the worst thing I’ve ever done
was letting the world
know that I write,
it’s not the 2am phone calls
asking if I’m okay,
it’s not the regret of
of relationships or
the running away,
it’s the look in my mothers
eyes when I write about dying,
it’s the regard to kin
when holding certain
emotions in,
forging positivity
and relaying
the antiquities
of struggle,
the minuscule
moments of will
drill into minds
painting all kinds
of doubtful abstracts,
creating spousal transacts
of how to fix their son,
it’s not the questions
about what I mean when I
say my skin spits goose flesh
or my eyes wrap yesterday
in spruce mesh that
eventually frays,
it’s the days where
I get kindred
phone calls
wondering if I’ll pick up
because of writing
the night before
stating that
I’m skating
on thin ice,
I dont want them to worry
I’ll be fine,
but for now it’s the pen
that has to unwind
the noose from
confining words
I refuse to say.

Because cutting hurts less than you...

Trapped behind these walls.
Tears flow like waterfalls.
Hopeless dreams waste away.
Like the words she never got to say.
Once full of love and life.
Now stabbed with a 7 inch knife.
Look close in her eyes.
You can see the lies.
When she tells you she's fine.
It's just another line.
In reality she in so much pain.
She's barely even ******* sane.

There are many reasons why I don't sleep at night. But I lay in bed comfortably with gratitude that you're no longer in my life.

Let me introduce myself.
I am your worst nightmare.
Your biggest regret.
And the reason for your despair.

Let me introduce myself.
I am the sadness in your veins.
Your hidden secrets.
And the reason for your worst pain.

Let me introduce myself.
I am the heavyness in your heart.
Your broken dreams.
And the reason you feel so torn apart.