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taylor styles Dec 2018
??
to be
drunk and in love
is something i wish to share with you,
and only you for the rest of my days.
taylor styles Nov 2018
it’s 2 a.m
and i’m kept awake
losing myself over a memory
taylor styles Dec 2018
i dream to run away from my sadness the way you did.
taylor styles Dec 2018
this sadness in my heart may not last forever,
but it sure seems like it’s here to stay.
taylor styles Jan 2019
my poor soul is so tired and drained.
taylor styles Nov 2018
i wish i could have planted
roses
below your eyes.
so you could see
just how beautiful
you are
even if you cry
taylor styles Nov 2018
you’d think we’d be the lucky ones,
but we’re still alive.
taylor styles Nov 2018
your words
so often laced with malicious intent,
i don’t understand
how you could ever let them escape your lip,
so carelessly.
taylor styles Nov 2018
my hands
will always search for you
i’ll look for you in everyone.
your touch is what i crave,
your lips pressed so gently to mine
taylor styles Nov 2018
i had never truly felt love
until you wrapped me in your warm embrace and made me feel at home
you became my safe haven
i will forever be grateful to have you blessed my heart with sheer love and infatuation.
taylor styles Nov 2018
my sadness comes in cycles,
incomplete and abrupt.
tossing my thoughts around and around,
winding them together until they’re perfectly interlocked
and mangled beyond recognition.
the kind where one point ends,
and another begins had been blurred so beautifully
i no longer try to find a destination for the words that flow so violently through my conscious,
bumping into each and every corner
all to make sure it’s presence is known.

my sadness comes in cycles,
without warning,
baring only validation for its predecessor
taking every disgusting thought and helping them grow together,
offering no consideration for anything other than itself.

my sadness comes in cycles,
where it plants itself so deeply into my mind,
i can feel it’s roots,
draining me of all my life and energy
to makes sure it’s alive
and well.

my sadness comes in cycles,
where it carves anything it deems worthy
in to the bark of the tree
that has been flourishing in my mind for years.

my sadness comes in cycles,
where it wants me to just acknowledge that it’s here,
residing in every room of my body.
shutting off the vacancy signs that once illuminated the empty streets outside,
attempting to welcome somebody new in.
shattering the windows,
tearing down the walls i spent years building up,
stealing every key i made,
ruining every inch of my being in its path,
with no remorse or sympathy,
to look at the ruins of my body,
and feel accomplished.

my sadness comes in cycles,
acting as an innocent toddler,
throwing tantrums,
kicking,
screaming,
for everyone to see.
crying unapologetically
until i give it the attention it so desperately craves.

my sadness comes in cycles,
cycles, i no longer have control over.
taylor styles Nov 2018
is it okay if my
definition of happy
is yet to be
determined?
taylor styles Nov 2018
be my lighthouse
when i’m lost at sea
dark skies surrounding me
when i’m struggling to stay above,
be the raft to hold me up.
when my heartbeat is weak,
be there,
guide me home
with you.
3/29/18
taylor styles Jan 2019
i could get high on your soft giggles,
and your hazel eyes.
taylor styles Jan 2019
you remind me
of wine-kissed lips,
tucked in bed with your favorite show.

soft kisses placed so delicately on my cheek.
sweet i love you’s ringing in my ear.
taylor styles Nov 2018
don’t think just because you felt me
that you know me
ive let many people touch me
to try to find love in a lie
to feel intimacy
where it was not fostered
you aren’t special
taylor styles Feb 2019
you told me i was pretty,
but you said i looked prettier on my knees.
taylor styles Nov 2018
my mind is like the ocean
a constant wave of emotion
one minute it’s a calming tide of contentment,
and the next there’s a storm crashing onto shore
begging to sweep someone under with it

beneath my rippling tides are countless shipwrecks,
memories floating about,
lonely thoughts keeping each other company
sharing the stories they’ve collected over time.
things i thought i drowned farther than any depth
that not even i could ever dive back into,
slowly making their back up to the surface

this ocean has an ever changing pattern.
there is never true peace or calm here.

my ocean may never harbor tranquility.
taylor styles Jan 2019
i fear that i will be blind in love,
see only what i want,

i have made my own mistakes in love,
but i hope to god you won’t be one.
taylor styles Nov 2018
the only thing you left me with
was inspiration
for the words that fill countless journals
taylor styles Nov 2018
in the end,
my heart is going to break
but i’m still going to thank you.
taylor styles Nov 2018
i could lie in your bed forever with you
rest in your sleepy sighs
when you whisper light i love you’s into my neck
i know i want you forever
taylor styles Feb 2019
i always thought that when i was in love i would write beautiful poems
about how i feel
and how beautiful you are to me,
but my mind draws blank with contentness.

no words can fathom what i feel.
i could learn a thousand languages and not a single one could i articulate what my heart holds.
i might delete this??? idk
taylor styles Jan 2019
i have re-written myself a million times,
tried to find who i am in between lines,
but i’m still clueless.
taylor styles Dec 2018
do you love me like you loved the others?
or am i just here?
a body to shelter your false love
and infatuation.
taylor styles Nov 2018
to see my soul
is something you will never say
you ever done.
you were never
deserving of it.
taylor styles Jan 2019
i try to convince myself that things aren’t temporary.
that you won’t disappear after some time.
tell myself your heart won’t stray,
our souls won’t unravel from each other.
our bodies stay braided together where they fit so perfectly.

i want to fool myself into trusting we’re different,
we won’t fall apart.
we won’t be a distant memory that sends a shiver through your body and hits your heart stronger than those before.

i want to believe.

i want to love.

i want to last.
im so unreasonably sad right now
taylor styles Dec 2018
our love was tragic.
a hard passion,
tossed aside.
you
taylor styles Nov 2018
you
here i am
open
exposed
all of me is laid out
every inch of me
every curve
every stuttered word
and muffled moan
that escapes my lips
when i’m with you

here i am
waiting to be covered by you
completely
fully
i want everything from you
as long as it’s you
i want to feel that love
the one we share innocently
i want to feel those
i love you’s
the way you give them to me
we both know we mean it
not in love
but we love
and that’s what i’m here for

you
taylor styles Jan 2019
i dream to make art as beautiful as you are.

— The End —