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winter child Apr 2020
5 years later—
I still wanna be me.
more a listener,
minus anxiety.
5 years later—
I still wanna have a room,
with a big glass window
where I keep my feelings on display
in the highest floor of a skyscraper,
to catch more of sunlight
so I don’t have anymore trouble
to be more opened up.
5 years later—
I wanna read myself better
and be more careless about people.
kids might be an option,
but I still wanna share the bed with my cat.
winter child Apr 2020
I’ve tried my hardest to paint the cloud blue
until he walks in,
and it’s suddenly pink with a sweet hue.
should’ve become annoyed—
but for the first time after a while,
it felt like the sky never seemed so reachable
for me to touch any star
and pick up the dream I left far behind.

so that I sit as I watch
how he re-draws my universe.
giving him the chance
to color it gently
with the Pantone of his smile.

I said—
“let’s paint the sun red”.
but instead,
he put the stain on my cheeks
by placing a soft kiss on my mind.
later did I know, my heart was gone.
you could’ve guessed
he’s the thief.
but for the first time after a while,
I asked him to keep it.
you found me.

winter child Sep 2019
we stand on different grounds.
with oceans too wide to cross,
out of sight but never disappear.
so I beg—
I beg for you to never let me
slip off your mind
while I am standing parallel
to wherever you are.
while smiling ear to ear,
arms heated always ready to welcome,
drenched in blood fighting with distance.
and one day
I hope—
I hope you do not forget me
—even though i am a universe away.

winter child Aug 2019
In case no one gets it,
i collect my excerpts
than i spell my prayer.
Spills my personal feelings
and trouble,
longer than i bow
on my knees.

i memorize every shame
and quote it
in a piece of paper,
the same stroke
they did to break
my bones.
Marks down
every of their tone
when i got yelled at,
being degraded.

In case no one gets it,
i use my fingertips to fight.
Being sure of my words,
but never myself.

They can take off my guts,
break down my sanity
into pieces of insecurity.
Yet i’m here to remain bold
until the last spill of ink,
and my pen
can no longer stand.
the battle is in my head

winter child May 2019
I grew to love the moon,
the stars & what galaxy has in store.
I studied their gleam
& how they burn themselves
to lit up amongst darkness.
still, they’re not the reason
why my cheeks are lifted today.

I grew to love the universe
& how it made up a fate
for you to always be the reason
why I pull through even the hardest day.
—I grew to make a meaning out of your existence
winter child Mar 2019
you’re worth someone’s scratch
in their book,
every dots, space and the smudge—
as you busy questioning your value
someone’s smearing their ink to make each of your every breath a poetry.
for every word that born—
you blow spirit to them,
brought them to life.
—in the end, there’ll always be someone who loves you. they’re just not as loud.
winter child Jan 2019
what if love don’t spark anymore
after a while of being together,
what if it dies years
after the knots being tied.
what if it was gone long before we realize.
what if love wasn’t the one we seek.
what if it wasn’t something we need.
what if a marriage requires something else all the time—
for love that doesn't last forever,
but fate does.
happy 25th anniversary mom & dad,
hoping one day love could find its way back to our home & make it warm again.
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