You’re here
I can see you
But where do you go?
I can’t feel you

You come
I can touch you
But wait
Again I lose you

You sleep
I lay on your chest
You dream
Without a rest

I see
You next to me
And yet
You’re not with me

Oh how you get me high
To fly on the clouds

Oh how you hold me tight
Covered with clouds

Oh how you tie me up
Your see through cloudy bounds

Oh how I can’t let go
Without meeting the ground

No I can no longer
Stay in your cloud

No it just rains so much
And I’m starting to drown

No please just let me go
How foggy is my mind

For eternity locked inside
Your evil cloud

Dress her up
She’s here for you
Doll her up
As you desire to

She doesn’t feel
She doesn’t see
And she will kneel
That’s how she’s supposed to be

Tie her up
She knows her place
Use her up
She has no grace

She cannot say
That she won’t play
And she will be
What you want her to be

And when you’re done
Just kiss and tell
She won’t mind
After all...she’s for sale.

I wanted you to understand
This was no game to me
When I was reaching for your hand
I needed you to see

Choosing you
I did something new
I tried to break the ice
But how you answered wasn’t nice

You hit me hard
From the start
Made me believe
That you wouldn’t leave
Then in front of me
So that I could see
You changed your mind
Didn’t even tried to hide

It only takes a little while
To wipe out somebody’s joy
If you expected me to smile
You should have chosen a different toy
Now off you go
Rather fast than slow
There’s no more place for you
So go and play with someone new

You hit me hard
Not like from the start
Could not believe
How you chose to leave
There was nothing kind
In how you changed your mind
And if you can’t tell
Then all I have to say is go to hell.

Warm it up
Until it’s incandescently happy

Stroke it well
Until it shines with joy

Crooked smile
Points to what is to come

Ugly spark
In your eye before you proceed

Tear it out
Leave nothing behind

Squeeze it well
Until there’s nothing left

Slice it up
Lifeless on a plate

Eat it quick
Before the life runs out

No taste there?
You used it all up
You squeezed it all up
You messed it all up
You... made it give up
And it will never beat for you again.

Hurt is the way how to show me your love
Hurt is how I know I’m never enough
You smile and I know that for a moment you care
Next thing I wanna die under your freezing stare.

Hot and cold could be your both middle names
I never know which one is next
And getting bit tired of your silly games
While you’re the one who plays the best.

Why are you so much fun to be around?
Why do you leave me in my tears to drown?
Why do your eyes say „My love, I’m your home“?
And your words make me feel as ever alone.

Love and hate on a date sharing a cold one
Which one is your queen tonight?
Spite off and charm on, let’s fool everyone
That night is day and day is night.

There’s a cliff
You’re standing on it
Saw that image many times in my head
It was always sundown
And salt was in the air

Tried to take your hand
You let me briefly
I squeezed it gently, smiled at you
You gave me a glance
There was nothing in it
And you let go off my hand.

Edge being so so close, I slipped
Tried to grab your hand
But you weren’t seeing me
There was a new hand in yours
And you pushed me away.

Falling down, I didn’t fight
Knew it was over
And the dark wasteness waiting below
Took a deep breath, blinked
And salt was in the air

I was watching you for quite a while
Your deep brown eyes and your smile
Kept telling myself it's not wise
But in the end the heart always tries.

When I was laying down on your chest
Breathless, thinking 'you're the best'
You said 'I need a shower'
And I regained my power
And then you took me again.

Is it wrong or is it just right
That my ******* look like after a fight
And when I close my eyes I still can feel
How deep you were inside of me
I think you just ****** my brain out

I don't even mind that you snore
But when I'm awake I want some more
And thus 5am to me you have shown
How electric can be 'nice and slow'

You kissed me deep and touched my hair
Then you entered me and breathe I didn't dare
When you started to move inside
I could no longer hold my sigh
'You're amazing' slipped right through my lips.

Is it wrong or is it just right
That my thighs look like after a fight
And when I close my eyes I still can feel
How deep you were inside of me
I think you just ****** my brain out.

You gave me memories I'll treasure
And not just about the pleasure
When you asked if there'll be number ten
I had no idea back then

From the start you made perfectly clear
That a man in love I don't have to fear
I guess it made me feel free
You'd willingly want to be
Another number to me

But what I have miscalculated
Was that my feelings might get escalated
The more time we spent with each other
I kind of wished there wasn't another

But the die is cast, that's the game
In honesty there is no shame
Seeing you with others
Was the moment I knew
I was just another number to you.

Is it wrong or is it just right
That you brought my dark heart in the light
When I close my eyes I can still feel
How tight you were holding me
I think you've just taken my heart.

We used to be so close
Like two bodies and one soul
But when you put two stars together
Sooner or later they explode

And thus one day years ago
Till today I still don’t know
What exactly made you realize
You don’t want me anymore
In your life

I don’t wanna say I’m sorry
I hurt you, you hurt me too
But I can’t help to think and worry
How should I live without you
We have sides that are different
But deep down we’re the same
My dear and only sister
I just want you in my life again

From others I only know
About the places where you go
And every painful silent mile
Only makes the distance grow

I feel it’s time to unpack
It doesn’t have to be white or black
And every painful hidden smile
Will only make it hard to come back
Back home

I don’t wanna say I’m sorry
I hurt you, you hurt me too
But I can’t help to think and worry
How should I live without you
We have sides that are different
But deep down we’re the same
My dear and only sister
I just want you in my life again.

Now I no more want to care
But the silence I cannot bear
Facing another cold rejection
Picking up the phone I just don’t dare

Wake me up
Make me yours
Show me your strength
I’ll give you my body

Get in my head
Take my heart
Kiss my soul
I’ll give you my obedience

Feel me
Know me
Become one with me
I’ll give you my everything

I don’t need your money
I don’t seek your attention
I don’t want the love we had
And I hate the memories we once shared

Being torn apart
Screaming until you have no voice
Crying for help that won’t come
You’re in pain but you feel none

Some call you crazy for the things you try
Some find it admirable not knowing it’s all a lie
When there’s no escape and you know you’ve tried
Take every chance that arise to revive what long ago died.

It’s been quite a journey my friend
but now it’s time for it to end
So please, my stupid heart
Give it up so my life can start

You stole something from me
I didn’t know I had it
You pretended to be good and, see,
Didn’t think you could do it
The thing was buried deep inside
there were others who tried digging
if somebody’d say you’d be the one
I’d laugh and say they’re kidding

The trusted found the vault
The fun one scratched the door
But neither of them came close to see
What waits behind the smalt.
Then you came with the whole arsenal
And one by one you fired your guns
Greed and lust in your silver eyes
When you touched the conquered prize.

And here we are
Months away
It was tempting
Now it’s empty
Walk away

But here we are
once again
You keep stealing
Spreading feeling
of.. imminence.

You thought that you’d have fun
with your new attractive toy
But used it just once and broke it down
Only you got out the joy
Tried to play from time to time
Forgetting the pieces were still mine
Never since it has worked the same
It’s you who is to blame.

When I realized that it’s gone
I cried like little girl
Forever was lost the light that shone
And it just made me hurl
There is no such thing as a froggy prince
Even the nice ones are caught bluffing
I’ve been guarding the empty box ever since
To hide that there is nothing.

And here we are
Years away
I was tempting
Now I‘m empty
Walk away

But here you are
inside my brain
Again stealing
Taking feeling
of .. innocence.

Hey dad
Surprised to hear from me?
It’s been forever since I saw you
Do you remember me?

Hey dad
You have been here for me
But only as a pair of chains
That poisons the blood in my veins
And messes with my head
Hey dad

Again and again
When I choose a way
I’m weighed down by the past
That you took away

Again and again
Counting my mistakes
One followed by another
Just saying, you’re my father
Just kidding, you don’t care
How’s that fair?

One day
Maybe I’ll understand
Why you couldn’t stay with me
And hold my hand

One day
Maybe I’ll finally feel strong
To forgive you that you left, at last
And let go of the ghost of past
„Hey dad“ you’ll hear me say
One day.

But for now
The only thing I do
Is writing silly songs
as is this one too

And for now
I am stil set in my old ways
Of thinking how things could have been
And choosing men who are wrong for me
Then crying when I’m sad
Thanks Dad

So here you go
This letter is for you
It’s just few simple words
But it will have to do

And I don’t know
If you have anything to say
But I no more wanna live with the doubt
Whether my whole life I’ve been missing out
Not having you around
I said it out loud

„Yours  truly“
Finished page, just sign the letter with your name.
Be careful, since you only have that one shot at this game.
No hurries
Once the whitey paper ***** in all the ink,
Lean back and pour yourself a glass of the very special drink.
No wine and no beer conceals the bottle
No headache nor vertigo next day
The memories will no longer hunt you down
Just take the road and let be shown the way.

There is too much to question
and too much aggression
I have a confession
it’s my indiscretion
Breath of a cancer
Touch of elegant dancer
Ego enhancer
But never an answer

Flashback
into the days when everything was black and white
when simply enough you could tell what’s wrong and what is right
Oh wait
that must have been another section of the book
because this chapter is what they unmercifully took
Browsing the shelves inside the library
Hoping to find the missing parts
The bookcases stare at you adversary
Sometimes you just don’t get the perfect cards

There was too much to question
and only aggression
through my confession
gone’s indiscretion
away with the cancer
exhausted’s the dancer
being the balancer
while seeking the answer

Too often
washing off everyone’s melancholy stink
wishing they would just one day ****** off and got a shrink
One’s mind
absorbs the good from people but the bad as well
on the outside, though, it makes sure that no one can ever tell
The book of the dead is not a fairy tale
And the book of life isn’t yet for rent
All there is left is to come up with a plan
On how to stand up when the body’s bent

Now this is the answer
this is the balancer
rise again will the dancer
whilst free of the cancer
no more indiscretion
no need for confession
void of aggression
rid of oppression at last.