You don't have to be alone
To feel alone.
I still struggle with that
Despite how much I've grown.
I still have my friends,
My family, my fans.
But when I look down, all I see
are my empty hands.

In a world of dreamers,
are you awake or asleep?

In a realm of promises,
which do you keep?

In a land of tomorrows,
when does he beseech?

Within thoughts of conclusion,
does she retreat?

In the be all end all,
why does she screech.

I think we're all dead now,
we weep
we
weep.

i have dreams
sometimes
and in them
i'm nailed to a cross
and i have died
there's so much blood
and my eyes
are gouged out
with rosaries
sometimes
it's you and me
alone
and i lose my innocence
over and over
until i'm screaming
and i ***** my lungs up
when i look at the dream you
your face is expressionless
and void of love
i never wake up

“instructions on how to destroy yourself from the ground up, and vice versa”
i say i think i am a better ghost-- and she says, dont be so cliche
this isnt a fairytale, this isnt Wonderland
, but i was born shoving the barrel of a gun down my throat like it was someone else’s tongue
and after a while they start to taste the same
less like a herald and more like sour lips curling around a sentence over and over “nobody exists anymore
welcome to the Forgotten era--”
swallowing glass just so my throat wont feel so empty
when she kisses me she says shes sorry
when she says my name it sounds like a swearword, like her mouth is too brittle to sound it out right
“instructions on how to build the perfect barricade”, start with enough wood to burn yourself to the ground
start over. start over. start over.
(seventeen crumpled dollars and a neon sign that says WELCOME TO PARADIS, comical in a way that makes a nine year old on a too-small bike start crying)
We Need To Talk / cutting your bangs uneven with a pair of scissors you found in an abandoned building / LACHRYMAL: CONNECTED WITH WEEPING OR TEARS
“instructions on how to change the way your name sounds”
i bleed empty promises,call people in the middle of the night just to say that I’m Fine
(i dont even remember the last time i ****** awake coughing up consonants, trying to
rebuild myself, i swear!)
she says my name right and it’s a tuesday. there are guns on a basement wall twenty miles away
, and it’s raining outside
, and she tells me she likes the way it sounds
(she swallows it whole)

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

The water here is dense and deep
The same as when he came
That young and dulcet miller boy
Who sought to drown his pain

Still we offer an array
Of anguish to be kept
By this old bächlein full of warmth
Embracing all our heft

So many catastrophes isn't it?
If all you had was hell, imagine if I were the world where you are standing right now, right this year, too painful, too depressing; Be careful what you wish for.