in the nights
i wake up
not being able to sleep
because i've been craving your body
for too long now
but desperately knowing
your soul is long gone now

i woke up
alone again
and the last sips of champagne still rest in the glass we shared drinking from last night
the bed sheets still carry your fragrance
which otherwise wouldn't have been remembered
and the ashtray, laying within two burned out cigarettes, smoked after the sensational miracle of love

but anyways,
no goodbye note
no message
i woke up,
again

can you hear me screaming
cause my heart's still bleeding
two weeks ago
i was laying
in your bed
now, you're shooting bullets
in my head
three weeks ago
i saw a shooting star
and wished for a universe
in which we are
now, we're parted
and barely know how far
four weeks ago
i never thought i'd say
but i hope you find your way
even if far away
in the arms of someone
you want to stay
but maybe you'll think of me
every now and every then
when you see my face
instead hers
again

i wish i was special
but all i really am
is a disaster
bruising along the coast
of your incomplete love

you pulled the trigger
almost left me bleeding to death
but halfway through
you turned
and took out the bullets from my heart
i looked you in the eyes
and saw you tearing up
but it wasn't you
just the absence of your buried soul

usually, i see you in my hallucinations
when i'm too high to think about reality
but now, i see you all the time

during sunday afternoons sitting next to me on the floor reading the old love letters you wrote me

standing next to the fridge watching me how i make myself a cup of coffee to taste something else besides the taste of your lips

at night, you're even laying next to me and you're smiling at me like you used to

&' even tho my bed sheets were washed endless times after you've laid with me on them, they still carry your fragrance

and every time you appear anywhere by me
i start talking to you
i tell you how much i've missed you
i try to admire you as long as i can
'cause i'm afraid that at some point
i stop imagining you
forget about your face
that some day you become a blurry memory
inside my head
and that even the drugs cannot bring you back

stay

i really wanted to stop your bleeding
but i realized my fingers were knifes
and my love for you a ******* gunshot
right next to your heart
so that the shot didn't **** you
but your dripping blood did