picture perfect plastic dolls
line up in the ballet hall
masks adjusted, shoes pulled on
the cameras flash, the lights are on.
flaunt their figures, beguile the boys
wildly pirouetting with a perfect poise
a silent chorus of envy they sing
patch the masks and sew a grin.
the curtain falls, the masquerade drops
her pointe shoes are all worn out
her toes are bleeding, her ankle’s sprained
but a sparkling reputation she has claimed.
a perfect picture of plastic dolls
lined up with their masks all on
the colours fade, the angle’s changed
to show beneath, their melted face.

I try to hold on to wisps of you,
Caught in the gunfire of my own force
Because a year ago, the beginning of the end began
And I tried to push you out, assuming
That it’s only human
To try to forget when it hurts too much.

And now, you’re a name on a history book page
Learnt but forgotten, fading away
A distant ghost of your smile remains
And I struggle to bring you back,
To feel the same way again
But I can’t.

There are moments, though:
A picture, a song, a letter, a flashback
When the memories we made
All come flooding back:
The magic you did, the illusion you cast
of forever safety, love that lasts.

And one day your great-grandchildren
Will point at a yellowing picture
Forgotten inside a falling-apart card tricks book
Or an old diary with letters to no one
And I’ll tell them with a smile
That that was the man who happened
To teach me how to fight dragons.