels like eons
feels like I'm in hell
Without them I am plauged
by horror and pain
depression peaking
Slowly my body heals
My need dims
My need disapates
5
years
go by
Addiction no more
Dependent no more
Little pill free
But every now and then
I feel that itch
just below my skin
the itch for a pill
for the numbness it brings
Every now and then
No matter how sober
I will always be recovering
Because when you were addicted to pain meds
It's hard not to relapse
May 10, 2014
May 10, 2014 at 3:21 AM UTC
The fog lifts and the clock swings wildly.
Fully in control now, I watch quietly as the inferno blazes.
In my slumper, I soaked the world with kerosone, and handed you the match.
Reality vibrates around me.
The silken layers of it all slip and slide agaisnt my skin,
My eyes flutter agaisnt a vision of a thousand possibilities.
Beneath my fingers; blood and flesh.
Feeling this body, I recognize it as as my own.
Copyright Monica Figueroa 2012
Sep 5, 2012
Sep 5, 2012 at 6:59 PM UTC
gray goose
flight agaisnt
uplifted sky
now set free
their kite wings high
that honk
their horns
while going home
through speechless
blue sky
Dec 28, 2013
Dec 28, 2013 at 6:17 PM UTC
Everything shatters to the floor,
the clock stops its silent clicking.
Nothing seems to have changed,
yet all has rearranged.
As my life crumbles to pieces,
the choices become scarce.
This demention, this futility of the sort,
asphixiates me, scrapes agaisnt my throat.
Escape, I need to seek one;
an easy "out of here" from this cage.
Take one pill, another one shortly follows;
The alcohol flushes it down,
And, just to make sure,
Grab the friendly blade of the knife and
pierce the snakes running down my arm.
Now, now I am free.
Free forever from the torment of this miserable life.
Nothing chains me down,
my wings are free from harm.
I don't leave this place because I want to die;
I leave because I don't want to live in this purgatory.
Pity those who stay behind,
destroying each other bit by bit.
Far worst from what I have just done.
May 8, 2013
May 8, 2013 at 9:32 PM UTC
This is for the cutters, the ones with eating disorders, the ones who are bullied, the emo kids, the different ones and the misunderstood ones.
I know you all are hurting
you have demons you all are fighting everyday
some of you cut just to ease the pain
while some of you wish to just go away
You get talked about and judged
for being what everyone longs to be
and that is to be yourself 100%
not giving a **** who disagrees
Some of you are throwing up on purpose
to feel pretty by those who don’t see your true beauty
some of you do drugs to block out excess noise from the ones who call you nobodies
Some of you plan out your suicides
because life for you is unbearable
some of you hide who you love
out of fear that love for the same *** will be unacceptable
Some of you cry yourselves to sleep at night
while some of you stay up to write songs
you write about wanting to make a difference in the world
when in reality you already are
All some of you have is music
and the crazy thoughts inside your head
while some of you have no one to lean on other than the pillow on your bed
I know every cut, every plan, every purge, and needle in the arm
is an escape from your own reality
some of you get beaten for no reason at all
when all you want is to be loved by somebody
You all have one thing in common
you are warriors agaisnt the norm
you were put here to make a difference
to change the world is why you were born
This is for the ones who get frowned upon
for being nothing but themselves
This is to those who struggle with a mental illness
and is pressured to be like everyone else
This is to those who express themselves in ways no one understands
This is to the ones who go after their dreams
with encouragement from their favorite bands
This is to those with scars on their arms
and to the ones whose rib cages show
you all are loved by somebody
and it could be by someone you don’t even know
I know you think your not heard
but I got news for you
I know what it’s like to be in your shoes
and be unsure of what to do
I want you to know that I love you
I think you are awesome as it gets
you are the ones that I look up to
when I’m lonely and depressed
I care about what you have to say
even if what you say is bizarre
I accept you for the hearts you have
because your hearts show who you really are
I care about your well being
I want you all to shine
I just want to hug each and every one of you
and hold you tight as you cry
I don’t want you to be afraid of anything
I want you to go after your dreams
don’t listen to the ******** people say
because what they say say means nothing anyways
I know I’m only one person
but please believe me when I say
you guys are all I think about when I’m writing my poetry everyday
I want to be your voice
for those who are afraid to speak
I want to be your encouragement
until your strong enough to be on your feet
The world is a scary place
for those who are considered misfits
but in the scary place we call a world
is where magic happens if you search for it
You are never alone on this journey
I am here for you till the very end
I’ll be here until God calls me home
and I promise to always be here to hold your hand
Apr 17, 2015
Apr 17, 2015 at 10:36 PM UTC
your mystery resembles that of
ancestors buried beaneth the living
endless tombs infused with secrets for
only the earth and life in its very self to know
and when in your arms, oh how I wish that I may die
as to know those hidden things that you carry
within your frail frame of humanity and
that beating heart that I immerse myself in
and feel as I did when I was only 4
I understand mediums of distance should be kept
between us, and I give respect to the energy
that needs the breathe there
we cannot suffocate that
we cannot abuse it
I feel you in every extreme
when next to you Im am on the edge
of a building ready to jump
into a infinte fall
I feel you like the love
a terrorist has for his cause
I love you like the mother
loving her sick child in her deepest
height and fear
this
this is how I love you
with every drop of intensity that
I can manifest within my stricken body
I long for you the way the earth
will long for the bee’s after they
banish from this world
I lay next to you like the pedal
opening agaisnt her leaf
and I fall into you the way the
dew falls off the stem an onto
the tombstone beneath it
and when you kiss me
and feed me the liquid of your body
I am the starving immigrant lost
in a foreign desert rescued after closing
his eyes and accepting that death shall come
but then I open my blistered eyes and you
are there
lets walk down streets heavy and engraved
with depth so that we can feel understanding
in what is around us
let us live in places that have lived
as long as we have, where love
such as ours endless, has bred€
the sky covers us with its thunder
and I lay wet and covered in us
my pupils expanding
in
wonder
Jan 3, 2011
Jan 3, 2011 at 11:37 AM UTC
I had a dream about you last night and that's something I never thought would happen.
We were sitting on a couch or agaisnt a wall and there was a blanket over us. You intertwined your legs with mine and buried your face in my neck when I put my around you.
Your skin was warm, as I'd imagine it would be.
This dream unsettles me, in a way.
We would never have worked.
I liked you, I liked you a lot and I think you liked me too.
It's a good thing you told me not to kiss you,
I would have fallen for you and I would have hurt you.
I would have hurt you with my inconsistencies and my inadequacies,
and you don't deserve that.
I would have hurt you with my drugs and my unhealthy diet and the only outcome of our relationship would have been pain for you and warm skin and soft words for me.
You're a wonderful human being,
I look up to you
and I'm happy you found someone to be enamored with. Someone who won't hurt you with drugs and unhealthy diets. Someone who will hurt you with soft words and warm skin
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 12:41 PM UTC
i find refuage in my basement
behind a closed door
screaming out to metal music
broken razor blades litter the floor
and upon the table youll find
pills crushed into powder
like magic it numbs my mind.
in times of anger
i smash my fists agaisnt the wall
knuckles meet cement
i watch a bruise form
while i let the tears fall.
the blade so easy
i caress its shattered edge
the metal to my skin
i dont even flinch
i hate you so much
a **** for every sin.
so i plaster on the makeup
around my emotionless eyes
i dont know if youve noticed
but the love has recently died.
i find my face boring
so plain and mundane
so i shove a needle threw my lip
a maschoist addicted to pain.
and baby you might think youve saved me
but youve only dragged me down
i hate you so much
like a drug
you leave me strungout and hell bound.
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 12:20 PM UTC
I See You Laying On The Bed Quietly And Still,
Without You Even Moving It Gives Me A Reaction,
You Are Just Perfect And So Delicate,
People Do Not Understand Our Feelings For Each Other,
Everyone Judges.
My Boyfriend Doesnt Know About This,
And Your Husband Doesnt Know Either.
Oh Yes Baby We Are Bad People But Who Are We To Judge?
I Fell Inlove With You Since The Very Start Of This,
I Just Want To Hold My Body Agaisnt You,Tight And Rough,
Letting You Know That My Love Is True And His Is A Game,
I Want To Steal Your Heart Away, The Same Way You Stole Mine.
I Am All Yours And You Smile Cause You Know That,
But For You I Am Just A Game Because He Has Your Heart,
I Am Just A Toy Of Your Satisfaction, Oh Baby Love Me Tonight,
Love Me Forever, Give A Sign You Will Be There Whenever.
Tonight Is Not For You And Him,
Tonight Is For You And Me,
So Give Me Your Body For Me To Embrace My Love To.
Oct 23, 2012
Oct 23, 2012 at 10:00 AM UTC
Dante pulls out the lily
its orange petals
glistening in the pale moonlight
Lillian stares at it
its the most beautiful thing
she has ever laid eyes upon
Edging closer to her
nervous she will bolt
He takes her hand
"Lillian I am just a lonely assasin
a monster in the eyes of your society"
He looks at her
fear in his eyes
"but you have dared to love me
you have turned your back agaisnt their ways"
He hold her close
and whispers
"So I must ask you this just once"
Do you dare love me again?
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 3:53 PM UTC
The ghostly moon,
transparent in the blue afternoon,
waits patiently for its time to shine
while me losing you consumes my mind.
Bright pinks and blues fade as the sun begins to rapidly sink,
portraying how you left in such a hurried blink.
Darkness devours the remaining color in the sky.
The stars begin to shine, for they are not shy.
Although their beauty agaisnt the midnight blue
have no comparison to that of you,
they still compete for my attention.
But your gravity insistently grounds me from ascension.
The moon expands to light the night,
in hopes of aiding in this vicious fight.
Despite all this, they fail to see
the enormity of your control over me.
Temperatures drop as the night grows strong.
I see my breath as I contemplate what went wrong.
The silence of the night is prominent,
coercing me to bear in mind your callous heart so dominant.
Meteors burn and fall as quickly as tears on my cheek,
And yet you are still the only one I seek.
When will the sun come back to life?
And mask the pain of your wounding lies.
Oct 29, 2011
Oct 29, 2011 at 1:31 PM UTC
If i asked,
would you run away with me?
Pack up and leave everything behind,
Hitch Hike to freedom,
Start over with nothing but a gutair and each other.
Would you embrace the unknown,
and travel down roads with no destanation in mind?
Does the thought of waking up every morning
not knowing where youll end up
captaviate you as much as I ?
Could you become that fearless,
spontantious and care free?
Or would you turn back,
Remember all the things you've left
And miss your past?
Darling if i asked,
Would you run away with me?
Escape everything we hate
And with one decision
Change our fate?
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 3:16 PM UTC
Sprinting down the steep hill
Running with the birds
Dancing along the barren ground
Arms spread out wide to embrace the wind
As it drags its whispy claws through my glass ribs
Hair whipping agaisnt my cold white cheeks
Caught on the frost on my scarlett red lips
Taking drags of oxygen instead of drags from cigarettes
Lungs burning
Its just you
You and the beauty of the wind
Feb 18, 2014
Feb 18, 2014 at 11:57 PM UTC