My beloved, believe me when I say you are beautiful
Like how I do whenever you whisper the same to me
We are beautiful, and our love is as beautiful as the word's best definition could ever be
There is beauty in the way our eyes resemble hopeful sunrises
As we gaze into the hollows of each other's soul
In the way our softest kisses spark the most brilliant fireworks in the firmament
In the way the intertwining of our fingers
Commence a massive stampede in the still jungles of our hearts
We are beautiful, my love, we truly are
But we are beautiful stars tremendously shining that cannot be in the same constellation
Our lips are the dulcet melody of an orchestra but the composer wrote us in different music sheets
We are both pieces of a magnificient puzzle but not adjacent ones; our edges do not coincide
Beautiful is how we worship the same sun and perform parallel rituals
Though I realized that we are but ethereal planets bound to our own inescapable orbits
Our corporal entities are home to various innumerable celestial bodies
I have enough proof to say we are galaxies with feet in this incessantly expanding universe
Listen to me love, when I say you are beautiful and so am I
Heed me when I say we are beautiful but we must face the reality
We are as beautiful as we could ever be but our proximity does not yield the same result
Remember that every sunrise will set at a certain time of a wonderful day
That no fireworks display are tattooed on the sky's flesh
That no explosion of resplendent colors remain, that it is a fireworks' nature to disintegrate
And the aftermath of stampedes is just unimaginable
I may not be an astronomer but I have witnessed each of us turn to neutron stars
And two neutron stars cannot occupy the same space, especially collide
The composer's judgment cannot be questioned
For the composer knows the best music shall be produced if we are not played simultaneously
There's a reason why the planets are crafted as they are, why galaxies must stand alone
So for the last time, I will tell you, that you are beautiful my love
You are beautiful as you are, and yes, the same applies to me
Our love is beautiful, as beautiful as its best definition could ever be
But there are things we cannot change, things that we cannot control
Perhaps we can be try to be beautiful together in the next eternity

I stand in front of my family
And feel like I'm in front of a large crowd
I'm glad that I don't need to do an extemporaneous speech
A pretentious smile is enough for them
Because the thoughts in my head are in a tumult
There's also a certain heavy feeling in my chest
I couldn't quite describe even if I tried and it just won't leave
Now it's pulling my tongue back and I can't speak

On our usually empty table lies food aplenty
Nothing special, nothing grand
It's just the same every year
I stare at the banquet offered in front of me
And my system screams of starvation
However, I do not exactly know what I'm craving
I fill my mouth, taste every dish
But I know the fullness of my stomach would not suffice

My mother serves me a plate of pasta
She wears this proud grin and it's the widest she can muster
I twirl my fork and watch in awe
The pasta resembles how my insides twist at this very moment
And the other moments when I'm asked what's wrong
Or when I'm asked why I act like I do
I absentmindedly shove it all in my mouth
Because sometimes silence is the best answer I could give
And mother said it's rude to speak when your mouth is full

I pour myself a glass of iced tea
And I struggle as I do so for my hands are quivering
I congratulate myself for not spilling it, for not making a mess
Maybe I should congratulate myself too and pat my back
For I've been subduing my tears well, not letting them spill
The barriers on my eyelids are crumbling though
So I'll take another drink and blink for them to be reconstructed

To them it's a blissful celebration
But I'm about to faint from suffocation
Questions have grown hands and I feel its roughness on my neck
Inquisitive stares turned to chains which now constrict my chest
Again I wish to lie on my bed and sleep
But it's time for celebration, or so my mother told me

They rush to pull the blankets off and wake me up
When all I wanted was to just stay in bed
Let my exhausted body replenish its energy
But they say I did nothing yesterday
I did not do any sort of strenuous activity yesterday
Or the other day before that
But isn't trying to convince yourself that everything's alright
Considered as one?

All I hear is greetings and wishes
In different joyous tunes paired with hugs and kisses
I force my lips to stretch in a smile
Feign gratitude and fake excitement for this day
But in all honesty I'd like to go back to sleep
Though my dreams will transform into nightmares
The voices of the tiny demons in my head disappear

They sing me songs with so much glee
I hear my mother exclaim it's time to celebrate another year
Or was it my father's voice?
I'm perplexed as I try to figure out which
So many faces, so many lips and voices
How I wish for silence to dawn on this house
How I wish for silence to dawn on me

My grandmother brings out a tray
There lies a round mass of gustatory paradise
My mouth doesn't water like how it did during the past years
She places candles on its surface and lights them up
A rush of envy runs through my veins
Grandma, light me up instead

I close my eyes like they all say I should do
Fervently pray and make wishes without bounds
I feel lost for I don't know what to ask for
But when my vision is engulfed by darkness
I find myself wishing for peace
Please, I'd like to have inner peace

I open my eyes and huge grins are what I see
Everyone waits for me to blow the candles
I stand here to please the audience
So I lean towards that rounded object
I take a deep breath and my heart whispers another wish
Let me be these candles
I'd like to feel the heat of being alive even once
Then rob it all from me
I still wish for peace
Please allow me to go back to sleep

Unexpectedly
You caught my attention.
And slowly
You captured my whole entity.
My confused mind and heart ask
How could mere and simple admiration,
Make me mindlessly promise you eternity?

Your entire self draws me, attracts me
Entices me, binds me wholly
Trapping me into a world
I find truly in disarray yet undeniably impeccable.
Needy, languid
My shaking voice cries out to you vociferously.
I am completely yours but you will never be mine
Utterly impossible.

Affection, undivided attention
Things that I vehemently desire for.
Your eyes are like shooting stars
And I am waiting for it to befall on me.
In this loathed reality
I know none can be asked of more
Perhaps, my hopeful heart’s wish
Will forever remain in my dismal fantasy.

Speak to me of your daily whims
Of your recurring nightmares
Of your vague dreams
Of your subdued thoughts

Speak to me of the blinding sunlight
Of the watchful moon
Of the loquacious stars
Of the mendacious night sky

Speak to me of the blossoming flowers
Of the condescending trees
Of the dainty birds
Of the cool breeze

Speak to me of unsung novels
Of the rejected songs
Of the smashed guitars
Of the obnoxious trumpets

Speak to me of your distant memories
Of your hopeless aspirations
Of your unappreciated efforts
Of your seemingly insignificant presence

Speak to me of taboo perspectives
Of shunned personalities
Of existing gods
Of modern society

Speak to me of the inexplicable suffering
Of your death desires
Of your unheard cries
Of your weakening heart

Speak to me of unending love
Of blazing flames
Of transient emotions
Of eternal scars

Speak.
Speak to me.
Please speak to me.
Speak to me of anything.
I need to hear your voice.
The silence is unsettling.

And the hand of the clock ticks
In a metronomic beat
Every second is counted
Another moment passes
Eyes searching around the area
An effort to ascertain
If the expected has come
A bathe of disappointment
Is the welcoming arms
The waiting continues