His chest rising and falling
That is all that I can look at
The bed is in the middle of the room
The center of attention

I have been waiting, anticipating, praying
to escape this dark room
where the only sounds are his breathing and
the consistent beeping that let’s me know he is still here.

I’m stuck. Motionless. Blank.
The sun from the window tells me to come alive
I can’t. It’s too hard.
He stirs and I stay put

I look to the side table
Those ******* flowers
smiling at me
So out of place

It's past midnight and my head is full of you.

The things you say
and hate
and like
and worry about,

the conversations we have had
and the ones I want,

the way you smile
and mock me
and laugh
and tease,

the habits you have of hidden insecurity
and lapsing into other languages
and talking low and fast,

even the way you sound when you have a cold
and your voice is slightly off.

I am in love with all of it.

I haven't thought about anything else for hours.

I reach
       arms stretched
welcoming them into my bed.

Lips on skin
        I taste and touch
eagerly spreading long legs.

Our body's collide
    Show me my worth
what do I know of my value?

I need so much...
    emotional pushed away
only physical as they enter me.

Rough and wanted
skin set fire
     I like it when it hurts.

Release granted
they always stare the same
    wide eyes on my face.

Hush your pretty mouth
they always say before they go
      kissing swollen lips.

Just another indent
another man to call me beautiful
    another mark on a once pure soul.

From opposite sides of the country, they both scream into the air
"I ******* love you, darling! And I know that you're out there!"

The wind selfishly eats their voice right as it leaves their tongues
Their echoes dissipate more quickly than the smoke from in their lungs

Their magnets then push them even further apart
She bottles her tears as he locks up his heart
Sitting with their backs turned from across the cruel planet
They try not to take what they both have for granted

But they keep throwing stones at the moon, spewing secrets in the seas
They keep tossing their tears in the sky and flicking their blood on the trees

Screaming their doubts to the clouds, and spreading their ugly disease



But it is no use
because in the end
when their eyes open
they'll always be alone


...left with words like these

I won't fall in love with you for the way your hair cascades your shoulders
I won't get hooked on the way your body sways when you walk
And I won't focus on the small flaws that society highlights every day

I am not your average person
I'm an *******, a ****
Sometimes I don't think ahead
I've gotten myself into unsettling situations
And I tend to be self-destructive

But love terrifies me, it intimidates my self control
Because when I fall in love with you
It will be with the way your eyes glow when you speak
The beautiful chime of your voice when you answer the phone
The way my arms fit perfectly around you as you lean into me

I'll fall in love with the way we understand one another
And with the fear that consumes me
As I contemplate why someone as wonderful as you
Whose "flaws" I'll fall more in love with every day
Chose my broken soul
To make you feel whole.