dr!nking, sm0king, v@ping
to stop myself from breaking
my mind is in denial
of the toll that this is taking
this isn’t who i want to be
this person that i’m shaping
this version isn’t who i am
the monster i’m creating
my mind is somewhere in the clouds
my dreams are quickly fading
i need to take care of myself
but death is sat there waiting

if i sleep the day away
my world might just stop shaking
but no amount of sleep could ever
fix this kind of aching

i am a bird
you clipped my wings
i used to fly
i used to sing
i used to soar above the sky
and feel the air of newly spring

but i fell so far from that sky
you held me dear so i could cry
you took away the hurt and pain
and then you clipped my wings again

if i had known you'd take my flight
i would've putten up a fight
so i lie here inside this cage
with all of this unsettled rage

but in my dreams, i fly away
i spread my wings without delay
i dream about the times back then
hoping i might fly again

i've lived with you all my life
you've been there through the laughter and the heartache and the tears
you were always physically there
but never emotionally
i am your daughter through blood, but not through love
i never had the comfort of being close to you
you were always just my mother
hearing other people talking about their relationships with their moms hurts
bc i've never had that
always disappointed for my mistakes and never praise for my achievements
you were always too busy to talk
too preoccupied with my other siblings to listen
too tired to comfort me in my time of need
i've always had a mother, but i've never had a mom
you are so checked out of my life that you cant hear my cries for help
but its just a normal teenager thing, right?

nobody thinks about you until youre gone
nobody realizes the hole you will leave in their life until youve left it
nobody misses you until they cant have you anymore
nobody apologizes until it doesnt matter anymore
and now you're gone
and its too late
and nobody stopped you.